All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.
Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!
1/16/2013
Only Puns
I have a friend whose sense of humour enjoys only jokes that exploit the
different possible meanings of a word or words that sound alike but have
different meanings.
Grod and Helga had a wonderful life. After they were married, Grod opened a bakery, which Helga helped him run. They eventually had two daughters, Ivy and Wisteria. The girls helped out in the bakery, business was good, and the family had a fun and joyful life.
In the course of time, as Wisteria grew older and more attractive, young suitors would come to the bakery to woo the young lass. Ever protective of his daughter, Grod would chase off the less desirable men, and eventually settled on a fine young gentleman of the aristocracy. Before long, the young couple were married and Wisteria moved out of the family home and into her husband's mansion. Such a fine place it was, with towering walls, stone fireplaces, and a magnificent garden complete with a hedge maze on the grounds of the estate.
Not long after, Grod came down with a debilitating disease of the brain that left him mostly addled. Though he was in fine health otherwise, he could no longer remember the recipes for making his bread and other goods. Wisteria convinced her mother Helga to move them both into the estate where she could better care for her poor father, with Ivy taking over the running of the bakery. To keep Grod occupied, Wisteria had him trim the hedges in the garden maze, a simple task that he could easily handle and to which he quickly took a liking.
One day, back at the bakery, a man of Grod's age came in and inquired about his old friend from long ago. Ivy informed him that he no longer worked at the bakery.
Not yet, but I'm still working on that shower project. It got delayed by another weekend because WaterGirl sprang a surprise 50th birthday party on me and brought in my folks and my brother (whom I hadn't seen in ~8 years) from out of town. Loved seeing them all, but then it completely wrecked my plans to finish the shower that weekend.
Then the next weekend, I had to go install a new outlet, switch, and garbage disposal at my son's place. And play with my grandson (hey, he was already there). More time down the drain, albeit time well-spent.
And how's your basement project coming along?
By-the-by, I was invited on a fishing trip to Canada in the June-ish time frame. Trout, walleye, and Northern. Any recommendations on tackle? I'm not quite ready to do flys, yet, so I'm looking for a decent spincasting rig and haven't bought anything in the last...oh...35 years or so. What's good on the market, nowadays? Only brand I can recall from the Dark Ages of my youth is Zebco.
Done. I hired it out. Had to it was a big job. It turned out great. I love it.
My favorite way to fish walleye is with minnows on a jig head, and I do tie on a stinger hook.
For pike a daredevil is good as are the willow leaf spinners.
Canadian trout fishing can mean a lot of different things. Stream fishing is a different game than lake trout fishing. If you’re going after lakers: try trolling a meaps spinner with a minnow hooked on the end. If you’re stream fishing and not wanting to fly fish, try leaches or egg sacks if it’s during the spawn. Personally, I think flies are the only way to stream fish trout.
I like medium rods six to eight feet long with a good casting action. I don’t have any particular brand that I favor.
Have you decided on a place to go? If not, I have a solid recommendation for you.
The friend who invited me has a site already, somewhere far north of Regina. Should I see if there's some extra room for another fisherman? He might be interested in other sites, too.
He's looking to buy a cabin on a lake up there (so, lake trout), and wants to know if I am interested in going in on it with him. I said I'd like to see the place first, hence the trip. It's a heckuva long way to go for a fishing trip, but there's undoubtedly some great fishing there from the trophies they came back with. And even if I don't end up going in on the cabin, I can still use the gear down here on weekends.
And congrats on the basement. That's one honey-do down and X more to go.
"Should I see if there's some extra room for another fisherman?"
I'd love to go more than you can imagine. I don't see how I can afford it. I know its a cheap trip but things are kinda tight. Heck I haven't even been able to come down to raft the last couple of years.
Can I talk you into getting me a couple of cubans?
Why do you punish us?
ReplyDeleteA WaterBoy original:
ReplyDeleteGrod and Helga had a wonderful life. After they were married, Grod opened a bakery, which Helga helped him run. They eventually had two daughters, Ivy and Wisteria. The girls helped out in the bakery, business was good, and the family had a fun and joyful life.
