Daddy Blogging

I've only been a dad for a few short years, but I think I've discovered a totally effective parenting technique that you need to know about.  This method of getting kids to do what you want works so well I almost wish I would have thought of it sooner.

We have a couple of kids that have developed into what some might call "picky eaters".  I feel this has happened due to Mrs Ipsa's easy going, "let the kids eat food they like" attitude.  As opposed to my, "eat it or go hungry" theme or the "no dessert until your plate is clean" that I was brought up on. 

Today for lunch here at Chez Ipsa; I was offering the Mrs Ipsa approved, healthy turkey brat for lunch.  I asked the kids what they thought about that.  They hated the idea.  Turkey brats are, according to the more enlightened members of my culinary critics, "yucky".  I desperately sought out ways to make the meal more tantalizing.  I offered innovative side dishes such as the Ruffles Potato chip (NOT a Mrs Ipsa approved item). The lack of enthusiasm was astounding.  They wanted the standard grilled cheese.  It seems that grilled cheese is the only thing kids can eat between the hours of 11:30 and 12:30 in the afternoon that isn't "yucky".

Sick of the infamous grilled cheese, I resolved to do battle and eat my brats.  Griding up my loins with tongs I marched out to fire up the grill.  That was when the youngest, Little Miss saw the package of sausages in my hand.   She came running across the yard to ask me what I was doing.  Then she started squealing with delight, "its hot dogs"!  "We're not having brats, they're hot dogs, yeah"!  This went on for several minutes.  The boy came over and joined her in celebration.  When they were finished, Little Missed asked, "are we having hot dogs for lunch daddy"?

At that moment I had a moral decision to make.  Do I tell my kids the truth, that turkey brats is what we're eating for lunch, and fight the battle of the taste buds; or do I take the easy way out?  In that tiny little piece of time a ton of thoughts passed through my mind.  Questions of ethics, my Christian upbringing, the importance of always telling the truth, and the all important "if I lie now, will they trust me on more important stuff latter", all rushed through my mind.  I made my choice.

I'm proud to say that, I calmly explained the difference between brats and hot dogs and my children said they understood and enjoyed them just as much, I lied like a dog.  "Yes honey I'm making hot dogs, just for you", I said with a big smile on my face.  So as long as you're not worried about little things like, burning in hell or having your children trust your judgement and integrity latter in life, I recommend lying through your teeth as an effect tool for parenting.