All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!


Mr. Grumpy

My last day off was sometime in November. I've been working every day with a lot of 10 and 12 hour days. So I've been a little grumpy and not as focused mentally. I was in the drugstore tonight and the girl checking me out told me the total. I was writing a check and for the life of me couldn't remember the date. I asked and she said the 18th. So I dutifully wrote out a check for $18. I caught my mistake and told her what I did ad asked if she'd mind making change for my check. She said no problem and mentioned I looked tired. I said yes and mentioned I'd been working a lot. The other store employees piped in to the conversation. We talked about Christmas plans. The exchange was typical drugstore small talk.

Then it happened. The pharmacist rang out a hearty "Merry Christmas Mr. Ipsa". The counter girl joined in as did 3 or 4 others. Little exclamations of "Happy New Year" and "have a great holiday" filled the shop. Despite spending the day mostly cold with a number of hassles and some disappointments at work, I was no longer grumpy. I felt down right spiffy. I still do.

To all my blog friends, thanks for stopping by this last year and sharing my joys and sorrows. Even though its still a week away, and incredibly politically incorrect to say so:

Merry Christmas!


I made the mistake of listening to talk radio today. The host was making a big deal of Mit the Mormon and his speech to explain his faith. The monolog focused on the fact that 1. Mit was a good solid man of strong personal conviction whose faith is very important to him. AND 2. Mit’s faith would play no part in influencing his decision making if he is elected President.

To recap; Mit has a deep faith that won’t effect him one whit in his daily life or in making choices that affect Americans and possibly others throughout the world.

What good is this so called faith? Is he lying about having a strong faith, or is he lying about how he makes decisions? No wonder they are comparing him and his speech to JFK.



I told Waterboy that I was going to shill for Ron Paul this election. I haven't keep up with that so...

Questions for you Ron Paul nay sayers:

1. What professed and practiced political principals of Ron Paul do you object to and why?
2. Would you have voted for or against Thomas Jefferson?
3. What exactly is it about George Washington's foreign policy that you find unAmerican?
4. Why do you object to turning moral and social issues over to the states and keeping the Federal government out of them?

There isn't a single Republican front runner that doesn't share at least 50 to 75% of Hillary Clinton's political/governmental/social philosophy. Remember, this is the most important election of our time. We can't afford to elect anyone other than a true American patriot to the White House. Ron Paul in 2008!


$1.69 Well Spent

Mrs Ipsa and the boy spent Thanksgiving at the grandparents. The boy learned a fun new game at the wife's folks house. Grandma and Grandpa have a finished basement. They keep their shoes at the top of the stairs. The boy learned that if he throws the shoes from the top of the stairs, he can make them go a long way. So he pitches the shoes and watches them fall down the stairs, then he laughs. This is great fun.

Grandfathers, are not made up of atoms, they consist entirely of sub-atomic anti-discipline particles. This molecular anomaly causes them to encourage behavior they would have paddled their own children for engaging in. According to second hand accounts, when the boy threw the boots and shoes downstairs and giggled, grandpa rushed to pick up the formerly air born items and place them within easy grasp for relaunching. This was so entertaining and addicting a past time that my father-in-law is now encouraging other family members to chuck stuff for him to chase. I'm not looking forward to explaining to the boy that its his fault grandpa is a Labrador Retriever.

The lad returned form Thanksgiving very keen on playing "the game". We don't keep our shoes by the stairs. Bummer for the boy. Youth is blessed with endless imagination. My son, being a very bright and resourceful boy, discovered that if he tried real hard, he could imagine that the tin cans in the pantry were shoes. He launched them downstairs with great enthusiasm. So great was his zeal that he almost got the glass jars, including the one filled with honey, air born.

At that point, Daddy, aka, Father Kill Joy, put the breaks on "the game". I must of said some less than understanding things to the Wife, about watching the kid, closing pantry doors, etc. She informed me that all male children under the age of 42 years, are capable of creating havoc in less than point 3 nano-seconds. Apparently its also my fault her father taught the boy "the game". To redeem myself, I made the nearly ultimate sacrifice. I went into K-Mart during the pre-Christmas shopping season. The Ultimate Sacrifice being of course, going into Wal Mart.

I was focused, a man on a mission. Fighting throngs of blue haired women, I made it to the relative peaceful sporting goods section of the store. Diligently I sought out my quarry. I found them, bright yellow, somewhat bouncy, made in China to a quality standard that no self respecting player would ever use, tennis balls. I dashed to the checkout.

