All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.



Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!

5/27/2017

Hard to Believe

It's hard to believe that 6 weeks have gone by since I recovered My Blogger Account. All I have to show for it in that time is several BJW's that I uploaded when I was home to fill the queue. Even those are almost out.


I'm still living in a different part of the state almost 400 miles from my family. Since last Friday I managed to work probably better than 60 hrs. Not bad for a banker. All that hard work has paid off. I'm now enjoying this entire next week at home with my family.


My daughter has reminded me that we haven't had a date this month. That's happening after I get off the computer. My son has designs on every fish in the state. Mrs Ipsa and I have plans for latter in the week. We'll be 20 years married come Wednesday.


I have several blog posts that I've composed in my head, none of which have made it into writing yet. Maybe being back at home I'll get some time to type them up.


  I wish you and yours a great Memorial Weekend! May the kick off to summer find you with friends and family and a BBQ grill close to hand.

5/24/2017

Indian Math

An Native American chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant...


The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide.

A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.

"Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"

The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

5/17/2017

A Pun A Day


In the great desert lived a bunch of nomads.


Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank, due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man's strength and courage came from his beard, and thus the man with the biggest beard was their chief.

After leading the band for many years, Benny began to feel uncomfortable wearing the beards, in this hot and dusty land. He wanted to shave it off, so he called his council together to get their advice.

When he said he wanted to shave, the councilmen were shocked. One said, "Do you now remember the ancient legend, dire? The leader who removes his beard is cursed and made into a piece of earthenware."

Benny had heard this legend, but being a modern man, he scoffed at the tale.

Being headstrong, he went ahead and cut and scraped away his once magnificent beard. As the final whisker was cut off, a huge dust storm came up. It lasted only a few seconds, and when it cleared, there was a man-sized clay vessel where only moments before had stood their leader.

The council then knew the legend must be true. Their conclusion? "A Benny shaved is a Benny urned."

5/10/2017

Long but Worth it


The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop...


He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

 "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.

Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds."

 The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.

The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage.

"This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"

The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"

The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

5/06/2017

Personal Update

Farmer Tom gave me a call yesterday to see what I was up to, and to invite me to join the group on Face Book.  He asked how I was and how I was doing.  Then  a customer came in and I had to get back to work.

The short version is that I started a new job six months ago.  It's in a different town almost 400 miles from home.  We've been trying to sell our house but where we live now there are lots of homes for sale and not a lot of buyers.

The new job is great!  I haven't lost my touch.  I like not working with crazy people.  I've been greatly blessed and Mrs. Ipsa is able to stay home full time and home school.

The original plan was that the house would sell quickly and we'd have a new place.  To keep my expenses low, I rented a cheap apartment.  There is no TV or phone or internet in my apartment because I didn't want to sign a contract.  I don't have the luxury of a non-monitored internet at work.  I doubt my IT guy spends a lot of time checking up, but they let it be know that he can.  No blogging on the clock for me.

I'm home this weekend.  It's supposed to get into the low 80's today.  My son is nuts about fishing and I think there will be at least some mayfly hatches this afternoon.  In a little bit we are getting back in the truck (I just got home last night) and taking another drive.  I'm hoping he'll connect with some browns.

5/03/2017

Train Drain

So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living...


He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.


Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed.


Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.


"You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.


The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."

4/26/2017

Trump Jokes

How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?
By renaming it Trump University.


What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?
Hair Force One!


If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card


What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.


Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?
Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.


Did you hear about the first executive bill that newly elected Trump passed, called the American telephone act?

You no longer have to press 2 for English.


Jeb Bush: "My brother kept us safe".

Donald Trump: "Yeah, from 9/11, Katrina, the Great Recession, and thousands of amputations from IEDs after illegally invading Iraq without an exit strategy."


There was absolute chaos on Capitol Hill this morning as Donald Trump signed an executive order changing the National Anthem to "ICE ICE Baby...".


Trump: "Foreign Policy?, if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

4/19/2017

BJW Chuck Style

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.


Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris can hear sign language.


Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack... even a heart isn't foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris.


Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.


Chuck Norris once fought superman. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.


Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.


Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.


Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.


Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.

4/17/2017

After Work

So, I've got a new job.  I'm living in a new town.  Things are pretty good. I'm not saying that there are a lot of Mormons where I'm at now, but I'm hanging out with the uncle of two of the wives from the TV show "Sister Wives" after work tonight.


Really.

4/16/2017

In Other News

BJW is Back.


I've managed to get a few BJW posts into the queue.  Even if I don't get a good string of posts going ya'll will have something to drop by for.


You're welcome.

4/15/2017

He's Back!

Blogger has decided to unlock my account!


It only took nearly two years. 


Since last July, and it was July, I had some BJW's in the queue, a lot has happened.  I'm back to being a banker.  Business is good.  I'm trying to sell my house so I can move.  The wife and Kids are doing fine, but we are all living in different towns while we attempt to sell one house to buy another one.


Thanks for all the calls and emails that you all have sent.  With any luck, I'll start publishing on a regular basis again ASAP.