All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.



Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!

3/17/2019

BJS - Irish Pun

An Irishman by the name of O'Mally proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.

The young lass, on learning it wasn't real, returned to her future husband and protested vehemently about his cheapness.

"It was in honor of St. Patrick's Day," he smiled. "I gave you a sham rock."

2/18/2019

President's Day

I was eating lunch on the 18th of February with my 10-year-old grandson and I asked him, "What day is tomorrow?"

He said, "It's President's Day!" He is a smart kid.

I asked, "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln, etc.

He replied, "President's Day is when the President steps out of the White House. If he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."

You know, it hurts when coffee spurts out your nose...

2/13/2019

BJW - Valentine Puns

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A hog and kisses!

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine's Day!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche!

Liz: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."
Jon: "Really?"
Liz: "Yeah, you make me sick!"

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my Valenstein!"

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
"I'm sweet on you!"

Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart?
Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small.

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
"I love you with all my art!"

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
Forget-me-nuts.

Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
Because it's all heart.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn't suit his taste!

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?
"I'm stuck on you!"

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.

Why did the banana go out with the prune?
Because it couldn't get a date.

What is a ram's favorite song on February 14th?
I only have eyes for ewe, dear.

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?
Let me call you Tweet heart!

What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
You get buttered up.

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?
Cauliflowers!

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?
You're purrr-fect for me!

1/02/2019

BJW - A Blonde's Year in Review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... Box said ' 2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours ... Power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool Aid.....wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing....... Couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... Learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm...... Car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's..... They are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .... Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911. 'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!