All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!


Unfit Mother

The office next to mine hired a 19 year-old kid back in August.  It's a strictly part time job that maybe involves working up to 24 hours a week.  Most of that time is done when I'm not around. So I almost never see this kid.

I hear about the kid.  The company next door is almost exclusively women and has been since I've been working for my employer.  Which means most days I get to hear about everything.  The way I was first told about this kid the term used was "he/she".

To be fair this person does remind me a bit of Pat the sexually ambiguous character from SNL's skits. The kid has some things stacked against him.  He is over weight.  He dresses in baggy cloths.  He is a late bloomer, and his voice hasn't deepened as much as most guys.  He even wears a black "I (heart) Haters" ball cap.  The worst thing is that he has an unusual name.  It's a girls name.

Apparently his mother saw a TV show that had a male character on it with this female name, a very female name.  Think "A Boy Named Sue" without the masculine toughness.  She decided that her baby just HAAAD to have this name, it didn't matter that he was a boy.

Sure his mom didn't know he would have a heart problem that would result in a pacemaker and several hospital stays be fore he turned 16.  She didn't know that this would result in his having a hard time with his weight and getting a slow start maturing.  She knew she was giving a boy a girl's name.  Even in the best of circumstances she was making his life harder than it needed to be.  As it turns out mom's special method of picking a name has turned the boy's life into a living hell.


  1. Giraffe12:04 PM

    So help him out. Think up a nickname like Killer, or Spike. He can insist everyone call him that.

  2. WaterBoy12:47 PM

    I like Giraffe's idea. It can even be from another TV/movie character, like "Blade" or "Terminator". Or find some characteristic that he embodies and go from there.

  3. WaterBoy12:49 PM

    What kind of vehicle does he drive?

  4. There is a short version of his name that is masculine. I've told him to only use that. I also talked to him about going to the gym.

    The good news is he is up for an apprenticeship job with a local company. Its a 100% male environment.

    He told me that when he gets some money together he is going to legally change his name. This has really upset his mother. I think she is trying to guilt him into not doing it. Life is too short to be saddled with a foo foo name that hurts his own self esteem and the way other people look at him. He's old enough to change that now and I'm encouraging him to do it.

  5. What kind of vehicle does he drive?

    A truck.

  6. WaterBoy12:55 PM


    Any of these would be suitable nicknames, if applicable.

    "Ford", probably not so much.

  7. Giraffe12:57 PM

    That boy named Sue was a bad dude. Part of being a man is not worrying about stuff like that.

  8. Susan1:13 PM

    Women who deliberately saddle their kid with stupid names that the other kids will make fun of deserve not only a total ass kicking themselves, but to be totally mocked as a parent/human. This is just cruelty IMO.

    Just look at those stupid celebs who give proudly give their own kids names like Apple, Peaches, Blue Ivy and North. Even if they go to private school, they are still going to be seriously mocked.

    She might as well have pre-signed him up for therapy.

    Bravo to you Res for trying to help the kid and give him an idea what masculine influence is.

    By the by, I can relate to this in a way. My stepmom told me once that when she was young and foolish, she named her oldest daughter Twinkle Dee because she thought it was pretty. Well Twinkle Dee legally changed it to Chris at the first possible opportunity.

  9. I knew a guy like that who's name was Pat, I called him bubba. "When I walked into a room, "Hey bubba, hows it going?" He liked being called bubba, and a few others started as well.

  10. Twinkle Dee

    That is just bad parenting. Do people just forget what it was like being a kid as soon as they graduate high school?

    I get kids with ethnic names that are common to their culture but sound odd to Americans. As far as I'm concerned that's a case of some harm, no foul. Most other kids/people will see that the kid is from a different culture and "get" the name.

  11. Waterboy,

    I think its a Chevy. Rhymes with heavy.

    It's kinda too bad that I'm only going to be around him once a week or so. I suppose that's better than nothing. At least I'm going to be able to help him fight the image of being a transgendered "her", which is what his female co-workers were telling people.

    File this under women are nut jobs:

    His boss (28 year old divorcee, one kid, live in boy friend) has started the "flirt to fix him" program. She has been sending mixed messages of a semi sexual nature trying to get him to bust a move on her. He is turned off by the middle aged and slightly flabby overtures. The more he pulls back, the more she pursues. The whole time she is playing up the transgender rumor with the others girls. I think the whole sexually ambiguous thing must trigger some sort of try harder mechanism with females. I saw him on Saturday with a girl who despite being a little heavy was a solid 5 on the Ispa scale. She was acting very into him. So he seems to be working what he's got.

  12. John Wayne comes to mind. A quintessential name change and a moniker to go with it - the Duke.

  13. Giraffe8:13 AM

    Most parents choose stupid names anyway. I hate trendy names. I hate names made up out of thin air to be cute. I hate alternative spellings just to be different.

    I prefer a solid traditional name that is preferably found in the Bible.

    I failed my own standard on the first kid, as we simply named her Abby instead of Abigail and calling her Abby for short.

  14. Susan1:23 PM

    The other one that gets my goat are the regular names, but with "cutesy" spellings. Those moronic parents have condemned their kid to spending the rest of his/her life having to either spell the name, or live with their name misspelled, which I think can be worse.

    I believe my stepsister went by the name of Dee throughout her school career Res.

    When I got my first job and the boss asked me how I wanted to be addressed, I immediately and firmly said Susan. Having had to share my name with at least 4 other girls in the same grade and school, I never got to use my own name until I hit adulthood.

  15. Giraffe,

    At least you picked a normal name.


    I can't imagine getting stuck with a name not of my liking. I always made it a point to learn how to say the names of the foreign kids at school. I'd ask them to repeat their names till I got it right. They normally would want me to give up because I wasn't always a quick learner. After I nailed it, they were grateful. I never would call someone by their Americanized name, even when everyone else was. Looking back I think that doing that one thing made me friends with those kids and with the ones who saw me do it.