Happy excuse to drink Mexican beer day. Today is the one day a year that it is cool to be Mexican in America. Seriously today it is cool to be Mexican because today is Cinco De Mayo. For those of you reading the last 3 words in that last sentence and wondering what "cinco" is and why its in your mayo, have a Corona. This too will pass. Corona btw was regarded in Mexico as a women's beer. It became popular in the US because Tom Cruise was seen drinking them in Top Gun.
Today as I mentioned, is the one day it is cool to be Mexican in America. Go ahead and break out your finely tuned multi-cultural skills. Order a burrito, nacho's or taco while drinking your imported beer and tequila. Incidentally Mexicans have many wonderful dishes in their culinary repertoire, Americans can't pronounce them, but that doesn't take away from the quality of the food. It just keeps us from experiencing something better than Taco Bell.
Go into an ethnic themed restaurant. If its an Asian eatery you can order by number. "I'll have a number 14 and some hot and sour soup please". They will bring you something wonderful and not curse you for your inability to speak Cantonese. Actually most Asians would rather you not pronounce their dishes. They don't like that funny face you get when you say, "I'd like some chow yuc and som young dong". They know why they are smiling politely, you sound like a retard trying to speak their language. They don't get why you take pleasure in asking for an extra side of dong sauce.
The French know their food is good, at least compared to any English speaking nation. They despise you for not speaking French, because you are not as good as they are. In France, the superiority of all things French is an universal law, sort of like gravity, except the law of gravity may have exceptions.
Go into a good Mexican restraint, order something that isn't deep fried or wrapped in a tortilla. You aren't going to be able to pronounce it. Which is why you probably never order it. Yes the waiter is looking down at you while pretending to be deferential. That's OK because on May 5th we celebrate the Mexican army beating the French. At least you didn't ask to puk som dong.
Of course everyone beats the French Army. The only time the French win is when a.) they are lead by someone who isn't French, of b.) America is involved in the war effort. The reason we like the Mexicans over the French, isn't just because they beat the French. When you go to French Restaurant you pay $100 for a salad made from ditch weeds, three frog legs and a glass of white wine that was filtered through a Frenchmen's sock before being funneled into a fancy bottle. You go home hungry, with a headache and the knowledge that even though you tipped $250 on a $100 dinner, you still somehow didn't do enough.
Compare that to dinner in a good Mexican joint. The chips and salsa are free. The wait staff are friendly. For $30 bucks you get 3 beers and a shot or two, a great big plate of food and the staff smiles and is nice to you. They don't expect a big tip. If you leave one, they love you and next time you come in they remember and treat you even better.
So happy Cinco de Mayo. Celebrate. Enjoy yourself. Please respect yourself enough to not drink Corona. Have a Dos Equis instead. Try the barbacoa, cabrito, or something in a Oaxacan Mole Sauce. You'll be glad you did.