All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.



Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!

3/29/2008

In The News


Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

Dinner Out

We don't do dinner out as much as we used to. The reason is I see no need to subject other people to my kid, who may or may not decide to behave himself. Plus I've gotten picky about where I want to eat, and nicer places aren't much fun for kids. I find that I don't enjoy the evening because I'm worried about the boy's behavior. This is true of nights like tonight when he was just fine.

Tonight we went out to a Chinese buffet place. This was a result of the in laws being in town. RJ behaved himself like a perfect 18 month old gentleman. One other person not so much. We came in and were seated at a table across from a very large women. Fat people (of which I'm one) aren't a surprise in a buffet restaurant, neither are morbidly obese types (of which she was one). She was also the proud owner of a cell phone. She felt compelled to talk on it very loudly. I doubt that anyone in the place didn't hear her conversation, about her daughter's period and how her daughter was too freaking stupid to have extra tampons etc on hand each month. Truthfully after 5 mins of this I was also starting to hate this unseen girl. We got all the bloody details of the event, and an ample understanding of the girls mental defects in the period planning department. If you look up "white trash" in Websters you'll see a picture of this women and her phone. I was so pleased that this wonderful women was going to be part of my dinning experience, that I was fantasizing about slapping her all the way back to her trailer.

Yes I know, "she has rights". I've been told that before. My complaint isn't about her rights, its about her lack of manners. She must have had other complete strangers to enlighten about feminine hygiene, so she paid and left. I think the entire clientèle breathed a collective sigh of relief.

There after, dinner was a complete success, no food was thrown, no crying, no "I want down now" fits. A perfect meal out with a 18 month boy. I remember when a perfect meal involved choosing the best dry red to accompany the soup, salad and entree. These days I'm pretty much happy with no food in hair (anyones hair the boys, mine people on the other side of the room). RJ didn't even spill his sippy cup. Large amounts of high sodium, fried foods were consumed and a good time was had by all.

Speaking of sippy cups: does everyone know what I mean when I say "sippy cup"? On the way home, mom and grandma discovered that they couldn't find RJ's sippy cup. Back to the restaurant. Yours truly was nominated to go back in.

ME: "Excuse me ma'am, we left a sippy cup here. I was wondering if you have it"

Chinese Chick (CC): "isss sissy cusp?"

ME: "Yes a sippy cup, you know babies drink out of them".

CC: "Me don't know". (calls Mexican buss-girl over) "This man wants sissy cusp, do you have sissy cusp? (points at me)

Mexican Chicka (MC): "Sissy cusp?"

CC: "For make baby" (still pointing at me)

MC: "No make baby". (looks at me, grave expression crosses her face)

CC: "sissy cusp for baby drink" (she made a fist with the thumb out and sucked on her thumb)

MC: "NO SISSY CUSP! No make baby, no care how big tip".

ME: (trying to be helpful) "I think we left our cup here, it has a thing like a straw in the top, its for my kid".

CC: "Give this man sissy cusp".

MC: "Me no punta, no"

The conversation started to get a little tense between the two women at this juncture. CC was eager for MC to give me the sippy cup. MC was somewhat offended at the idea of giving customers sippy cups. I was ready to go buy a new sippy cup to avoid any further unpleasantness. The exchange between the two women was starting to take on a "I'm the boss, do as I say" tone, mixed with a bit of a "give him a sippy cup if you want but leave me out of it" objection. Just as I was ready to say forget it and make for the door, my father in law walked in. "Hey Res, they found it, it fell out in the truck". He didn't say "Res" he used my real name, but you get the picture. I said "thanks" and took flight.

Tomorrow I think I'll eat all my meals at home.

Progress

"We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive."
- C.S. Lewis

3/19/2008

Confounded Contraption

I recently became the owner of a late 1960's vintage 25 acp. It is of a blow back design. The gun is now part of my collection as more of a curiosity than a functional firearm. However it is a firearm and as such it needs to be in good repair and functional. My problem is that I can't figure out how to field strip the weapon for cleaning. There are no take down levers, slide release or stop, and no visible method to remove the slide to access the barrel for cleaning. I've spent some time researching the company to get a manual but they are out of business. I'd like to clean it up and shoot it, as well as replace the springs. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

3/17/2008

Taylor Remembered

Yes I had a birthday this month. I'm now older. It beats the alternative. If you haven't sent your gift there is still time.

Looking back on life, somethings haven't worked out the way I thought. The dream of working offshore as a banker is gone. In fact, the whole career in finance has been scraped. But I can't say that losing that dream has mattered as much as I once thought. I had other career/success benchmarks that I wanted to reach by the time I reached my last birthday. I've been blessed in some of those, and I've let others go. Letting go proved to be its own kind of blessing.

I've come to the realization that parents telling their kids that "you can be/do anything/everything you want to be", are lying. You can't be everything or anything you think you want to be or do. This is tremendously good news. What we think we want isn't always best nor will it always make us happy.

To rip off a old song "regrets I've had a few". Most of the things I regret turned out to be fundamental learning opportunities. I wish I hadn't learned those things the hard way, but some people only learn in the school of hard knocks. Apparently I'm one of those hardheaded people. Secretly I've always known that about myself.

I remember asking a teacher how old she was, and thinking that anyone that old was ready to keel over and die. Guess how old I am this year? Yep. Still feel almost as young as I did that day. Now I'm officially at the into middle life stage of male development. Some of my friends have traded in the 40 year old wife for 2 twenties and a six pack of Viagra. I don't see any need to make that swap in a vain attempt to reassert my manhood. Who needs Viagra? Besides Mrs Ipsa is going to be 41 this year and that isn't evenly divisible by 2.

Res Jr (RJ) has proven to be a great blessing. While friends are buying sports cars, playing wife swap, and other interesting things, I'm spending my middle years, playing daddy. Tonight I, in a very mature and dignified manner, particularly appropriate for a man of my age and status in life, spent time jumping in mud puddles with my 18 month old son. RJ has shoes that have little red blinking lights that go off when he jumps. These look really cool when combined with the splashing effect enthusiastically produced in a puddle of melted snow. At least he thought so. I did a double take to make sure mom didn't see us, then I laughed too.

God did right by me when He denied me things I thought I wanted. Instead He blessed me above what I imagined according to His time schedule. He is a good God.

3/08/2008

Ron Paul

Its worth watching if you haven't all ready seen it.




For fun name the person who said this quote:
"THESE are the times that try men's souls.

The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.

Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.

What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value."