How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?
By renaming it Trump University.
What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?
Hair Force One!
If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?
Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
Did you hear about the first executive bill that newly elected Trump passed, called the American telephone act?
You no longer have to press 2 for English.
Jeb Bush: "My brother kept us safe".
Donald Trump: "Yeah, from 9/11, Katrina, the Great Recession, and thousands of amputations from IEDs after illegally invading Iraq without an exit strategy."
There was absolute chaos on Capitol Hill this morning as Donald Trump signed an executive order changing the National Anthem to "ICE ICE Baby...".
Trump: "Foreign Policy?, if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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