All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.



Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!

3/04/2015

Blegg

I'm reaching out on behalf of an old golf buddy of mine who needs some help. 

His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an erection. When he came back, he handed her some diet pills. Anyway, he's looking for a place to live. Let me know if you can help.

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

3/03/2015

Health Advice

Mrs. Ipsa sent me a link to a dietician's blog.  I've got to admit that this is the most comprehensive and enlightening information I've seen about the role of diet and nutrition in health care.

The 2015 Dietary Advisory Committee Report: A Summary
Last week, the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee released the report containing its recommendations for the 2015 Dietary Guidelines for Americans.   The report is 572 pages long, more than 100 pages longer than the last report, released 5 years ago.  Longer than one of my blog posts, even. Despite its length, and the tortured governmentalese in which it is written, its message is pretty clear and simple. So for those of you who would like to know what the report says, but don’t want to read the whole damn thing, I present, below, its essence:
Dear America,
You are sick–and fat.  And it’s all your fault. 
Face it.  You screwed up.  Somewhere in the past few decades, you started eating too much food. Too much BAD food.  We don’t know why.  We think it is because you are stupid.
In 1977, a bunch of us got together to figure out how to make sure you would not get fat and sick.  You weren’t fat and sick at the time, so we knew you needed our help.
We told you to eat more carbohydrates–a.k.a., sugars and starches–and less sugar.  How simple is that?  But could you follow this advice?  Nooooooo.  You’re too stupid.
We told you to eat food with less fat. We meant for you to buy a copy of the Moosewood Cookbook and eat kale and lentils and quinoa.  But no, you were too stupid for that too.  Instead, you started eating PRODUCTS  that said “low-fat” and “fat-free.”  What were you thinking?
After more than three decades of us telling you how to eat, it is obvious you are too stupid to figure out how to eat.  So we are here to make it perfectly clear, once and for all.
 So, to spell it all out for you once and for all:
DO NOT EAT food that has salt or sugar in it, i.e. food that tastes good.  Also don’t eat animals.
DO EAT kale from your local farmers’ market, lentils and quinoa from your local food co-op,  plus salmon. Drink water.  That’s it. 
But rest assured, America.
No matter what the evidence says, we are never ever going to tell you it’s okay to eat salt, sugar, or animals.  And, no matter what the evidence says, we are never ever going to tell you that it’s not okay to eat grains, cereals, or vegetable oils.  And you can take that to the bank.  We did.
Love and kisses,
Committee for Government Approved Information on Nutrition (Code name: G.A.I.N.)
I only gave a short excerpt.  Go check it out.  It's good. 

3/02/2015

Incompatible

From the "I can't believe we don't have grownups in charge" file:

The IRS is defending its decision to let illegal immigrants claim up to three years’ refunds on income even if they never paid income taxes, telling Congress in a new letter last week that agency lawyers have concluded getting a Social Security number triggers the ability to go back and ask for previous refunds.
President Obama’s new deportation amnesty could grant Social Security numbers to as many as 4 million illegal immigrants, making many of them eligible for tax refunds under the Earned Income Tax Credit even for years when they cheated on their taxes, working off the books and refusing to file tax returns.
You can not have social welfare benefits and an open boarder.  The Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) is a form of tax code welfare that allows a degree of wealth transfer.  FWIW I take it too.  Then again I actually PAY taxes and report all forms of income, wages, DIV, and INT etc.  So in my case it reduces what I pay into the system.

One of the most abused (by Hispanics) tax code item is the EITC.  The normal way to cheat the system is to get a number (sometimes a very large number) of family members SSN #'s and claim they live with you.  This happens even if the person in question has never left Mexico.  It doesn't matter if you live in a 2 bedroom single wide, you claim that you have 10 or 12 or 20 kids with Hispanic names dependent on your income and living in your house.  Everyone knows that Mexicans have lots of kids and whole generations of people are happy living in a house no bigger than a refrigerator box, so the IRS isn't going to come around asking silly questions.  Then you put those SSN #'s down on your tax return and shazam! Uncle Sam sends you a big check.  Ain't America great?

That was how the scam worked before amnesty.  Now the IRS isn't even going to pretend that someone, some how, at some point, paid taxes.  Now all you have to do is show up and fill out the paperwork.  Instant check.  You can do that not just for this year, they're going to let you do it for past years, even if you didn't pay, even if you can't prove you lived in the US.  Ain't America Great?

This is just one scam.  It doesn't include WIC, SSI, free health care, Section 8, etc. etc. etc.  Come to America, get a job paying 500% of what you'd make in Mexico.  Pay no taxes.  Get free food, housing, health care and then fill out some forms and get free money.

The question isn't why they do it.  The question is why don't more of them do it.

2/27/2015

GFF-Banker Edition

Bankers deserve a lot of the crap they get.  Especially the NYNY power bankers who workout dirty backroom deals.  Your everyday run of the mill local bankers still produce an occasional good egg.  Take for example Blake Pollock.

Blake saw the same man walking to work down Crooks Rd In Rochester MI, year after year.  One day he offered him a ride.  This went on for some time.  He didn't give him a ride everyday, but he stopped when he could.  After a while Pollock's passenger, James Robinson shared his hard luck story with his unlikely carpool buddy.

James had a car, 10 years ago, but it died and he couldn't afford another car, so he did the best he could getting to his job in a local shop.  Mostly he'd try to grab a bus and then walk the rest or bum a ride when he could.  James Robinson is what America was, a hardworking man who showed up for work and does his best, day in and day out, no matter what his personal circumstances.

If you think about it, its a typical Detroit kind of story.  Times are tough, a man's down on his luck, (cue "Blue Collar Man" background music) doing the best he can, walking to work in the snow because he knows the value of having a job and sticking with it.

America in general and Detroit in particular responded to that story.  Two weeks ago Detroit's hard working and hard walking man, was given a new Ford Taurus

Say what you want about Detroit (I have), they still got heart in the motor city. 

For those of you who don't know Rochester Hills is a very wealthy community.  I used to live there.  For a banker to stop for a shop rat is incredible in and of its self.  To go the extra mile like Blake did is freaking awesome!

High Hopes

I've got high hopes.  No this post isn't related to the one below it.  I've completed my annual ritual of sending good money into the Wyoming Game and Fish Department in anticipation of winning the moose and/or bighorn sheep lottery.

In Wyoming the lottery is conducted via a point system combined with semi-random chance.  In other words preference goes to the person with the highest number of points, if everyone has the same number of points its random, otherwise its ranked. 

For the last 10 years I've always come in one preference point behind what was needed to get a moose tag.  Last year was no exception.  This year I've got just enough points to get a tag if the ranking works out like last year.  So, we'll see.

I've never been even close to getting a sheep tag.  After checking the 2014 results I see that I am getting close to having enough points.  This creates a dilemma for me.  I'm not in shape for a sheep hunt if I have to do it on foot.  I don't have anything like enough money to pay an outfitter for the hunt.  It might have been better to buy my point instead of putting in for a tag.  Part of me hopes to not draw the tag this year even though this hunt will be something that I will only be able to get once or maybe twice in my lifetime.