Blow Jobs in Hell?

Hugh Hefner died at age 91. 

Among his accomplishments is a Gunnies Book of Word Records accolade for having groped more silicon implants than any other living human being. Not really, but he could have had it, if he wanted it.

Much is being made of "the Hef's" taking $8,000 and building a multi-billion dollar business. They are talking about him being a "pioneer" and making an "impact" on the culture.  Hugh Hefner is even being credited with the sexual revolution.  He apparently helped bankroll the lawyers behind Roe V. Wade.  He promoted black entertainers.  Guess we ought to make him a saint or something.

I'm not going to pretend I've never seen a Playboy.  I have.  I don't ever remember reading any of the articles either.  I'm sure they have some in there.  At least everyone says they do.  I like naked women.  I am passionately pro-boobies.  I'm not such a hypocrite as to pretend I don't like sex, or that I think its somehow evil.  I don't think that at all.  I'm in favor of good old fashioned slip'n slide'n, belly slap'n, do it till you can't walk right for a week, sex. 

But reading the Hef's eulogies you'd think that someone great has passed.  I'm calling BS on that right now.  Hugh Hefner went to college and studied psychology.  Like a lot of college guys he was keen on sex, and he had a bit of perverted streak.  Looking back at college all I can say is, me too.

Hef's genius was he figured out that guys like to look at women. Yeah sure every guy knows that, including every guy born before 1953 when Playboy got its start.  So Hugh being the astute business man that he was sold guys magazines with glossy pictures of attractive women in various states of undress.  Guys everywhere bought millions of them.  Who'd of thunk?

I'd heard the story about the $8,000 to start Playboy before.  What I didn't know was where the first grand came from.  Anybody know?  Hugh got $1,000 big ones from his mother, the other $7,000 came from 40 other people.  Yep, mom was his single biggest investor. 

It may come as a surprise to some, but sex existed before porn.  Folks having been having sex since Adam and Eve.  There isn't a single move that's been tried in the back seat of a car that wasn't tried in the back of a wagon by our grandparents.  How do you think mom and dad got here? 

If I remember right, in my Sunday school class they taught us that being naked was God's idea from the word go.  God only had two rules back in the Garden: 1. don't eat that fruit, 2. have sex.  I believe it was stated as "Thou do it liketh the bunnies" in the King James.

If you judge a man by the good he's done, Hefner comes up short.  He made porn mainstream.  What good did that do?  We had sex before Hugh.  By all accounts it has always been popular.  Hefner made good money by making pictures available to horny guys.  Big deal.  We can get that and more on the internet for free.

Hefner's headstone should read:

Guys like porn.
I sold it to them.
The end.