We have a new game now. Toss the tennis balls is very popular at the Ipsa household. The boy tosses the balls downstairs, giggles and daddy tosses them back. We're branching out into more advanced levels of the game. The other night we played toss with mommy. We sat on the couch and mommy sat on the floor and played catch. Some balls rolled under the couch. Mommy reached under to fetch them out. The boy chucked a ball and beaned mommy on the head. He laughed like that was the funnest thing he ever saw.

I stopped myself before I asked her if she'd still rather be playing "the game" with number 9 cans.


Politically Correct Santa

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labour conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the C.A.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows:
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd never a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passé;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even YOU.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."


sort of sad

When I was a younger man I assumed I'd have kids one day. The subject wasn't one I thought about much, I just assumed it would happen. I'm fairly certain that I put more brain power into the part leading up to making kids than how I'd feel about the kids themselves. Psychologists have a term that describes this type of thinking "normal red blooded American male heterosexuality".

After being married a few years, you expect that a certain amount of practice would make perfect and a colony of rug rats would mysteriously spring up in the living room. Then I turned thirty, no kids, still no worries lots of time. More time past, then even more time. We had great vacations and got to do stuff that many others are age didn't. Still no kids. Right before Mrs Ipsa hit the BIG 40 we had the boy.

Frankly I love it. Even the parts I don't care for are still pretty darn good. When I was younger I couldn't wait for the next stage in life, but now I don't have that problem. I like this stage. I enjoy my days of being the dad. I like playing. I like being a dad and I'm very thankful for the experience of being the father of a son. Still I'd like to have a daughter or maybe another boy or two.

Mrs. Ipsa was at an out of state CME conference yesterday when she miscarried a baby that she didn't know she was pregnant with. She seems ok. Me? Not so much. I'm not grieving like I did when we lost my niece last year, but I'm not a happy camper.


Playing House

A little girl and a little boy were at day care. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?"

He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts."

"Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have
no idea what that means."

The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."


Election 2008

Question: Which recent Governor of the State of Arkansas had the best record on tax cuts prior to running for the Presidency?

Answer Here

Thats right kids Bill Clinton has a better record on taxation in Arkansas that Shuckabee Huckabee. Lets take a look at the possible candidates from both parties. First the Democrats, we see pure evil, it doesn't matter which candidate, they will all try to out UnAmerican each other. Hillary, having a slightly different take on it, will try to out AntiChrist AND out UnAmerican the other candidates. In the end she will feast on the headless bodies of her adversaries as she claws her way to Cherry Blossom Throne.

Then we have the Republican Candidates:

Rudy Giuliani
The number of things wrong with this candidate are well innumerable. I don't know how a gun grabbing, baby killing, tax and spend liberal, from NEW YORK runs as a republican, of course he used to be a democrat and maybe he just was too dumb to know that he punched the "R" instead of the "D" when he was filling out his voter registration.
John McCain
Check into this guys voting record. Now face facts, he didn't volunteer to stay in Nam because he was a great American, he wanted to stay because they converted him to communism. After his work on the incumbent protection plan, campaign finance reform, can we really trust he'll just step down after his term is up?
Mitt Romney
He's rich therefore he's a Republican. Never mind that he's another tax and spend, can't make up my mind on abortion, gun control, border control, left wing nut case from Taxachusetts.
Fred Thompson
At least he's played the president on TV. Maybe he can do it in real life. Heck it worked for Reagan.

Ron Paul
The last best chance for America. FWIW he actually believes all that stuff he's saying about the constitution, cutting taxes, and limiting the federal government. How do I know? Because thats the way he's voted in congress as long as he's been there. When it comes to economics and understanding whats going on Ron Paul Kicks Butt above and beyond anyone else in government today. Watch the video, then imagine what it would be like to have this man as the President of the United States. You might not "get it" the first time through, keep working at it. Understand this Ron Paul "gets it", more importantly he wants to change it.

Laughing at 14 Months

I've never heard the joke, or the punch line, but when the boy starts to laughing its contagious. In seconds I'm smiling and cracking up. He starts off giggling, then he gets the belly laughs then snorts and then he falls over, busting a gut the whole time.

There is nothing like it. The innocent laughter of your own children is better than any funny movie or stand up comedian I've ever saw.

We were playing bounce baby on the bed (don't tell Mrs Ipsa). This game is good for a few chuckles and I was looking forward to the inevitable tickle fight, when it happened. The boy sat up and sneezed. Of course he was giggling and this caused the little snot pockets to blow bubbles. Like a good dad I was already going for some Kleenex. Right at that moment the boy discovered that if he snorted when he laughed he could get big snot bubbles. This became a new game. Which, again no need to tell Mrs Ipsa, I let him play, because I was laughing as hard as he was. Snot is affected by gravity and soon was running out of bubble blowing range. So I wiped it up. This bummed the little guy out tremendously.

