All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.



Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!

10/17/2012

Real Resume and Cover Letter Excerpts

Maybe this is why I've been having such a hard time getting a better job:

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

Its best for employers that I not work with people.

You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.

As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.

Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.

Marital status: often. Children: various.

Finished eighth in my class of ten.

Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

3 comments:

  1. Most jobs dont need any resume at all. Just an application and convincing the boss you know how to do the work.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Most jobs dont need any resume at all. Just an application and convincing the boss you know how to do the work.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hah,good ones.

    ReplyDelete