Candy Store

As a boy grows into a man he learns about Candy Store.  At first the candy store is something he knows happens to exist.  It's really not important in his life, after all they look goofy, smell funny, act funny and aren't very good at playing army or ball.  He hears about Candy Store, but why bother? Something happens as he gets older, the talk form adults about Candy Store starts to get interesting.

At first he hears about Dad's Candy Store, how they met, what Dad liked about the Store, and what the Store liked about Dad.  There are stories about the purchase transaction negotiations and about how exciting the day was when they signed the purchase paper. The lesson learned is, this is what works for getting a Candy Store.  The boy goes to church and learns about the importance of signing the purchase paper before you get into the Store.  He learns that he can only ever have that first Candy Store for the rest of his life.  The lesson learned is he better pick carefully.

The boy gets older and he realizes that he REALLY NEEDS a visit to the Candy Store.  So he starts window shopping.  He knows the rules, no sampling the candy unless he buys the store first, and a man can only have one store in his life.  He spends all his spare time and money checking out Candy Stores.  He gets to know them.  They look funny, act funny, smell funny aren't any good at sports and he can't get enough.

He finds one that his parents agree is an excellent Candy Store.  It's got a solid foundation, a reputation for sturdiness, and a good roof.  Most importantly to the boy, he saw a glimpse of some truffles and can't wait for a taste.  The boy enters into earnest negotiations to buy it.  Eventually they reach a bargain.  He agrees to only shop at the store, and spend all that he has in time, money and energy on its up keep.  The Store agrees to supply the candy.  

Purchase day comes, they sign the papers and all their friends and family are happy for them. Finally its time to sample some candy.  It's awkward at first, no one has tried this recipe before, which is great, as far as the boy is concerned, but awkward for the candy maker.  There were some difficulties unwrapping the candy. Who knew the packaging had so many hidden clasps?  Even that is fun for the boy.  He gets the candy, its good.  He knows he likes it and looks forward to more tastes.

Time goes on.  The boy invests his time, money and life into the store.  The Candy Store is closed most of the time.  Not only that, but there are whole sections of shelves that he can't select candy from.  It gets to the point where the shop is only open every fifth Thursday and all that is available is stale milk chocolate miniatures which are handed over with poor service and a snarl.  A little variety would be appreciated but the candy maker insists on only using granny wrappers on the candy, because doing something different would be "uncomfortable".  Meanwhile the store makes more demands even though its closed.

The man knows that he has been cheated.  He can't get out of the deal.  The purchase papers are signed.  He learns that other men get to shop from all the shelves in a variety of different stores, whenever they want.  This sounds fantastic to him.  How can it be?  All he wants is some nicely wrapped truffles and a little juicy fruit on a regular basis.  He can't get that, even though he played by all the rules.  The players ignore the rules of the church but get all the candy they want.  It's not fair.

He learns what the Players are doing.  It boils down to being a more manly man and working on yourself.  He learns that Candy Stores are more generous with the goodies when they think the man is attractive to other Stores.  The man learns not to ask, beg or cry as a way of getting candy.  After all it didn't work before.  He learns what does work and does that instead.

Candy Stores are against men learning how to get the candy.  The candy store wants an indentured servant, not a eager and dedicated customer.  If men know what works, they will do that instead of paying for a new paint job or sweeping up in the kitchen.

Arielle, 

I got started on this topic because of you and Hedi.  I think its interesting to apply the concept of "Game" to marriage.  Christian men were created as men first.  They chose to become Christians.  The same with Christian women.  The basic facts of human sexuality and attractiveness don't change because of Christianity.  Christian sex develops a spiritual component as well as the physical one.   As far as I can tell your basic position is that men should do without adequate sex and "master their lust".  I've provided you with direct quotes from the Bible that say differently.

The fact is that certain behavior on the part of men encourages their women to want sexual intimacy.  I can see no Biblical reason for men not encouraging this.  If men doing the dishes turned wives into nymphomaniacs, husbands would have dishpan hands and a great big contented smile on their face. Men being more domesticated isn't what elicits the hot pants scenario in women.  Men being more manly does.  If you're a guy and need more sex, the most logical thing is to do what works, not what women say they want.  Most guys learn that what women say, and what they mean, and what will actually work are seldom the same thing.  The best option for a man is to ignore what the women says and wait and see what actually happens.

70% of what we say is non-verbal, 20% of what we say is tone; leaving 10% for the actual words to convey meaning.  If a man says: "Honey I need a blow job", the wife will process that bit of information in her head.  If his tone is whinny, she will filter the message accordingly.  If his non-verbal body language is limp, defeated, desperate and wimpy, that will convey further meaning.  What he is saying is; "I need sexual intimacy".  What she is hearing is: I'm a whinny, wimp of a boy-child, I'd like a little nooky, but I'm not likely to get it because I'm desperate because no women finds me attractive enough to invest 15 min of her time on my pleasure.  She is a female animal.  Nothing in her biology makes her want to mate with a weak example of the male sex.  This holds true even if she is a christian married to a christian man.

Same man and women.  The man has been being manly.  He approaches his women confidently.  He has done some service for her that she likes.  He has killed the big nasty spider that was on her counter.  The oil is changed in her car (which reminds me...). He is wearing the clothes she bought him for his birthday and the cologne she likes.  He has a plan, the kids are going to grandmas till Sunday.  He takes mom and kids to grandmas Friday night.  Instead of going home they go to a nice restaurant, then a hotel.  She wants to know whats going on.  He informs her that they are staying the weekend or until the manager throws them out for having wild, loud monkey sex.  She hasn't packed anything.  He hands her a little box and tells her its all she'll need to wear.

In which scenario is the man most likely to get his blow job?

If you said the second, you now understand why Christian men are interested in how/if game works better than non-game.  If a women wants a man to help out around the house vs strut around the house, all she has to do is make mad passionate love to him when he picks up his socks and does a load of laundry.  When he asks, "what brought this on"? Tell him that it gets your juices following when he helps out with the chores.  Next time he helps out reward him the same way.  Keep repeating the cycle of great sex as a reward for making you happy and he'll work himself to death for you with a smile on his face.