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The Yoko club?

Oh no.
 

The German philosophy club?

I. Kant.
 

The Ford-Nixon club?

Pardon me?
 

The Arafat club?

Yessir.
 

The Ebert movie club?

Roger.
 

The Groucho Marx club?

You bet your life.
 

The Peter Pan club?

Never. Never.
 

The Japanese theater club?

Noh.
 

The quarterback club?

I'll pass.
 

The compulsive rhymers club?

Okey-dokey.
 

The Spanish optometrists club?

Si.
 

The anti-perspirant club?

Sure.
 

The procrastinators club?

Maybe next week.
 

The Self-Esteem Builders?

No - they probably would not accept me anyway.
 

The Agoraphobics Society?

Only if they meet at my house.
 

The Co-Dependence Club?

Can I bring a friend?
 

The Prayer Group?

God willing!

Worth it for a Laugh

Odds and Shorts

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

Dam.

A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired."  Everyone laughed.  The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone.  He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense.

My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.

What do you call an Eskimo who's a Peeping Tom?

Itookalook

 

What's Forrest Gump's email password?

1forrest1

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

Internet

I buy stuff on line from time to time.  When I internet shop I normally check out several sites and compare reviews.  Google knows this.  Google tracks all of this and then Google tailors my "add experience" to reflect this.

Recently I decided I wanted a new pair of shoes for work.  My favorite maker of these kinds of shoes is Allen Edmonds.  So I checked out what they had available on their web site.  I've been a customer of Allen Edmonds for about 20 years.  So if they have what I want, I'm very likely to buy it from them.  As I was surfing the web site, I discovered that several models were on sale.    This company doesn't have sales all that often so I picked out what I wanted and ordered it. 

For me that's it, transaction over.  I've bought my shoes.  If they fit when they show up tomorrow, my quest for shoes will be over and it will be a few more years before I get the urge to shoe shop again.  Its never over for Google Ad Sense.  I can't surf any web page with out seeing adds for Allen Edmonds shoes.

Example #2.  I'm told (by those that love me enough to buy me gifts) that I'm "hard to shop for".  Whatever that means.  So I am required to provide lists of stuff I want for Christmas.  This last week I preformed my annual "list chore".  The best way to do this is to make a list and provide links to the items in question.  The fastest way to provide links is to Google the stuff I want and link it.  This year I asked for (among other things) some commercial grade kitchen items.  So now I'm bombarded by shoe and restaurant supply ads. 

In college I was a marketing major, so this internet based targeted advertising interests me.  I like everything about it from a marketing prospective.  One question that I have about the process is, "when do they decide to quit the targeted campaign?".  I've bought my shoes.  Unless something happens, I won't buy more shoes for some time.  Do I have to shop for something else in order to see new ads, or am I stuck with the ads?  Isn't that a waste of advertisers money and a wasted opportunity for some other advertiser? 

Doubt

Science is or at least should be a endeavor that is comfortable with the idea of doubt.  A theory is an idea that is proposed based on a combination of presuppositions,  evidence, observations, etc.  To doubt something is to question it.  Over the last 100 years science as an endeavor has changed from a process of accepting, working with, challenging and disproving doubt, to a semi-ridged faith based belief system.

Darwinian Evolution (as opposed to other evolutionary theories) started with the openly stated presupposition (and goal if you will) of establishing a frame work to explain existence apart form the history recorded in the book of Genesis.  This should be considered the prime directive (PD) of Darwinian Evolution.  From about 1859 onwards to our current time that view has become the norm in Western world. Those wishing to be taken seriously in the scientific community express doubt in the Darwinian system at their own peril.

Prior to 1859 (and for sometime there after) most educated people in the West accepted, what can be loosely called a biblical view of history.  Generally speaking, the biblical view produced an age of the earth as less than 10,000 (less than 6,000 for the picky).  After 1859 the idea that human history pre-dated the 10,000 year mark became the accepted norm.  In 1859 the estimated age of the earth, by the Darwinian crowd was 100,000 years, give or take.  Since 1859 the Darwin Evolutionist (DE) has expanded his time line.  Today the DE believes that the earth is 4.55 billion years and that man has been on earth for 4 to 6 million years.

