All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.



Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!

10/14/2015

BJW End of Season


What ancient land is known as the "Cradle of Moose Civilaization?"
Moosopotamia


A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a hilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, “What are we going to do?” “Nothing,” said the hunter husband. “The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”


What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? “Quack! Quack! Quack!”


What is the best way to hunt bear? With your clothes off


The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, “I don’t get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were unable to make service because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer.” One hunter groaned, “Well, it worked. They re all safe.”


Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read “BEAR LEFT” so they went home.


Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, “You skin this one while I go and get another!”


Two guys were out hunting, but they weren’t getting any ducks. “What do you think the problem is?” one man asked his companion. “I dunno,” came the reply, “Maybe we aren’t throwing the dog up high enough.”


If you take an infinite number of hillbillies, and put each in a pickup truck.  Next give them each a shotgun and an infinite number of rounds.  Tell them to go out and shoot at any highway sign that they see, eventually they will produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.

2 comments:

  1. WaterBoy12:56 PM

    Don't know how you keep finding so many gems like these. Thanks again for the laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Google and some editing.

    The elk scratching himself was pretty good. I wonder if he tried that after the velvet came off.

    ReplyDelete