PSA - Church Item

I know that this is the only Sunday many Americans go to church during the year; so as a PSA...

Signs Your Church Has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors
- Nike "swoosh" on the cross

- Communion now sponsored by Welch's Grape Juice

- In Christmas play, Joseph seen with a pack of Luckies

- Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench

- Personal pew licenses now sold

- Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World

- Statue of Mary seen holding keys to a Jeep

- Holy water spiked with Diet Pepsi

- The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters

- Luxury pews with wet bar and satellite TV

- Scripture verses brought to you by Microsoft

- Bulletin has coupon section

- The holy water font has Perrier

- In the restrooms, an attendant hands you a towel

- There is a credit card swiper on the collection plate

- Offering envelopes bearing Visa or Mastercard emblems on them

- Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC

- Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC

- Sunday morning televised services sponsored by the FOX network

- Church vans traded in for Ford Broncos

- Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes

- Choir robes with the Lands' End emblem on front

- Sunday bulletins with the CNN logo

- Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL