All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!


Count Down

5 days and counting



GFF - Luke 21:1-4

First United Methodist Church in  Charlotte, North Carolina has what they call a "Muffin Ministry."   Before church on Sunday they give out muffins to anyone who drops by.  Most weeks they feed about 150.  The area the church is in, has a high number of homeless people.

Lots of churches do similar things, soup kitchens, second hand stores etc.  That's not really surprising or unusual.  It's also not something most people pay attention to.

Every once in a while something heart warming happens in one of these ministries.  Maybe its an addict that decides to get clean, or a teenager who turns it around and goes back home.  When that sort of thing happens its easy to reach into your wallet and fork over $50 to keep the "Muffin Ministry" going.

What if you're touched by the "Muffin Ministry" and the work they are doing but don't have an extra $100, or $50 to give?  Well that's O.K. even an extra $20 will help.  What if you don't have an Andy Jackson?  Hey that's all right $5 or $10 is good.  What if you don't have that? 

What if the reason the "Muffin Ministry" touched your heart, had nothing to do with someone getting off booze or drugs or helping a run away find their way back home?  Maybe the "Muffin Ministry" touched your heart today because you hadn't eaten.  Maybe that muffin and coffee was the first decent thing you put into your stomach in days.  It touched your heart because they helped fill your belly.

It's just a muffin.  That someone cared enough to give.  To you. Because.  Because, you might need one.

You don't have $100 bucks or $20 or even $1, if you did you wouldn't be eating free muffins in the church basement.  Its a really good muffin and these folks did it for you and you want to give something back.

You don't have much but you give what you have, and a note explaining why it wasn't more.
“Please don’t be mad, I don’t have much,” someone penned on the outside of the envelope, left in a collection plate at First United Methodist Church. “I’m homeless. God Bless.”
18 cents and a note left in a collection plate.  With inflation I suspect that's about the same as a widow and her two mites.


Marital Rape Follow Up

A couple of days ago I posted a scenario titled, "Is it Rape?". I was careful to leave out any references to the gender of the people involved and defined their relationship as married with children.  I indicated in the scenario that the sex life of the couple was blah.  The implication being that was the motivation for the events in the scenario.

Marriage has existed as a concept far longer than any human government.  Traditionally the relationship is defined as one man and one women in a monogamous sexual cohabitation. Open marriages, polygamy and polyandry occur, but the majority of cases called "marriage" involve the concept of one man, one women in a lifetime monogamous relationship.  This definition has existed as an "ideal" even in cultures with wide spread homosexuality and polygamy.

In America, and most of the western world arraigned marriages are rare.  Most people choose who they marry.  However this has not always been the case.  Arraigned or semi-arraigned marriage is very common throughout history. 

In my scenario we had a married couple.  It doesn't matter why they married, if it was their own choice or by arrangement.  What matters is:
  • Marriage by definition is a monogamous sexual relationship
  • implicitly (explicitly in some cases) holding the promise of sexual gratification
  • that they cannot seek sexual fulfillment with anyone else
That's why "marital rape" is/has been a legal impossibility for millennium.

What if I'm not, "in the mood".

Everybody reading this blog that's been married for any amount of time has had sex/put out when one of you wasn't "in the mood".  The experience isn't anybody's best effort in those cases. It doesn't matter if the "experience" is everything you both wanted (its not always gong to be).  The fact is it is something human beings need, even if we aren't always on the same schedule.

Marriage is the guarantee that your mate is going to meet your sexual needs, and you are going to meet theirs.  "In the mood" doesn't matter.  If you are married, don't you bear some of the responsibility for getting "in the mood".  If you know your spouse is going to want "IT" why not simply plan for "IT" in your daily schedule?

Don't I have a choice?

You had a choice right up until the day you got married.  After that no, you don't have a choice.

But isn't marriage more than sex on demand?

Of course it is.  Marriage is the blending of two lives together, in every sense, including propagating the species.  The concept of "marital rape" is a way to claim that one person can withhold the basis for marriage whenever they desire.  Its a way of saying "we are married in every sense that I find it convenient to be, and none of the ways I do not".

