All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.



Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!

3/13/2014

Another Thing Comming

It's spring time and a young man's thoughts turn to getting his tally whacker wet in some suburban bimbo's pink parts.  It happens every year.  Boy meets girl.  The girl is a tramp.  The boy gets lucky. 

A teenaged boy that disrespects a man enough to screw his dumb-slut daughter in her bed room with the girls dad at home, probably disrespects him enough not to listen to what that dad has to say.  That is a very poor attitude to have when dad has a gun pointed at you and the slut you've been screwing starts claiming that she doesn't know you or how you got in her room.  This is a very bad time to make any sudden movements.  Unfortunately you've all ready proven to possess a substandard level of intelligence in the first place.  We can only hope he didn't knock her up before her old man made the world a better place
Police tell FOX 26 reporter John Donnelly that the father was notified that there was someone in his daughter's bedroom by one of his other children.
The father then went into the girl's bedroom and discovered the 17 year old male in bed with his 16 year old daughter.  The daughter denied knowing who the boy was.
A confrontation between the father and boy started.   The boy apparently wasn't listening to the father's commands and reached for something.   It ended with 17 year old being shot and killed at the scene.
The 16 year old girl later admitted to investigators that she did know the boy and had let him into the home.
The father's was taken by ambulance from the home for treatment of an unrelated medical situation.
Let me analyze this situation for all you young bucks out there.  There are some important things you need to know before you get lucky.
  1. If a girl's father lives in the home with his kids, especially if he is married to their mother, he is what we call "a good guy".
  2. Good guys don't like their daughters being used as a sperm receptacle for random boys.
  3. Good dad's are going to protect their family from threats.
  4. Any girl with moral standards low enough to sneak you into and screw you in her parents home, knowing that they are home, has low enough moral standards to lie about it when she gets caught.
  5. She is going to lie.  Lying is one of the automatic first responses that a female will use when she finds herself in an unpleasant situation.
  6. If you are in another mans house, unannounced and uninvited by him, you are automatically a threat.
  7. If the man with the gun every catches you in his daughters room, in the middle of the night, in a state of undress, he knows what you were doing.  Even if you didn't do it yet.  Do not insult his intelligence.
  8. If the man with the gun tells you to do something, do it.
  9. If the man with the guns tells you to not do something, don't do it.
  10. If the man with the guns says don't move, and you keep moving, he is with in his rights to shoot your sorry ass dead.  Yes, even if all you were reaching for was your pants.
  11. The old man might have a heart attack after shooting you, but he will live long enough to tell the cops his side of the story, and since you are dead that's the only story they will hear.  He will get off.
  12. Any pussy that is so good that it's worth dying for, is good enough to marry her and/or meet the parents first.
  13. Had you meet her parents first, her dad may have kicked your ass, but you would still be alive with a good story to tell.  Better yet slutty Sally would have felt obligated to let you have a second go around after her dad made her feel bad by being mean to you.
D.A.D.D.
Dad's Against Daughters Dating.  Shoot the first one and the word will get around.

10 comments:

WaterBoy said...

"Better yet slutty Sally would have felt obligated to let you have a second go around after her dad made her feel bad by being mean to you."

Plus, you know, she might also just turn around and sue your ass, as well:

"But the Cannings say that Rachel left their home of her own accord, after chafing at their requests that she follow basic house rules, including doing some chores, abiding by curfew, and being respectful. The family had also quarreled over Rachel’s boyfriend, whom the Cannings called a bad influence."

Because mean.

Res Ipsa said...

True but Rachel's dad never shot the boy she was seeing.

WaterBoy said...

Sure...but neither would the boy in the news article have gotten shot, if he had followed rule #13. Wasn't that the point of the list?

I'm just saying that, instead of shooting the boy, the father had just kicked his ass instead, the girl might be inclined to sue him (because he was "mean"), on top of giving the boy a second go-round.

Res Ipsa said...

I didn't follow that. I'd love to see that court case.

Susan said...

This is what happens when Dad doesn't take a firm hand in the upbringing of his kids.
Daughters become sluts and dick magnets, and sons do stupid stuff like climbing into bedrooms of said sluts and getting shot. But having said that, and raised a daughter to adulthood, sometimes you just wind up birthing one that is really strong willed along with her case of epic stupid. Never a good combo.

As to Dad's ambulance ride, You might be on to something. Dad could have been using a gun because of his medical issues. You and Nate always tell me that guns are a great equalizer.

Susan said...

Loved your 13 rules by the way. Rachel's Dad was a Sheriff so he would know better. Also saw where he admitted that he wished he would have been as tough on her when she was young as he was on his deputies.

Kids need Dad's firm hand when young. Dad just can't leave it all to mom. He has to stay involved at all stages of their lives.

I am not trying to paint myself as more than I am Res. But I do have two adult kids, a son and a daughter. My husband and I have worked as a team for their whole lives. Parenting doesn't stop when they leave the nest. The parameters just change, that's all. My hope is that more parents have a great experience with their kids like I got to do, and still do now that they are grown.

Res Ipsa said...

Susan,

I think the best parents are those that stay involved in their kids lives. When you have a good relationship with the kids you can help them along after they leave home. I think one of the most important things we seem to have lost in our society is intact families helping the next generation build intact families. My grand parents had no problem stepping in and giving their 2 cents to my parents when I was a kid.

ajw308 said...

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office.

They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.

Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Jewish, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.

They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show --

Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max

-- on the controls.

Sorry, didn't know where else to dispose of this groaner.

Res Ipsa said...

You should have emailed it to me. It would have got its own BJW post.

Susan said...

Totally agree with your response to me Res. My kids are now in their 30's and their grandparents on both sides are still giving opinions to them on everything, and they love it.
Part of what I was referring to in my comment was so many dads don't get involved when the kids are still babies. When the kids are old enough for dad to consider them "interesting" it is almost too late.

The Proverb in the OT about training up your child in the way they should go, never did have an age or time limit on it as far as I am concerned.