All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.
Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!
A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems
to be in top condition
physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?''
And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond,
he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the
turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back
off.'' Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished.
He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your
husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs
use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for
him again when he leaves. Is this true?''
And she says, ''That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator again!''
Little Johnny was celebrating his birthday soon. His
father asked him what he would like for his birthday. Without hesitation
Johnny said, "A spider."
His father was somewhat incredulous, so he asked him again. "I really
want a spider," responded Johnny.
Well, his father went to the pet store and asked the salesperson, "Do you sell spiders?"
"We sure do," was the response.
"How much do they cost?"
"$50.00," said the clerk.
Somewhat taken aback, Johnny's father said, "That's too expensive. I'm sure I can find something cheaper on the web."