When one person controls the quality and quantity of sex the relationship is prostitution, not marriage.  If sex only occurs after/when certain conditions are met, its transactional prostitution.  It does not matter who the controller is and who is the controlled. 

Polygamy is one way of announcing to everyone that "she's not getting the job done" about the wife.  Why that is the case other people may not know, but a second wife or concubine is a clear indication of the first wife's lack of attractiveness/availability in the bedroom.

I find it interesting to note that the bible (which implicitly allows polygamy) prohibits the male form withholding sex from his wife(s).  A man was free to take more than one wife, but he could not reduce the marital provision for in material goods, or the sexual provision for the women he was married to.  I'm not aware of any other society that shared this principle. 


Heritage Not Hate

 Descendants of Dixie throw a huge bash, in Brazil.
It had all the trappings of a down-home country fair somewhere well below the Mason-Dixon line: Lynyrd Skynyrd medleys, mile-long lines for fried chicken, barbecue and draft beer, and a plethora of Confederate flags emblazoning everything from belt buckles to motorcycle vests to trucker caps.
But Sunday's party marking the 150th anniversary of the end of the American Civil War took about 5,000 miles (8,000 kilometers) south of the South, in a rural Brazilian town colonized by families fleeing Reconstruction.
For many of the residents of Santa Barbara d'Oeste and neighboring Americana in Brazil's southeastern Sao Paulo state, having Confederate ancestry is a point of pride that's celebrated in high style at the annual 'Festa dos Confederados,' or 'Confederates Party' in Portuguese.
Being Southern in the US  is somewhat vilified.  Being proud of your Heritage can be seen as racism.  People will mock the accent.  It's considered funny to talk about someone being married to their sister, etc. It hasn't always been that way.
Folks that are even slightly informed realize that the greatest traditions of the United States were embedded in southern culture.  It's not all NASCAR and grits.
The history of the Confederate migrants is one of the lesser-known stories of the Civil War, said Casey Clabough, author of the 2012 historical novel 'Confederados.' It's not even known for sure how many people made the arduous journey, Clabough said, with some historical accounts suggesting as few as 3,000, while others say there were as many as 10,000, predominantly from deep south states like Alabama, Louisiana and Georgia.
Most were lured by newspaper ads placed in the wake of the war by the government of Brazil's then-emperor, Dom Pedro II, promising land grants to those who would help colonize the South American country's vast and little-explored interior.
'They were seen as desirable, educated colonists,' said Clabough, adding the Confederados introduced the bull-tongue plow and other agricultural innovations to Brazil. 'And from the point of view of American Southerners who had just gone through this catastrophic conflict and were looking toward an uncertain reconstruction period, it certainly seemed attractive.'
 But, but slavery and racism:
Those who stayed ended up assimilating into Brazilian society, and very few of the Confederados' descendants speak English today. Some are racially mixed — as is common in this majority Black and multiracial nation.
Mixed-race guests at Sunday's party seemed unruffled by the omnipresent Confederate flag.
'To me it's a positive symbol of my heritage,' said Keila Padovese Armelin, a 40-year-old mother of two who describes herself as a 'racial milkshake.' ''For us, it doesn't have a negative connotation at all.'

Baltimore Burns.....Let it

Baltimore is burning.  So what?

I'm not able to work myself up into a sufficient level of give a crap to do a proper rant.  Sorry, I can't go there.  It's not that I don't care about the root causes of the decline of civilization, I do.  I have friends whose daughter moved there not too long ago.  I hope she is safe. 

We are told that Baltimore is burring because of white injustice.  I saw some of the press conference coverage of the mayor.  I didn't see a single white person affiliated with her administration.  I'm not sure how this is whitey's fault.  First mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, called the criminals destroying the city "thugs", then she apologized.  You don't want to hurt the feelings of rioting criminals, that might make them feel bad.

What's going on in Baltimore is the natural out come of half a century of Democratic policies and practices.  Expect more of it, not less.