I don't know if this is of interest to anyone but I'd like your input into the situation. Because of a social connection, I've made the acquaintance of a young female who has just turned 20. She recognizes her need to make significant changes in her life and on my advice she has made some changes and is working on others.
For purposes of the case study I will name her Ms. Black.
Ms. Black is a white 20 year old female. She has tried smoking pot but does not enjoy illegal drug use and is anti recreational drugs. She does smoke tobacco and drink alcohol. She is about 5ft tall and weighs well over 200lbs. Although well rounded her facial features are of average to slightly under average attractiveness. She has long hair and a sizable bust, perhaps a size H. I believe this helps account for her N=23.
Ms Black grew up in a rural town, population 5,000. Her mother exemplifies hypergamony. Her father abandoned her mother early in pregnancy. Given the mothers hypergamous sexual history he may not have even known she was pregnant at the time. By all accounts the father paid child support but never saw his child before her 16th birthday. He is not involved in any meaningful way in her life. The only source of a stable family life was the maternal grandfather. The mother spent most of Ms. Blacks formative years pursuing her own interests at the expense of raising her daughter.
Until recently Ms Black had a sizable herd of beta/gamma orbiters as well was a heram of casual booty calls. Some of these males lived with her on and off or would stick around for "sleep overs" lasting a few days at a time. Several weeks ago she complained to me about her unhappiness with her life and the "lack of good men". She has stated that what she wants out of life is a husband and family and that her desire is to be a stay at home mother.
About 3 weeks ago she started following my advice on several topics. First, she eliminated the gamma orbiters and her harem. Second, her mother is no longer living in her apartment with her. The last of her male "roommates" is set to move out on the 15th. She has since gotten a female roommate. In general she is removing the negative influences from her life. She is being successful in losing weight.
Ms Black is aware of "game" concepts as they relate to female behavior. I doubt that she has any concept of "game" as psychosexual manipulation. She acknowledges that her past behavior makes future failure in her relationships likely and that her "statistic" (high N value) as she calls it, is a major life problem for her.
Since she began making changes in her lifestyle she has met a young man, Mr. Plaid. Mr. Plaid may be Mr. Right and she is interested in finding out if he is, and more importantly making it work and not sabotaging the relationship with her hypergamony. Mr. Plaid is aware that she has a past and has stated he does not want to know her N. His N = 2. Mr. Plaid was raised by the state. He works as a roughneck. Recently he has began attending a "cowboy" church on his days off. Ms. Black attended church when she was a child but has no interest in the subject as an adult, and appears basically opposed to the idea of church.
One of her gamma orbiters sent her a text stating he did not want to "lose her". Mr Plaid was working and not available, so she unwisely restarted an emotional relationship with the orbiter. She told me about the situation. Because of my response, she is more aware that her hypergamous pattern of behavior is repeating itself.
Thus far Mr. Plaid and Ms Black have not had sex with each other. I advised Ms Black to wait for marriage, regardless of who the man may be and so far she agrees with that advice.
What would your advice be, in general terms, of how Ms Black can over come her hypergamony and have a successful monogamous marriage?
What steps should she take to get to that goal?
After marriage what steps should she take to build a solid relationship with her husband and guard against unfaithfulness?
What are any other side issues that I may not have addressed but should?