Giving Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours my friends.

May you be blessed more this next year than you were this, and may your extra blessing be used to bless those around you.

The Secret of Bill’s Success

Back in his college days Bill Gates used to wander around the seamy side of Cambridge MA. Even in the brainy town that surrounded Harvard, Bill was something of a nerd. Forced to cruse the second hand stores for the 1950’s era pocket protectors and plaid fashion accessories he craved, Bill became a regular in pawn shops and at yard sales.

It was on one of these excursions from the Ivory Tower that Bill wandered into Habeeb's House of Pawned Crap and Estate Brokers. Bill saw what appeared to be a giant hookah in a box that had just came in. Thinking that getting random strangers to take a hit on the hookah might just be the ticket to getting some new friends, he bought it. Rushing home he began to polish it up.

That’s when it happened. A genie came out of the hookah. Apparently the genie got confused during the 60’s and wasn’t able to get back to his lamp during a raid on a frat party. This incredibly laid back and mellow genie offered Bill his three wishes.

Bill said, “I want all the money in the world, for all women to find me irresistible and a Pack Man arcade game.” The genie thought over his wish and said: “Sorry man, can’t do it”. “Well why not?” Bill asked, “Aren’t you a real genie?” “Sure man I’m a real genie, but some things aren’t possible”, he replied. “Like dig it man, you can’t every have ‘all the money in the world’ cause as soon as you do the man just prints more and everybody gets inflation”, the genie said. “Face it Bill you’re a nerd, all women are never going to find you irresistible, it defies the nature of the universe”. The genie continued, “man you have to adjust your expectations and stay true to your place in the cosmos”.

Bill thought this over for a bit. So he said, “OK this is what I wish for, I want to get credit for inventing the personal computer, I want a nickel for every time someone has to reboot it, a dime for every time it crashes and a quarter for every time someone gets a virus”. The genie, not knowing anything about computers agreed to the wish.

This is why Bill Gates has almost all the money in the world.

It is also why I haven’t been doing much blogging. My computer has been and still is giving me fits. It’s also why I have lost everyone’s email address.

Good Timing

A special note of thanks to my friends who served our country in the armed forces.  Thank you for your service.  From the Marine Corps Times:

The Marine Corps has recommended that a former corporal receive the Medal of Honor for braving a hail of enemy fire in September 2009 to pull the bodies of four U.S. troops from a kill zone in eastern Afghanistan, Marine Corps Times has learned.

Dakota Meyer, 22, of Greensburg, Ky., was recommended for the nation’s highest award for valor, according to a source with knowledge of the process, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Meyer was recommended for his actions on Sept. 8, 2009, near the village of Ganjgal in Kunar province. He charged into a kill zone on foot and alone to find three missing Marines and a Navy corpsman who had been pinned down under enemy fire for hours by about 150 well-armed insurgents. Already wounded by shrapnel before braving enemy fire, he found them dead and stripped of their gear and weapons, and carried them out of the kill zone with the help of Afghan soldiers, according to military documents obtained by Marine Corps Times.

As a side note, if this Marine recieves the Medal of Honor, he will be the first living Marine to do so in a generation.

Obama

I guess the evil empire just ran out of cash.

Hip Boots

First a hunting/shooting update.  Normally I would blog about my success.  Except I can't.  First opening day of elk was 74 degrees outside.  I saw no elk, but had a great 4 days of camping. 

Second, I took one whole day for antelope.  My shooting SUCKED.  Attempt on mature buck #1 resulted in a miss at less than 300 yards.  One day I will remember about shooting down hill and against a head wind.  Notice I said remember, not learn.  I already know what to do and have practiced the shot.  I just can't seem to remember not to screw it up.  I have no idea why I missed shot at doe #1.  No idea at all.  Not even a good guess.  Same thing goes for the 200 yard shot at doe #2.  Buck #2 (a baby buck barely 2 years old) was a double shoulder 1 shot kill at 225 yards with a 12mph cross wind and an extreme downhill angle.  168 grain Berger Bullets in a 7-08 Rem at 2600 fps was a new load for me this year (I'm still experimenting) they will more than get the job done.  As it turns out I had NO USABLE MEAT on either side of the front quarter of the buck.  Doe #3 presented not one, not two but three shoots for me.  I missed them all.  I have no idea why.  I changed guns at this point.  I had a sweet set up on a buck at 1,079 yards.  I've shot targets in the same exact place and NEVER missed.  1,079 would be a new personal best on a big game animal.  So I set up, checked the wind, ranged it again, got a great rest and missed it by TWO FEET!  I had no clue why.  So I had another go at another lope at 998 yards and missed.  Research latter proved that the scope had been bumped and was off.  Doe #4 was an easy 375 yrds and I missed.  I tried again at 450, and missed.  I got closer (about 80 yards) and made a solid hit.

For those of you keeping score that's attempts on 2 bucks and 4 does.  With one buck and one doe hanging in my garage.  It took me 11 shots to get it done at a little less than 7 hours.  Normally I'm done with antelope in less than an hour of hunting to fill two tags.  I'm not even keeping the bucks horns. The tenderloins however were delicious tonight for super.

I'm going to make a try for elk again this weekend, even though the heat wave is expected to continue.  Deer season opened yesterday in my elk unit so I'll buy a tag.

The election was today.  I voted.  There were no surprises here.  Our congress critter is a republican.  She won.  Yawn.  They seem to be making a big fuss in the news about our having a Democrat Governor and a Republican winning.  Its not a big deal.  We have term limits.  Gov Dave limited out.  The Republicans ran a candidate and the Democrats didn't, this isn't a big upset.  At least not in my book.  In fairness to Gov Dave, he was more conservative than most Repubs, at least outside of Wyoming.  He did a decent job when in office and was elected to the maximum number of terms.  What would have been big news is if Taylor Haynes would have won as a write in candidate.  If that would have happened we would have had a black man as governor, who ran to the right of the Constitution Party.  BTW I wrote him in.

In local races I stuck to my policy of either 1.)vote the challenger or 2.)vote for the lessor evil.  This year I actually had to vote Dem in a handful of races.  Don't hate me.  The reason was that the Repub incumbent is/was such a complete and total waste of oxygen that I couldn't vote for her, her and him.  That and there were no 3rd party options in those 3 races.  I hated to vote dem but face it, at some point even the dems couldn't screw the job up worse than these clowns. We've reached that point.  Hopefully we get someone new in those jobs and we get a new cohort of crooks in the county commissioners and other assorted offices that actually can be affected by my vote.

Halloween Pun

Ted Lawrence awakened from a deep sleep.

What was that noise? He could have sworn he just heard music coming from somewhere. But that was impossible. He was alone in the house.

There it was again, coming from outside the bedroom door. Familiar music that he couldn't place. It certainly wasn't coming from his stereo since there wasn't anything remotely like it in his extensive collection of cassettes and compact discs. He preferred rock but this was something else entirely. 

Suddenly, there was an outburst of laughter as if a big party was in full swing downstairs. Loud voices and hoots echoed off the walls as the volume increased. He clutched the sheets in fear, hauling them over his head to try to block out the noise coming from the empty house. Could he be dreaming? Was this all a figment of an overworked imagination?

No sooner had he asked himself these questions when the bedroom door flew open, embedding the knob in the freshly painted wall. He nearly jumped out of the sheets, and his skin, at the same time. What was that? His heart seemed to be looking for the easiest path out of his chest.

''Who's there?" he asked timidly. No answer. The racket continued unabated downstairs. I've got to be flipping out, he thought. Maybe a nervous breakdown. That had to be it. The house was empty and he was alone. But the music continued nonetheless. Um-pum-pum, um-pum-pum.

Trembling, he inched his way out of bed and moved toward the door. Laughter erupted as he crossed the floor. He whipped his head around to make sure no one was behind him. Downstairs, accordions and drums blasted an incessant beat into his terrified brain as he edged out into the hallway. Nothing. No lights, no flickering shadows. He had to be losing his mind.

That beat, repetitious and boring. An odd beat with the accent on the last half. Most unusual. He felt his way to the top of the stairs, not daring to turn on any lights for fear he might see something he really didn't want to confront. He peered into the darkness. Still as death, he thought, and quickly wiped the unfortunate choice of metaphor from his mind.

He made his way quietly down the stairs and reached for the switch. As his fingers searched, something cold and slimy clamped itself over his hand. He reeled back in horror as something laughed in his ear.  Then something glowing flashed in front of his face and flew up the stairs. A cold, thin tendril wrapped around his ankles and slithered up his leg. 

He was cemented to the floor. His eyes were wide with terror as the laughter and the music reached ear-splitting levels. Then it dawned on him. Of course. He had been so stupid. He should have stayed in bed, maybe then he would have had a chance. 

But now it was too late. A scream erupted from his tortured lips as he slipped to the floor. Um-pum-pum, um-pum-pum. That beat! It was pounding mercilessly into his very soul. He watched in dread fascination as one of his feet began to jerk back and forth in time to the music. They were inside his body now. He tried to form the word but could barely move his lips.

Polka-geist!