My Rabbi

I had an interesting conversation this last week.  The man claimed to be a Jew.  He sort of looked Jewish, but didn't have a Jewish sounding name.  He said he was a Jew, and he is in "the biz" as they say.  Seemed like a generally nice guy.

The conversation started off with his commenting on the gun culture in Wyoming.  He let me know he was very knowledgeable about "firearm proliferation issues".  I was at work.  He was a customer.  I remained engaged in the conversation but uncommented about almost everything he had to say.

When he got to the part about crime rates I cut him off.  I said something about how high rates of gun ownership and racial homogeneity generally resulted in a non-violent society.  I was smiling and being very cocktail party pleasant.  His eyed narrowed and his breathing seemed shallower than it was just seconds before.  I could tell, he wanted to go all out liberal on me.

His problem was where to start.  I had given him no ammunition.  I hadn't disagreed with anything he had said.  I hadn't even taken the bait when he was talking about political parties.  Literally nothing I said in our conversation to this point allowed him a solid insight to my personal or political views about anything.  I had for all intents and purposes indicated that 1.) gun ownership was good and 2.) racial diversity was bad.

I hadn't planned this masterful turn of conversational events.  I had pissed off a liberal, without saying anything politically incorrect.  I just wanted to keep from saying anything that would be reported back to the powers that be as a negative reflection on me, but still maintain some rhetorical dignity.

The liberal, Jewish, anti-gun, show biz SJW just knew that he had a racist, gun owning, 4x4 driving, redneck, SOB on his hands.  I could tell he wanted to verbally rip me to shreds and demonstrate his enlightened liberal world view.  He didn't have an opening.  I hadn't actually said anything racist or even impolite.  I just said that lower racial diversity and high gun ownership resulted in less violent crime.  I knew, that he knew, that both statements are true.

That's when I started having fun.

He went after the racial issue tooth and claw.  He brought up everything he could think of to get a response from me.  I mean everything.  Immigration, illegal immigration, Hispanics in general, Asians, Blacks, Indians.  I didn't respond to any of it, other than to affirm that he was speaking to me.

He decided to prove how American multi cultural he was.  He lived in CA now, but he had lived in the deep south, and more importantly Montana, so he knew all about "our culture", "out here".

Here in white trash, red neck fly over country, its considered polite when someone tells you they are from a place to ask them some specifics.  Its just common stuff like where did you go to school or do you remember the old drive in, or did you know so and so.  It's conversational and considered good manners.

So when he said he was from Montana, I asked where.  Now I used to live in Montana, but I didn't happen to say that.  What I said was "oh where in Montana, my Rabbi is from there".

I don't look Jewish.  I don't have a Jewish sounding name.  When I mentioned I had a Rabbi his mouth fell open and stayed that way.  He looked at his watch.  He stuck out his hand for me to shake.  I guess he remembered he had someplace to be.  He said he hoped he saw me next time he came to town and we exchanged pleasantries.

I have never seen a liberal shut up so fast.

Rabbi B,

Thank you for engaging my questions on Judaism.  Thank you for your instruction.  Thank you for sending me your liturgies.  Thank you for your help in my studies.  I'm still working my way through the Neusner book and should probably write a  report on it.  Most importantly thank you for being ""my Rabbi".  If I knew how much fun it is having a Rabbi for a friend when talking to liberals, I would have gotten one years ago.