The reason for the DE age date belief springs from several factors.  Of course there is the DE prime directive, but there are many other reasons apart from that.  DE has developed dating techniques and methodologies for establishing timelines.  For the most part, these methodologies rely on mathematical modeling based on radioactive half-life estimates of various isotopes.  Originally the dating methodologies produced results that were consistent with the PD.   

So what happens when evidence contradicts the established DE time table?

Skull of Homo erectus throws story of human evolution into disarray

The spectacular fossilised skull of an ancient human ancestor that died nearly two million years ago has forced scientists to rethink the story of early human evolution.

Anthropologists unearthed the skull at a site in Dmanisi, a small town in southern Georgia, where other remains of human ancestors, simple stone tools and long-extinct animals have been dated to 1.8m years old.

Experts believe the skull is one of the most important fossil finds to date, but it has proved as controversial as it is stunning. Analysis of the skull and other remains at Dmanisi suggests that scientists have been too ready to name separate species of human ancestors in Africa. Many of those species may now have to be wiped from the textbooks.

The scientists went on to compare the Dmanisi remains with those of supposedly different species of human ancestor that lived in Africa at the time. They concluded that the variation among them was no greater than that seen at Dmanisi. Rather than being separate species, the human ancestors found in Africa from the same period may simply be normal variants of H erectus.

"Everything that lived at the time of the Dmanisi was probably just Homo erectus," said Prof Zollikofer. "We are not saying that palaeoanthropologists did things wrong in Africa, but they didn't have the reference we have. Part of the community will like it, but for another part it will be shocking news."

A couple of quick points here:

1. The researchers are all DE.
2. The researchers are using accepted DE dating methods.
3. They are using accepted DE fossil evaluation methods.
4. Assuming the above, at best this new evidence cuts the DE timetable from 4 to 6 million years to 1 to 1.8 million years for the existence of man.
5. This data (as complied and interpreted via DE) does not disprove DE, it only shortens the time frame. 
6. Most damningly this data proves a number of DE researchers wrong about their timetable estimates.

If the purpose of science is to discover the truth, then this discovery should be a greeted with great enthusiasm, even though it shortens the DE time frame.

Aftermath

As of 7pm tonight I have loaded up the last truck load of dead branches left over from our early season snow storm.

This means that with any luck I may sneak out sometime latter in the week and try to shoot an antelope or two. 

It looks like elk season will be a bust since I will most likely head to Boulder next weekend.  Anyone who wants to grab a burger for lunch in the greater Denver area on Saturday should drop me a line.  Provided I make the trip of course.

Doh!

Homer Simpson gets a job working on the green mile.

IRAN - Earlier this month, Alireza, a 37-year-old man sentenced to death for drug smuggling was hanged in Bojnurd prison in Iran's northern Khorasan province. 12 minutes later he was pronounced dead and his body was sent for burial. That's just where the story begins. 

The following day, the worker preparing his corpse for family collection, noticed steam in the plastic cover in which Alireza was wrapped.  He was alive. He was immediately taken to Bojnurd's Imam Ali hospital.

The state-run Jam-e-Jam newspaper reported that Iranian judicial officials will wait until the man makes a full recovery and they will hang him again. 

On one hand, I disagree with the judge.  The man did, according to the powers who be, serve his sentence.  He was hanged, declared dead, and was about to be buried.  On the other hand, he didn't stay dead, which is what the court was going for.  Should the guy who was prepping the body have said anything?  If he hadn't they just would have buried the body, and nobody would have been wiser.

The case isn't about if his crime deserved capital punishment.  He did the crime.  He served the courts sentence.  Is it a fluke?  Yes.  I say sentence served.  Besides allah obviously didn't want him.

Definitions

Communist Revolutionary -- Someone with no money who uses violence to take money away from other people and control their lives.

Change Agent -- Someone with some money, probably sourced from foundations, who wants to use political and social forces to take money away from other people and control their lives, BUT they see themselves as good people.

Community Organizer -- Someone with government funding generally in the form of block grants, who wants to use violence and or political/social forces to take money away from other people and control their lives.

