My kids accuse me of "mess'n with them". I don't know what they are talking about.
“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’”
“How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
“Whenever we drive past a graveyard my dad says, ‘Do you know why I can’t be buried there?’ And we all say, ‘Why not?’ And he says, ‘Because I’m not dead yet!’”
“A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, ‘First offender?’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’”
“I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You.’”