Imagine raising a heavily caffeinated chimpanzee who is allergic to sleep.
"I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure the kids took it."
Seeing my 11-year-old son perusing a website filled with photos of Britney Spears, I commented, "She certainly is pretty. Which picture do you like best?"
"I don't know," he mumbled, embarrassed by his newfound interest in girls. "I'm just reading about her."
I came closer and peered at the screen. "Oh, really?" I said.
"So when did you learn to read Spanish?
My husband, Cal, grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong.
"I have to ask you to move your car," Cal told him.
"Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?"
"No," Cal replied, "it's at the wrong address."