Back when I was self-employed I had a consulting gig with a large international environmental not for profit.  This group had scored a large gift to do a certain task.  They decided, after they had the money in hand, that they didn't want to do what they had promised.  They had no intention of giving back the cash.  This was my first experience in the NGO world of Community Organizers and Change Agents.  For the life of me I still can't see difference between them and a highwayman; other than the cocktail parties.

Pawn Shop

A middle eastern king was down on his money and began to sell off his valuables. The last of these was the Star of the Euphrates, at that time the most valuable diamond in existence. He went to a pawnbroker who offered him 100,000 rials for it. "Are you crazy?", said the king. "I paid one million rials for this gem! Don't you know who I am?"

The pawnbroker replied, "When you wish to pawn a star, makes no difference who you are."

The Haircut

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.  After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' 
 
The florist was pleased and left the shop.  When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen  roses waiting for him at his door. 

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries  to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' 
 
The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts  waiting for him at his door. 
 
Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when  he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied,  'I cannot accept money from you.  I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.  The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined  up waiting for a free haircut. 
 
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it. 

Get the Torches

Every once in awhile something happens that makes me proud to be an American.  Today I am bustling with pride in a handful of my countrymen!

Tearing down the Berrycades!

Thousands of Americans have taken the government shutdown into their own hands, literally, as they stormed into the nation’s capital, tearing down barricades blocking off the World War II Memorial on the National Mall Sunday morning.

“Barrycades are down,” tweeted Sherry Lucas, a reference to President Barack Obama’s childhood nickname of Barry.

Many of the barricades were then hand-carried by the protesters and dumped in front of the White House.

There are still men in America!

Free men!

American Men!

God bless them every one!

That spinning sound you've been hearing is our forefathers flipping back over in their graves to take notice that some of their offspring are in fact worth a damn.   If you listen closely you can hear them say, "get the tar and feathers boys!".

UpDate

Due to the snow storm last week:

I managed to get 14.5 hrs of O.T.  Yea me.  Tomorrow is my first day off in 13 days.

I managed to get 7 of my trees wrecked by the heavy snow. 

The snow is now mostly melted and I can get around in the yard.

I still love Husqvarna chain saws.  This has proved to be one of my better tool purchases.

I've made a few trips to the composting facility that takes trees and chips them.  They are over whelmed with branches. 

All the downed branches are cut up, but the dead stuff hanging in the trees still requires my attention.

I've got several more trips to go before the yard is cleared up and lots more tree work after that.

One of my neighbors has a front end loader.  After the snow he decided to help everyone on the street by moving snow.  Unfortunately he isn't real good about using it and moved several wheel barrels full of my gravel driveway to places that didn't have gravel before, like mine and my neighbors yard.

I will get to the gravel after the trees are done, if it doesn't snow some more.

I've done darn little blogging, which is likely to continue being the case.

Don't worry the bad joke Wednesday queue is full of jokes. 

More importantly hunting season is in full swing and I'll be lucky to get out.

Old West

During its heyday the Wells Fargo Company employed a number of specialized stagecoaches such as one with a church for Sunday operation. One of the more popular models featured a darkroom on board, so passengers who took pictures could have them processed en route and the prints delivered at their destination.

One day a stagecoach equipped with a darkroom was headed for Wichita when, passing through a small town, it was intercepted by the local marshall, who said, "Halt in the name of the law!"
"What's the problem?" the stagecoach driver asked.

"You should know that the operation of a mobile darkroom is illegal in Kansas," the marshall said.
At this point two psychologists on horseback arrived on the scene. One of them said, "I suppose what we have here is a classic case of the Oedipus complex."

The other said, "No, it's much simpler than that -- it's just an arrested stage of development."

Too Good to Be True

It seems that the 1-800 number for Obummer care is 1-800-318-2596.

If you spell that out it is 1-800-F1UCKYO.

It appears that this is the first hint of truth coming from the Obummer administration.

Shutdown

I've matured in my curmudgeonly take on life in general and politics in particular.  I think this evolution in my though processes started when I realized that the Gotterdammerung all but inevitable.  I say "all but" because while I believe that it is possible to pull our national nuts out of the fire, I realize that nearly nobody wants to do that now.  The powers that be are more interested in being first in line for the looting of America and are getting what they can, while the getting is still good.