I couldn't let the good times end so I started a game of tickle monster. He was off laughing again. This time he discovered if he laughed hard and pushed with his tummy, he could get a loud fart. As we all know, loud farts are just about the funnest thing on earth. So we laughed and he farted as much as he could. This now passes as high culture at the Ipsa house.

This afternoon the boy was taking his nap. I checked in to see how he was doing. He let a little toot in his sleep, and giggled. So did I.



A veteran - whether active duty, retired, discharged, national guard or reserve - is someone who (whether they understood it or not at the time) wrote an undated blank check made payable to "The People of The United States of America", for an amount of "Up to and Including My Life."--Unknown
I was asked why I say that I support our troops but not war. The person asking me was of the opinion that you have to be pro war to be pro troops. I'm not pro war and only a psychotic, or a neo-con could be so.

I believe war is sometimes unavoidable. I believe war is a moral undertaking in some cases. I believe that it is something we should avoid if possible and move heaven and earth to win if not. The person I was talking to was more interested in the current war in Iraq than generalities about war. I tried to explain that principals are more important than applications. He was having none of that. In his mind if your not worshiping GWB than you're against the flag, mom and apple pie. I tried to explain that I'm a fan of pie in general and apple in specific. He didn't get it, or see the remark as humorous.

As to Iraq. Bush didn't lie, he gave the reasons he thought we should go fight. As it turns out most of his reasons turned out to be based in fact. Congress went along for the ride. They look more like weasels every time they try to get around this inconvenient truth. Of course as congress critters they look like weasels or snakes anyway so it can be hard to tell whats happening based solely on looks.

We're in a war. Lets finish up and win it and bring the boys home. We don't need another war with Iran, or any other country friendly with "extremism". If these nations are so dangerous and pose so great a threat that we must always keep our troops on their soil, I have another suggestion. Kill them all. Use the nuclear option. The USA has shown in the past that we can and will turn our enemies into smoldering piles of radioactive rubble.

I posed this suggestion to my friend. He was against it. I asked why. Surely GWB can make intercession for our souls if that's what you're worried about. If you're pro-war and pro-victory and its all about making the sandbox safe for democracy, kill em all. Nothing could be safer than bombing them with nukes from 30,000 feet. He was still against it. I told him he hated his mother and apple pie.

I guess my main point, and here you didn't think I had one, is that the quote I provided explains why I support our servicemen but not finding lots of little reasons to send them out to shoot people. Those who take up our nations uniform do so for us. They serve us, you, me our families, no matter the cost. They wrote that blank check on their life because they value us. I honor and support them, no matter the conflict, because they did it for me, even if I might not have ordered them to go. They earned it.



I’d like some input from the gun nut crowd. I’m still working towards my 1K goal. I’m still in the rebuilding the gun stage. I know I should be further along, hunting season and taking on extra work have been slowing up the process. I’m at the point where I’m looking at adding two important components and I’d like your thoughts.

As way of reminder this is for a 7mm-08 built on a Remington 700 short action. Item number one: a new stock. I’m pretty much sold on doing a Bell and Carlson full aluminum bedded stock. I have two choices that I’m considering. Choice number one is the VARMINT/TAC S/A MEDALIST STOCK, and choice number two is the fully adjustable VARMINT/TACTICAL STOCK. Question does anyone have any personal experience with either stock? I’m leaning towards the adjustable stock, thoughts?

Item number two. I’m thinking about rebarreling the bad boy with either a Krieger or a Hart heavy, fluted barrel. Of course I’ll have it trued and accurized etc. Any thoughts on length or barrel preference?


Mortgages Part 1b

A special hat tip to Gary North. I found this at his place, although its not his work. I intend to work on my analysis after I get a substantial amount of honey do, done.

Pay attention to part 2, these guys are on the money. They are playing it for laughs but they are 100% right, on both the theory and the practice.

Environmental News

Al Gore discovers a solution to energy independence. PETA hates it. I'm torn in my feelings on if we should do it or not. You decide.


GOD is Busy

If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!!

A United States
Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.

One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. He was anti-war as well.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He
looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy
today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me."


The Mortgage Industry

The press has been paying attention to the unexpected sub prime mortgage meltdown. It's not a melt down and as anyone with either a recollection of banking history or a rudimentary understanding of math can attest, its not unexpected.

Lets review. In the late 1970's and early 1980's interest rates shot through the roof. Back then the adjustable rate mortgage wasn't the prevalent product. In those days fixed rate mortgages were often only of 5 to 15 years lengths. As they customarily had been in the US before the advent of Fannie and Freddie. If you wanted a 30 year loan, it was generally offered as a 5 year balloon.

