These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:
I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.
Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
Its best for employers that I not work with people.
You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.
As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.
Marital status: often. Children: various.
Finished eighth in my class of ten.
Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.