All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.



Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!

12/25/2013

Honest Toy Disclaimers



Merry Christmas to you and yours!

It's BJW, so in keeping with the day:


* No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.

* Warning: This fad will disappear in 6 weeks.

* Caution: Care Bears do not actually care very much.

* Warning: This toy produces substantially less childish glee in real life than it does in the TV commercial.

* Do not purchase this toy at all. Put it back on the shelf! NOW!! Just walk away, timid little man.

* Do not stare at product. Hey! You're doing it now! Cut that out!!

* In case of breakage, scream until dad buys a replacement.

* Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously.

* Use as an actual terrorist device not recommended.

* Do not attempt to combine your Ultra Mega Warrior with your cat to make Ultra Mega Cat Warrior.

* NOTE: The makers of "Queen Amidala's Naboo Dream Palace" assume no responsibility for the quality of the movie which spawned it.
 
* Some assimilation required. Resistance is futile.

10 comments:

Susan said...

Back in the day when I was a rookie parent, I learned quickly about the reality of glee producing toys.Often, the box produced more fun then the contents did.

Lucky for my hubby and I, our two did not really go in for the fads that a lot of kids seem to like now. Legos was a favorite in our house with our son, while handmade dolls were a favorite with our daughter.

Res Ipsa said...

It's funny what kids end up liking the most, or being the most excited about out of the box, isn't what they end up playing with the most as time goes on.

Giraffe said...

My kids freaked out about getting new boots.

WaterBoy said...

We got my grandson (2yo) a play table with 4 chairs. Not only did he not take it out of the box, but he didn't even tear off the wrapping paper. He had more fun just standing on the wrapped box, jumping up and down.

I figure a few more years, and a trampoline will be just the ticket.

Susan said...

Funny you should mention trampolines Waterboy. When I was still a rookie parent, my oldest was about 5yo.
During a nasty winter day, stuck inside bored with everything, she started literally "climbing the furniture" in the LR.
Just hugging the wall, walking on the furniture.

She had so much energy, she just could not sit still.
So I went and grabbed my hubby's little exercise trampoline and set it in front of the TV.
All I said was "here you go", and left the room.
Less than 2 min later, I peeked in the LR and she was happily bouncing all her energy away.

WaterBoy said...

I was thinking that would be about the right age. Thanks for sharing that, Susan.

DoubleMindedMan said...

WB,

They have kid trampolines that have handles so the little ones can use them before they have full motor control

http://www.amazon.com/s/?_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&linkCode=ur2&pageMinusResults=1&suo=1388277164786&tag=amazprodand0f-20&url=search-alias%3Daps#/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_11?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=child%20trampoline%20with%20handle&sprefix=child+tramp%2Caps%2C241&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Achild%20trampoline%20with%20handle&sepatfbtf=true&tc=1388277168454

DoubleMindedMan said...

WB,

They have kid trampolines that have handles so the little ones can use them before they have full motor control

Amazon Children Trampolines With Handles

Sorry about that Res! Feel free to delete the mess I posted above!

Res Ipsa said...

Feel free to delete the mess I posted above!

Nah. It makes the thread look like it's more popular. :-)

WaterBoy said...

DMM: "They have kid trampolines that have handles so the little ones can use them before they have full motor control"

Hey, thanks, man. I'll definitely look at getting him one of those.