All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!


Bluenecks: Northerners (Opposite of Rednecks)

You've probably seen this before but I got a kick out of it. The best use for this is to email it to one of your friends from Texas, and wait for their response. Be sure to put a PS at the bottom of the email and tell them that if they are guilty of 3 or more violations that they lose the right to be known as a Southerner. Ah good times.


- Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

- You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

- You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY SPICY.

- You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road.

- You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

- You don't know what a moon pie is.

- You've never had an RC Cola.

- You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

- You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

- You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

- You have no idea what a polecat is.

- You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

- You don't have bangs.

- You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

- You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

- You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

- You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

- You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

- You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)

- You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie)

- None of your fur coats are homemade.

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