You've probably seen this before but I got a kick out of it. The best use for this is to email it to one of your friends from Texas, and wait for their response. Be sure to put a PS at the bottom of the email and tell them that if they are guilty of 3 or more violations that they lose the right to be known as a Southerner. Ah good times.
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUENECK IF...
- Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
- You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
- You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY SPICY.
- You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road.
- You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
- You don't know what a moon pie is.
- You've never had an RC Cola.
- You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.
- You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
- You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
- You have no idea what a polecat is.
- You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.
- You don't have bangs.
- You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
- You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.
- You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
- You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
- You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
- You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)
- You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie)
- None of your fur coats are homemade.
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