Be that as it may, the government shut down has provided me with some small amusement.    Jeff Reed's comment that, “The sad reality is … Obama sent more guards to keep WWII vets from entering their memorial than he sent to Benghazi.”  was good for a chuckle. 

The utter ridiculousness of the Obummer (lack of competent) administration borders on criminal.  The WWII vets in their wheelchairs "fighting the man" to enter a free memorial is simultaneously inspiring, pathetic and symbolic of things to come. It's inspiring.  Hero's resisting tyranny, stirs the soul of Americans. 

It's pathetic because the entire reason the monument was closed was to "create pain" for the average American.  Keep that in mind, always.  The government allegedly doesn't have enough money for its essential functions, but it does have money to shut down unstaffed attractions and scenic overlooks.  Our government that (they believe) is so essential for the American people, actually has to create ways and spend money it claims not to have, in order to "create pain" so we will notice they are shut down. We as an electorate allow it.  Pathetic. 

A few geezers with their wheelchairs and walkers demonstrated that the Vacationer in Chief is as impotent as their ninety-eighty year old wieners.  No doubt a few of them needed a hit on the oxygen mask after the exertion.  Unfortunately this is a sign of things to come.  There are fewer Americans willing to stand up and say NO to the government.  As time goes on the independent and self reliant are replaced with the fearful and complacent.  The patriot who thinks and acts for himself is being replaced with the bumbling bureaucrat, who is "just doing my job".

Bill Maher can mock the vets all he likes.  They fought for him to have that right.  Perhaps the greatest generation wasn't all that bright, after all they gave us the baby boomers, like Maher.  The hypocrisy is nauseating.  If Obummer were a white republican he would be openly mocked on every tv and radio channel in the free world.  Obummer is not white.  He is not mocked.  It is sacrilege to speak the truth in America.

Soup For Sluts

It's funny.

At least is funnier than all the snow I'm taking a break from shoveling.

Enjoy the link.

35 Most Unfortunate Names for Food Products...Ever.

My Mother

My mother is a conundrum for me.  I've learned how to see where she is coming from and I've come to figure out a little of how she thinks.   SOMETIMES.  I also learned how to have an adult relationship with her.  The way this works in real life, is that Mrs. Ipsa spends an hour or so each week on the phone with her and relates any information and/or family gossip, that I may find useful.  This keeps me informed of family info that I need, and keeps me from having to deal with her too often.  It's a system that has been perfected over 16 years and I like it.

Normally this is a great system and it has worked wonders.  Living over 1,000 miles apart can be a good thing too.  Saturday night at dinner the whole damn deal went straight to hell.  The main problem was that my parents were here in person and there was no filter form mom's mind to her mouth.

My great grandmother and I were very close.  From the time I was 5 years old I spent a part of every summer "up north".  In high school and college, I would take my girlfriends to meet her.  In college this was a great benefit if I was half way interested in a girl.  I had a weekend getaway that I could take a girl out to, complete with a cook, house keeper and second opinion.  I valued that second opinion.  If I was thinking about getting serious about someone they had to make a couple of trips with me to visit Gram.  Even though she lived several hours away, she met more of my girlfriends than my parents did, even when I was living with them.  This is still a bit of a sore point for mom.

My mom's offense was bringing up, and exaggerating a comment my grandmother made.  At the time I was dating The Perfect Blond (TPB).  I was serious about TPB.  I met TPB shortly after what could be called my Meatloaf romance.  TPB wasn't the hottest girl I was ever with, she was a solid 6.  What made the "P" of TPB was we were soul mates.  We enjoyed a connection with each that was incredible.  People who didn't even know us felt a need to comment on our relationship and how "in love" we were.  Someplace out there is a picture of us on a college recruiting magazine, the idea being that if you come to this school, you too can be this lucky in love.

That relationship didn't work out.  It blew up.  The person to blame for that is me.  Yes, at the end, she made some irreversible decisions that I would not live with, and ultimately could not forgive.  Her choices were a response to my actions.  I didn't lead properly, and I didn't maintain my integrity.   It was my fault.  Nobody that knew us, knew that at the time, including her family.  I doubt that they know it now.

