Farmer Tom’s book review got me to thinking on this. Blame him.
Mutually exclusive positions are ones that can’t both be true at the same time. A mutually exclusive choice is one that once you’ve made it you can’t back out and change your mind, once done its done. As simplistic as that sounds lots of folks have a hard time accepting it, or living their life according to its ramifications.
Sexual fulfillment is one of those mutually exclusive choices. One person can’t enjoy both the Puritanical (i.e. Biblical) view and the Playboy view. I’m assuming the Puritan view to mean one mate for life and the Playboy view to mean extensive sampling of many partners and lots of causal variety. Unfortunately some folks want to blend the two points of view and thus miss out on enjoying either one of them fully.
Here’s what I mean. Each of these approaches to sexuality has its benefits. You can enjoy the exclusive sharing/romance/intimacy of the Puritanical approach or you can have the adventuresome variety of the Playboy. Why anyone would want to split the difference is beyond me. In trying to have it both ways you end up with something less than the ideal form of either approach.
I realize that most do try to have it both ways, either by starting Playboy and moving to Puritan or sometimes the other way around. I think that only leads to disappointment. Pick the point of view that’s most likely to give fulfillment and stick with it, trying to have it both ways is like having your cake and eating it too.