All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!


Die for my Daughter

I have a good RL friend. He and his wife have 5 kids, 3 girls and 2 boys. All of the girls are nice looking blonds. Their oldest is an attractive young woman of about 23. When she was born there was a problem and her brain went without oxygen for 4 minutes. We're going to call her Blondie for this post.

Because of the situation surrounding her birth Blondie has always had developmental issues. If you look at her she is a normal attractive young lady, if you talk to her she is able to communicate at what you would assume to be a normal level of understanding. For all practical day to day social activities you would think her a normal 20 something of average height/looks/intelligence. But she isn't. She can't drive a car, as she lacks the concentration to focus for more than a few minutes at a time. Blondie can't handle many other day to day things that require a normal level of concentration or planning. Because of this her parents took legal control of her affairs and her person when she was very young. So even though she is now over 21 she is legally their ward and will be for life.

Now my buddy, her dad, we'll call him Tex, is the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet. If you did meet him you'd be friends in about 3 minutes and life long friends after about 15 minutes of talking with the man. He's one of the most laid back and likable men there is. One of the things I tease Tex about is that he needs to get a gun and start saving up for a bail fund so I can get him out of jail when his twin girls start liking boys. I've been kidding him about this for about 10 years and now that the girls are at that age. Normally he just jokes back with me and we enjoy our visit.

I brought the bail thing up excepting a friendly chat. He told me in as serious a way as I've ever seen, "no need for bail, I'm willing to die for my daughters". Then Tex told me a story that had recently happened about Blondie. Blondie likes boys, just as any normal 20 something girl is apt to. Being blond, slim and appropriately and attractively curved as a female should be, the boys have noticed her too. Tex has always let his daughter date and like any good dad he has set limits and taught his kids what is right and what is wrong and how to be with members of the opposite sex.

Problem is that one boy has been putting the pressure on Blondie to violate dad's limits and rules. He likes to remind her that she is over 21 and doesn't have to do what her daddy says. Tex found out about this situation and ended the relationship between Blondie and the boy (this boy being about 25). In my book this should get Tex's name in the hat for a great dad award. In the boy's book, Tex's name went right to the top of his "to do" list.

Now the "to do" list included a confrontation with Tex as a way of establishing who would be filling the slots on Blondie's dance card. So the boy shows up at Tex's job and pesters the receptionist till she gets Tex and he goes outside. I'm sure you can fill in the details of the encounter. The cops were called. The boys mom works for the Sheriffs department and everything seems to have been swept under the rug. I asked for details about how it went down. This is what Tex said:

"I am willing to die for my daughter, he wasn't. I don't care what it costs me, I'll go to jail or the grave, no one messes with my family". "When some boy comes along that is willing to die for my little girls, I'll give them in marriage but not till then." "Thats the way it was in the Bible times and it ain't gonna change at my house."


  1. Awesome. I dread the day I have to put that belief into practice. (Mine are only 6 and 10 years old now.)

  2. High risk. Glad he can back it up. Most men can't. he still needs a bail fund. Though he is willing to die for his daughter, being dead or in jail) removes all possibility to protecting them any further. In the modern world, you have to play the strategic game as well as the tactical game.

  3. Yeah, better to have someone disappeared than go to jail. You gotta be smart about your disposal of human trash.

    But if he DOES go to jail, what's their address?


  4. What a wonderful father and daddy.

  5. I agree with Spacebunny.

    And the young guy - I won't even call him a man - deserves to have his face pounded into the pavement.

  6. Mutly9:20 AM

    P. Hale is right about him needing a backup plan in this case. While I applaud the dad and agree with his thoughts, he is going up against the police dept here. That thin blue line also applies to folks like the mother that work for the dept. If he knows any cops personally he needs to have them over for a beer and get his side of the story out there.

  7. The problem that disappeared was the boys. My buddy didn't have one as far as I know. The boy went to Tex at work, so its hard to claim that Tex instigated anything. Plus the cops here tend to side with common sense for the most part.

    A girls dad won't let you see his daughter because you are trying to force her to do things she has said no to.

    You follow the man to work and make a fuss till he sees you.

    There is a confrontation. Cops are called. They listen to both sides. Dad seems like a well known and reasonable man with lots of friends. Boy seems like a hot head horndog looking to score. Cops have little girls too. Its not hard to see how this is going to play out, at least in WY.

  8. "Its not hard to see how this is going to play out, at least in WY."

    Throw in the "developmental issues" and any cop who can't see his way through this one should also be placed back under the permanent custody of his parents.

  9. farmer Tom8:57 PM

    I've made a similar promise to my daughters. They will be my daughters until I die. If and or when they get married and the guy starts beating on them, (hopefully I've trained them well enough not to marry that kind of human debris), I told them any man who hits one of my daughters and I find out about it is dead. I'll kill him, or beat him within an inch of his life, and promise to finish the job if it ever happens again.

  10. Front-runner for Father Of The Year.