I’m a radio scanner I hear a song I like and listen to it, if the next song stinks or it’s a commercial I hit scan. I was telling
Sunday was a different story. SR-71 summed it up in 1985.
Where’s the mini-skirt made of snake skin
And who’s the other guy that's singing in Van Halen
When did reality become T.V.
What ever happen to sitcoms, game shows…
She hates time make it stop
When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this stop
And bring back
Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s uncool
Cuz she's still preoccupied
The scan feature finally came to my rescue. Some radio station was playing a bunch of music that we used to dance to in school. This was their “Old School Dance Jams” program. Anyway it was better than listening to ghetto crap on the radio and driving by deer and antelope.
So I’m rocking out to the stuff the cool kids jammed to, doing about 95 when out of nowhere a state trooper comes flying up behind me with his lights on. As I’m thinking about putting my seat belt on and pulling over, he pulls along side me and gives me the thumbs down sign. I interpreted this to mean "slow the heck down" and I did. He kept on going.
You can tell a lot about a radio station by the commercials they play. The “dance Jams” program was sponsored by adult diapers, (which I almost needed at the time), Viagra, hair replacement, varicose vein treatments, electric hair removal (get rid of the post menopause mustache), AARP membership drive, Medicare supplemental insurance etc.
We used to call music from the mid 70’s Classic Rock. Now it’s Geezer Rock.
The first album I ever bought had a song with the line, “cold beer, hot lights, my sweet romantic teenage nights”. I’ll think up a cool cyber prize for anyone who can tell me the name of the song and album, without cheating by googling it.
I get why advertisers want to target specific audiences. I’m just having a problem with the whole mixed message going on. What if there was two people that needed these products to go out on a date? You’ve got a gal who needs the veins in her legs fixed and her stache gone before she can attract a guy who needs his bald spot fixed before he can pop a penis pill to re-live prom night.
What’s going on in their heads? I can hear the pick up line now: “hey baby you’re so fine you got me popping handfuls of little blue pills”. Imagine that the line works, 40 something or older chicks with hot flashes can’t be too choosy. They hook up. She can insist they keep the lights low, he can pop the magic pill inconspicuously. How do you explain the adult diapers as lingerie? Do they come in a red lacy style? Wait don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. I'm still to young.