BJW Q&A Part 1

Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator

Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!

Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?"
A: "You can't tuna fish."

Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
A: a meowntain

Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block.

Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!

Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds.

Q: What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies?
A: An ambulance.

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will Let it go.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
A: Idaho... Alaska!

Q: Did you hear about that new broom?
A: It's sweeping the nation!

Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
A: An irrelephant.

Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.

Q: Why did the belt get arrested?
A: He held up a pair of pants.

Q: What do you call a fat psychic?
A: A four chin teller.

Q: What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?
A: A Dell Rolling in the Deep.

Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!

Q: What do you call a computer that sings?
A: A-Dell

Q: Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica?
A: It's dread-full.

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!

Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
A: Ton.

Q: What do you call a gangsta snowman?
A: Froze-T

Q: What did the femur say to the patella?
A: I kneed you.

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
A: Kitty Perry

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.

Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A: a yardvark!

Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.

Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At the BP station!

Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.

Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?
A: LMAYO

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A: a thesaurus.

Q: "How do you shoot a killer bee?"
A: "With a bee bee gun."

Q: How do you drown a Hipster?
A: In the mainstream.

Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower?
A: Clean Jokes!

Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A: "Where's Popcorn?"

Q: What do you call sad coffee?"
A: Despresso.

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it!

Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!

Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.

Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose?
A: Nobody nose.

Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: Because it had a virus!

Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them

Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?
A: A penny.

Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles

Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A: Cause they arrrrr.

Q: What is the tallest building in the world?
A: The library! It has the most stories!

Q: What's the first bet that most people make in their lives?
A: the alpha bet

Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and quackers!

Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet!

Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner?
A: Man, that hit the "spot."

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!

Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

Q: What do you call having your grandma on speed dial?
A: Instagram.

Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
A: Because it was not peeling well

Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!

Q: What belongs to you but others use more?
A: Your name

Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?
A: Sunday, of course!

Q: Which is the building is the largest?
A: The library because it has the most stories.

Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A: Toad.

Q: What bow can't be tied?
A: A rainbow!

Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A: A Yamahahaha

Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
A: Spring time.

Q: Where did the computer go to dance?
A: To a disc-o.

Q: What is pink, goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet?
A: Bubble Gum.

Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A: A Bed

Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".

Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
A: To get a tweetment.

Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job?
A: Because she couldn't control her pupils?

Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A: A Clausterphobic

Q: What three candies can you find in every school?
A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.

Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A: Ouch

Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A: USB

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a bogey in it.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because he had no-body to go with.

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.

Q: Did you hear about the angry pancake?
A: He just flipped.

Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky.

Q: Did you ever hear about that movie constipation?
A: It never came out.

Q: What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth?
A: A Gummy Bear

Q: What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George?
A: 2 Fast 2 Curious

Q: Did you hear about the hairdresser?
A: She dyed.

Q: What do you call a musician with problems?
A: a trebled man.

Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
A: He pasta way.

Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In snow banks.

Q: What do you call a very religious person that sleep walks?
A: a Roman Catholic

Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco?
A: He pulled a muscle

Q: Did you hear about the carrot detective?
A: He got to the root of every case.

Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around

Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
A: Microwaves!

Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?
A: the Telephone.

Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move?
A: The road!

Q: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
A: He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
A: The scientists were brainstorming!

Q: What did Delaware?
A: a New Jersey

Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn't find a date!

Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A: Hi Cliff!

Q: Did you hear the one about the geologist?
A: He took his wife for granite so she left him

Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
A: Show me the honey!

Q: What did the man say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya!

Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?
A: Cool Music

Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I'm coming down with something!

Q: What do you call a window that raps?
A: 2PANEZ

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot!

Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!

Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
A: Post Office!

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time

Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: Don't worry, I've got you covered!

Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed?
A: To draw the curtains!

Q: What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer?
A: a loose Canon

Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.

Q: What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage?
A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.

Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
A: One! After that its not empty!

Q: What kind of button won't unbutton?
A: A bellybutton!

Q: What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream?
A: Depeche a la Mode.

Q: What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?
A: A barbercue

Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog.

Q: What do you call a condiment with a hit single?
A: a must"heard"

Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?
A: A heavy discussion

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing!

Q: What do you get when you plant kisses?
A: Tu-lips (two-lips)

Q: What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney?
A: You are to little to smoke!

Q: What do you call a ghosts mom and dad?
A: Transparents

Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine!