Have you ever wanted something so badly and then gotten to taste at least a part of the dream? Sure it may not be the whole dream but what you have is still good.
For the last four years I've been teaching the kids to pray for "God's best for their life". I've been doing that by praying it with them. I've even been praying it for myself. I even, very foolishly as it turns out (NEVER vow anything to God that you aren't wanting to do) said I'd do something that I DO NOT WANT TO DO. From my lips to His ears. I was made aware of a chance to do the very thing I don't want to do. But I said I would do it. So now despite a five day running battle with the flu and a early morning appointment, I'm still up. (Thats not bragging BTW, I tried to sleep on it, my conscience won't let me.) I'm just keeping my word in hope that this was some kind of spiritual test and that I will be rewarded with being able to get the STUFF I WANT for passing it.
"God, please give me, Your best, my way." has been what I've been saying all along. I realize this now, because I made a vow to go through with something that I don't want to do, and have never wanted to do. I didn't even want to take the first step, which is all I did tonight. It might not even pan out or require any further action on my part. Now I'm worried that it might maybe turn out to be the very thing I have to do. Giving up, "My way" for "His Best", is a lot easier said than experienced.
No comments:
Post a Comment