All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!


Unsolicited Advice for Cynthia McKinney

Dear Congresswomyn,

God only knows why the people of Georgia sent you back to DC. Maybe it was because they don’t like you either. If you’re in congress they only see you when you’re home pimping votes.

I’m sorry did that sound racist? Apparently everything is racist to you, unless it’s about those dirty Jews your father hates so much. Did the apple fall far from the tree? Is that just political posturing to scam some cash from your Arab friends? Here’s some advice that is if you can put down your copy of “O” long enough to take it.

  1. First call another press conference. Then admit on national TV that the cop did nothing wrong and that he was just trying to do his job. Apologize to him and the capital police. If you want, explain that you were gabbing on the cell and didn’t hear him trying to talk to you. You can even tell everyone that as a black person you’re genetically inclined to violence and hundreds of years of oppression by whitey caused you to hit a uniformed cop. Racist America will believe you.
  2. Then ask everyone, including the cop to forgive you for being self-absorbed and inconsiderate.
  3. Promise to start wearing your “Members Pin” so the cops can tell that despite your appearance and behavior that you’re not another DC crack whore, but a elected whore who’s supposed to bypass security. I’m sorry I should have said “hoe”. I’m trying to be racially sensitive.

America has a long history of forgiving people who own up to their mistakes and accept responsibility for their actions. If you fess up and then shut up, this whole thing will blow over in a week. If you keep running your gums about how racist cops are trying to profile based on your getto slut, homeless-nigga-style-fro, expect them to keep pushing for legal action.

You broke the law. You pissed off the cop. You pissed off the department. You’re in the process of pissing off the public. Stop while you’re behind. As it is now the only way the cop can save his career and save face is to have his day in court, and win.

As a oppressed womyn of color, beaten down by ages of prejudice, I would think you’d have learned how to say “I’m sorry officer”, by now.

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