What Men Like in Men

Hereafter follows something I never thought I would post: An excerpt from an essay first published in Cosmopolitan Magazine.

[I]t will clear the ground a little if we first discover what it is that men dislike in men.

I suppose that every man who is a man would readily agree that he dislikes a “Sissy”; but it is doubtful whether most persons could give off-hand a really comprehensive definition of what a Sissy really is…

The subject of Sissyism is really very interesting – first because there are so many Sissies in the world, and in the second place because only a very small number of them are usually recognized as being such.

Real men hate sissies. Check.

This kind of Sissy is the kind that men dislike – and women too; and the reason for it when you get down to the last analysis, is that in everything he is somehow incomplete. He tries to do as others do, and yet he never rings quite true. 

Women hate sissies too.  Check.

The traits in which this type of Sissy is most lacking are the traits which men most like in men. And yet this is a very negative description. Moreover we must distinguish between the man who is merely “popular” with others, and the man who is really liked, the man to whom other men will go not only in their jovial moods but in their serious ones as well, the man for whom they will make sacrifices and of whose friendship they are really proud.  Deep down there must be something more fundamental in order that a man may grasp and hold the hearts of other men. These vital attributes are few in number, and with the exception of just one they do not need much more than a mere mention.

Men worth admiring aren't sissies.  Check.

First of all, a man must be what other men call “square” – which implies that he must have a sense of honor.

The foundation of it all is justice – the most masculine of virtues, and the only one in which no woman ever had a share.

Allied to it is reasonableness, another virtue that appeals to men when found in other men. It involves a number of related qualities, and most of all a sense of humor which throws a clear light of its own upon so many difficulties, and sets things in their true proportions, and shows how small the small things really are.

Then there is courage, without which man is not a man; and generosity, which really is an element of reasonableness; and with these, modesty, which, while it quietly conceals the other traits, does in the end enhance their value and increase the charm which they possess. And dignity, which many would not name or think of, is a most important element in the character of the man whom other men most like. For dignity is not to be confounded with its counterfeits – with stiffness or pomposity, or even with reserve. It is the touch of self-respect which exists in every fine character and which is never consciously assertive but which even the most careless spirit can feel and recognize.

 Men admire character.  Check.

What then is the conclusion? Men like in men these traits: the honor that ennobles; the justice that insures the right; the reasonableness that mellows and makes plain; the courage that proclaims virility; the generous instinct that disdains all meanness; the modesty that makes no boast; the dignity that wins respect; the fineness and the tenderness that know and feel. But when one thinks of it more carefully, may he not sum it up in just a single sentence, and accept it as truth, that all men like a gentleman?

Men admire in others the virtues they expect from themselves.  Check and double check.

The above came from an essay:
“What Men Like in Men”
By Rafford Pyke
Cosmopolitan Magazine, August 1902

I found it republished here.  Go read it.

I'm sure Vox could extrapolate some game related insights from the article.  I have only one to offer.  It is a universal truth that the female is attracted to the male (and the other way around).  The most important part of being a ladies man, is to be a man.  Do that first.  The ladies will follow.