All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!


Things My Mother Taught Me

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -
I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you;
would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times -
Don't exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents and good things to eat
like you do!"
My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until your father gets home."

1 comment:

  1. Susan2:59 PM

    I will admit, my brothers thought the osmosis lesson was a real head scratcher when they were boys. Contortion would have been too.

    I think I heard the "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out" from an old Bill Cosby routine.