An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was
getting high time the boy gave some thought to choosing a profession. Like many
young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he
didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father
decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his
study table four objects:
1. A Bible,
2. A silver dollar,3. A bottle of whiskey,
4. And a Playboy magazine.
"I'll just hide behind the door," the old
preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school, I'll see
which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like
me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to
be a business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle,
he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.
And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine, he's going to be a
skirt-chasing womanizer."
The old man waited anxiously and soon heard his son's
footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy
tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the
objects on the table. He walked over to inspect them, looking at each for
several minutes. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the
bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.
"Lord have mercy!" the old preacher prayed.
"He's going into politics!!"
HAH! That's a good 'un.
ReplyDeleteI thought about replacing "old preacher" with Pastor Wiener.
ReplyDeleteI have a good off-color one from WaterGirl, but not sure how clean you want to keep the language.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead with it. It can't be that bad.
ReplyDeleteThe new fad among day spas for women was bathing in a tub of raw milk for an hour.
ReplyDeleteAfter a while, though, the spa operators discovered that some women were more susceptible to UTI infections from the raw milk, so they switched to pasteurized milk, instead.
More than a few clients were quite upset over the switch, and demanded the spas go back to raw milk. The spa operators decided to offer both options, and the women were content.
One day a new client came to the spa for her first milk bath, entered the private bathing room, disrobed, and settled down into the tub. The female attendant checked her spa record to see what her preference was in milk, and -- upon seeing she was new -- asked her, "Pasteurized?"
"No, just up to my tits", the woman replied.
That was funny.
ReplyDelete