Baby Got Back

Cause I can’t post on politics all the time.

Finally some government grant money wasted on useful scientific endeavors. Researchers in England wanted to find and answer to the question “Have you got the definitive derriere?”

The magical figures are (S+C)*(B+F)/T = V. Though the equation looks rather complicated, it is, according to the scientist, simple.

It assesses shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry – all factors that add up to the bottom line.

S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom,
C represents how spherical the buttocks are,
B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while
F records the firmness.
V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and
T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite.

Now if the Brits could master another scientific equation (B*V)+T=GOH

Where:

B=Toothbrush,
V=Velocity of brushing,
T=Teeth,
GOH=Good Oral Hygiene

They’d be all set.

What I want to know is, where do I apply for the research grant to determine the perfect boobies?