All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!



This is the story about how I tried to buy drugs and nearly got shot by the cops.

I needed to get a prescription filled. So I loaded up the dogs in the back of the truck and headed to town before the pharmacy closed. Due to a mix up with the insurance, I spent a ton of time trying to get the right policy info so I could buy my drugs. Meanwhile another customer pulled up outside with dogs in their truck. My dogs jumped out and went to visit their dogs, scratching the crap out of their truck in the process.

Now a normal person would have asked me to pay for the damages. This one called the cops. By the time they got around to showing up I had locked my dogs inside the truck. I finished up not getting things fixed with the insurance company, after all its Friday, its 6 o'clock and screw the customer we'll look into it Monday.

Anyway dogs scratching a paint job requires a cop and extra back up. Cop #1 seemed cool. He listened to the other persons story and then explained that, 1. no crime had happened, 2. their was nothing he could do, and the best thing was to get it fixed and send me the bill. He asked if I was willing to pay the damages, which of course I am, because it was my stupid dogs that scratched the ever loving crap out of the other truck. At that point we swapped phone numbers and agreed that we'd figure it out next week when the local body shop opens.

During the exchange cop #2 took up a hostile position flanking my left, hand on gun and did the "fake jump" thing about three times. Apparently this is deemed a helpful deescalation technique, as is direct eye contact and constantly squeezing the grip on the Glock and flipping the retaining strap off the gun. Keep in mind that all of this occurred AFTER he had opportunity to observe that everyone involved was peacefully working out the details of getting the truck fixed.

Emotionally most people get a little charged up over things like this. I was less than happy about it. As was the other party. Everyone was civil, polite and agreeable and peaceful, except the kid who hasn't started shaving regularly and apparently is in possession of a gun and a badge. I have no objection to the gun, but somehow having a badge converts the owners into half crazed gunslingers looking for an opportunity to shoot someone. I know several cops that don't fit this description but more and more often I'm reading about or encountering stories about those who do. I've had a few occasions, one in Central America, where I thought it was possible I'd be shot. Tonight I got the impression that this kid was eager for his first kill and it mattered not whom he pulled the trigger on, or the reason for it.

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