All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!


BJW- So I'm Stuck for Ideas

Ten common fishing terms explained

Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.

Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).

Line - Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.

Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.

Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.

Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish.

A man was on the water for his weekly fishing trip.  He began his day with an 8-pound bass on the first cast and a 7-pounder on the second.  On the third cast he had just caught his first ever bass over 11 pounds when his cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.  The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was, and that he'd be there as soon as possible.  As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best day ever on the water.

He decided to get in a couple of more casts before heading to the hospital. He ended up fishing the rest of the morning, finishing his trip with a stringer like he'd never seen, with 3 bass over 10 pounds.   He was jubilant.

Then he remembered his wife.  Feeling guilty, he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your fishing trip didn't you!  I hope you're proud of yourself!  While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself on the pond, your wife has been anguishing in the ICU!  It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more than likely the last fishing trip you ever take! For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care.  And you'll be her care giver forever!"

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

The doctor then chuckled and said, "I'm just pulling your leg.  She's dead. What'd you catch?"

Mrs Baker wanted to go ice fishing. She had read several books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary equipment together, she made her way out onto the ice.

After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Frighteningly, from up above, a voice boomed, 'There are no fish under the ice.' Startled, Mrs Baker moved farther down the ice, poured herself a large coffee, and began to cut yet another hole.

Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, 'There are no fish under the ice.' Mrs Baker, now became very concerned so she moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and began again to cut her ice-hole.

The voice rang out once more, 'There are no fish under the ice.' Mrs Baker, stopped, looked upwards and said, 'Is that you, Lord?'
The voice replied, 'No, this is the Ice-Rink Manager.'


  1. WaterBoy12:14 AM

    I heard the ice-fishing woman was a blond....

    1. Now Susan's going to get you.

    2. Are you kidding? Some of the funniest dumb blonde jokes are because I know enough blondes that I realize they aren't really true. That ice fishing was a good one.

      I love a good dumb blonde joke. Keep them coming. I think the dumbest women around are the ones with multicolor hair that doesn't include blonde.

      Oh and I love the evil look on the face of that raccoon. It is on like Donkey Kong.

    3. Susan,

      What color is your hair? I thought you said you were a blond.

    4. WaterBoy4:12 PM

      Speaking as the husband of a hairstylist, Res, I can tell you that generally speaking, asking a woman her natural hair coloring is a bit of a faux pas.

      As the saying goes, only her hairdresser knows for sure.

    5. Anonymous10:23 PM

      I'm sure Clareal could be an answer but I thought she said she was a blond. Besides as long as she can't track my IP address I should be safe.

      Res Ipsa

    6. Susan7:26 PM

      Nope, I am not blonde. Husband is though.

      When I was a child, during a summer of playing outside, my brown hair would look almost dark auburn when the sun hit it just right. And all my earliest photos show me with reddish hair. To this day though, my hairdresser finds the stray orange hair among the brown.

      When I was in my early twenties, Bo Derek said she wished that she was brunette. She said that men might like to romance blondes, but it is the brunette they took home to mom. Cured me of ever wanting blonde hair.

  2. WaterBoy8:25 PM

    More fish stories: 109-year-old smallmouth bass record in Michigan broken.

    Now THAT'S a big fish!