In the course of time, as Wisteria grew older and more attractive, young suitors would come to the bakery to woo the young lass. Ever protective of his daughter, Grod would chase off the less desirable men, and eventually settled on a fine young gentleman of the aristocracy. Before long, the young couple were married and Wisteria moved out of the family home and into her husband's mansion. Such a fine place it was, with towering walls, stone fireplaces, and a magnificent garden complete with a hedge maze on the grounds of the estate.
Not long after, Grod came down with a debilitating disease of the brain that left him mostly addled. Though he was in fine health otherwise, he could no longer remember the recipes for making his bread and other goods. Wisteria convinced her mother Helga to move them both into the estate where she could better care for her poor father, with Ivy taking over the running of the bakery. To keep Grod occupied, Wisteria had him trim the hedges in the garden maze, a simple task that he could easily handle and to which he quickly took a liking.
One day, back at the bakery, a man of Grod's age came in and inquired about his old friend from long ago. Ivy informed him that he no longer worked at the bakery.
"Oh?", said the man. "Where is he now?"
"Grod works in Wisteria's maze", Ivy replied.
"Why do you punish us?"
ReplyDeleteBecause Nate quit. If I don't Waterboy would be left to his own devices and we can't have that can we?
Trust me...the world is better off if I can channel my nefarious thinking into bad shaggy dog stories than into more destructive activities....
ReplyDeletedestructive activities....
ReplyDeleteDo you have another remodeling project in the works?
Not yet, but I'm still working on that shower project. It got delayed by another weekend because WaterGirl sprang a surprise 50th birthday party on me and brought in my folks and my brother (whom I hadn't seen in ~8 years) from out of town. Loved seeing them all, but then it completely wrecked my plans to finish the shower that weekend.
ReplyDeleteThen the next weekend, I had to go install a new outlet, switch, and garbage disposal at my son's place. And play with my grandson (hey, he was already there). More time down the drain, albeit time well-spent.
And how's your basement project coming along?
By-the-by, I was invited on a fishing trip to Canada in the June-ish time frame. Trout, walleye, and Northern. Any recommendations on tackle? I'm not quite ready to do flys, yet, so I'm looking for a decent spincasting rig and haven't bought anything in the last...oh...35 years or so. What's good on the market, nowadays? Only brand I can recall from the Dark Ages of my youth is Zebco.
And how's your basement project coming along?
ReplyDeleteDone. I hired it out. Had to it was a big job. It turned out great. I love it.
My favorite way to fish walleye is with minnows on a jig head, and I do tie on a stinger hook.
For pike a daredevil is good as are the willow leaf spinners.
Canadian trout fishing can mean a lot of different things. Stream fishing is a different game than lake trout fishing. If you’re going after lakers: try trolling a meaps spinner with a minnow hooked on the end. If you’re stream fishing and not wanting to fly fish, try leaches or egg sacks if it’s during the spawn. Personally, I think flies are the only way to stream fish trout.
I like medium rods six to eight feet long with a good casting action. I don’t have any particular brand that I favor.
Have you decided on a place to go? If not, I have a solid recommendation for you.
The friend who invited me has a site already, somewhere far north of Regina. Should I see if there's some extra room for another fisherman? He might be interested in other sites, too.
ReplyDeleteHe's looking to buy a cabin on a lake up there (so, lake trout), and wants to know if I am interested in going in on it with him. I said I'd like to see the place first, hence the trip. It's a heckuva long way to go for a fishing trip, but there's undoubtedly some great fishing there from the trophies they came back with. And even if I don't end up going in on the cabin, I can still use the gear down here on weekends.
And congrats on the basement. That's one honey-do down and X more to go.
"Should I see if there's some extra room for another fisherman?"
ReplyDeleteI'd love to go more than you can imagine. I don't see how I can afford it. I know its a cheap trip but things are kinda tight. Heck I haven't even been able to come down to raft the last couple of years.
Can I talk you into getting me a couple of cubans?