You Know It's Time to Diet When...

• You dance and it makes the band skip.

• You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.

• You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.

• You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.

• Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."

• You run away, and your picture takes up all four sides of the milk carton.

• You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.

• You could sell shade.

• Your blood type is Ragu.

How about "yo moma's so fat" jokes?