Grandma is long dead.  A quarter of a century ago she made a comment to my parents that she thought TPB "just wanted to get married".  That's the whole comment.  Maybe she said it in a semi disapproving or a flat tone.  At dinner, in front of my wife and kids, my mother had to bring up TPB and how much my grandmother disliked her.  Then she asked me if Gram was right and how lucky I was etc.

I wouldn't lie.  I never gave mom an answer to her questions.  My wife noticed and looked away.  My son, never knew there were any other females in my life, or that it was possible to love anyone other than his mother.  This morning my little daughter asked why I don't love her mommy.

Two years after I was married to Mrs. Ipsa I ran into TPB's mom and dad at a function.  My name was in the program as someone who gave enough money to meet the speaker.  Her parents sought me out.  They were impressed with my job and how well I was doing.  They asked me to get back in touch with TPB and were handing me her number.  That's when I pulled my left hand from my pocket to take the paper her mom was offering.  In that exact moment TPB's father saw my wedding ring and forcibly pulled his wife's arm back.  He pulled her away from me and they beat a hasty exit.  I laughed as they were running off.  I told them that I wished TPB well and give her my best.

I do wish her well.  I hope her life is working out.  I hope that for all the girls I knew before. 

For the record:

• Married 16 years, faithful 16 years. 
• I know that my life would have been different if I had married TPB.  Among other things my kids would be mostly raised now, instead of just starting their schooling.
• That incident 14 years ago is a close to renewing contact with TPB as I've ever come.
• My parents next visit will be too damn soon.

Save Time, Groan Now

In 1957, several cities were vying to host the 1964 Winter Olympics. Candidates had been eliminated to the point where the only two left were Singapore and Nevers, France. The French venue had an obvious advantage for the games, but the Singaporeans were eager to host the games in their country, so they developed a snow-making machine. Because of technical glitches, the machine produced snow only part of the time. The rest of the time it produced steam, and you can't ski on steam. So they made a last-ditch effort to perfect the machine, knowing that the deadline for a decision from the committee was nigh.


To bring moral support and entertainment to the workers, they brought in Elvis Presley, who mounted the stage and said, "Well, today's the day your machine must produce snow. If it belches out steam, the games will go to France. So this is it. It's snow, or Nevers."

West Virginia

From West Virginia, where the cops are bored and the weirdo's run scared. 

From the bored cops file.

Police in West Virginia have charged a man and his step daughter with incest despite the fact that they aren't related by blood and are both over the age of consent and they now face up to 15-years in prison.

Nicholas County authorities charged Kelcey Nicholas, 28 and his 21-year-old stepdaughter Lataura Jarrett with incest after Sheriff David Hopkins decided to cite the inclusive definition of 'daughter' in state law.

Nicholas married Jarrett's mother five years ago and authorities allege that she calls him 'father', and the pair were arrested having sex after Sgt. W.K. Shafer and State Police Cpl. D.P. White traveled to their home on September 19th to arrest Nicholas for a home confinement charge.

In West Virginia if you get divorced, are you still cousins?  I'm very much in favor of traditional marriage.  I support it, as a legal concept, as a church concept and as the corner stone of civilization.  Heterosexual monogamous marriage, RAH, RAH, RAH!  Go nuclear family!  Make and raise babies!  Yea procreation!

That said, the USA is full of sexual perversion.  I would even go so far as to argue that those practices are damaging to our society.  Fair enough?  I think so.  Does this situation rise to the level of needing police involvement?   No.

Lets break it down:

5 years ago when Kelcey was 23 years old he married a women that was old enough to have a 16 year old daughter.  The story doesn't tell us how old the mother was but assuming she had to be at least 13 to conceive that would make her at least 29 at the time and at least 34 now, but probably a couple of years older.  Kelcey is a bit odd in wanting an older women, fair enough, not criminal.  Today his "wife" no doubt looks older and less attractive and her daughter looks, I gonna say better.  We've got pictures of the daughter but not the mom.  Apparently the daughter is up for this sort of thing, no word on how mom feels.  Kelcey is weird. Unless this fling has been going on for more than 3 years, Kelcey isn't a criminal.  He is a weirdo, a pervert maybe, and a glutton for punishment if he is with both mom and daughter.  I'm not fix'n to have him around my family, but that doesn't mean he should spend the next 15 years in jail.