Here's how the old 30 year loan worked. You wanted to buy a house. The first thing you did was save up 20% of the purchase price as cash, plus 6 months housing expenses, plus 2 to 6 months worth of escrow for taxes and insurance. In all likelihood you had about 30% of the purchase price on deposit in the same bank you were going to get the mortgage from. Then they evaluated your ability to repay the loan. If you had enough monthly income from your normal 40 hour work week to make the payment and if your total debts (remember not many people had credit cards) including your utilities and any other recurring expenses didn't exceed 25% to 30% of your total gross income, AND you had sufficient disposable income to live on, they would take the time to evaluate your credit. Credit scores were a evolving thing at this point and most of the scoring systems were not as uniform as they are now. What happened was the loan officer had to get letters of reference and call up people you had accounts with to see if you paid your bills on time. Today you have to be 30 days late to get a late on your credit report, under the old system the LO knew if you were always just a few days behind. If that checked out you got the loan.

The way the loan worked was your payment was amortized over 30 years with a fixed interest rate. Every fifth year the total principal amount came due as a balloon payment. Some paid it off, most refinanced at what ever the new interest rate was. Under Jimmy Carter's admin folks got a big surprise, when that 5 year balloon came due instead of a seeing a 1/4 or 1/2 point interest rate hike they were seeing 10 to 16% interest rate hikes. They couldn't make the payments. Some lost their homes, others had local banks that would work with them. To keep the roof from collapsing on the nation, several things happened. The government sponsored several different buyouts and some banker thought up bringing back a practice that was generally regarded as unethical. Thus we saw the re advent of the negatively amortized and the interest only mortgage. After Regan's election banking got back to "normal" and interest rates and home mortgage rates bounced in the 7 to 9% range for most of the 1990's.

This is getting long. I see a part 2 coming down the road.


Where Are the Wapiti?

Yes I'm back. No I didn't get an elk. I was hunting bulls and all I saw were cows. I did get 3 good stalks in heavy timber but no horns came my way. I still have my tag and there is a little time left to hunt in this season, but I don't know if I'll get away. I did get to help in a search and resuce operation when a hunter got lost and was forced to spend the night on the mountian. He made it back ok. I'm working over at my regular job to make up for an employee thats off, and I'm feverishly trying to finish up consulting work before the grandparents show up for a visit latter in the week.


Snow on the Mountain

Its fall. The nights are cooler, the days shorter and I hear the call of the wild.
I'm heading up in elevation in search of the mighty wapiti. I expect to return sometime around the 21st.


Evangelical Nigger

Beginning in 1865 the Republican Party had nearly 100% of the black vote in this country. With the exception of some post war votes that went to Democratic candidates, they keep that minority constituency until the early to mid 1960’s. After all who else would blacks vote for? Certainly not the party that fought a war to keep them enslaved, right? Right?

Not right. The democrats discovered that the American Negro liked two things better than his freedom. Welfare checks and entitlement spending. Oh sure democrats eventually got on the Equal Rights bandwagon, but when they did they made sure the blacks knew that the money would stop if the votes ever did.

You didn’t think the Democrats came up with the civil rights movement did you? They didn’t, it was a Republican led initiative. The War on Poverty and the Great Society weren’t programs to improve equality; they were and are programs to buy votes. The same holds true on other issues like the environment. This was a Republican strong hold until the 1960’s too. Ever hear of a guy by the name of Teddy Roosevelt, if you like national parks and large stretches of public land, thank him.

The point is that the Republicans have lost nearly every political constituency that they have ever held in the name of expediency and neglect. “We can always count on the black vote”, they reasoned, “Who else will they vote for?” The Republican Party held the “liberal” view on almost every “progressive” issue since about 1872 until the late 1950's. They also represented the desires of the business community and used the public treasury to fund the interests of their supporters, ala railroads and Tea Pot Dome.

Notably every group that left the GOP has met more of its goals after leaving, than the GOP met when they stayed.

GWB and the NeoCom’s, (Com isn’t a misprint, it’s a more descriptive and accurate term than the “Neocon” label) thought that they could buy off the constituency that brought them to power the same way Republicans always have, by tossing a few crumbs from the pubic treasury. That’s why so many “faith based” initiatives received federal funding. GWB got his votes and the Christians got some cash. In the republican mind the debt was paid.

As the battle for the cherry blossom throne begins to heat up, the Republican Party leadership is looking to reign in its base. They need everyone to rally round the GOP banner once more. There’s a problem. The NeoCom’s have betrayed everyone except those who bought their line about the war being the single most important issue.

The Christians are threatening via James Dobson to take their votes start their own party. Does this scare the Republican leadership into making changes in the platform or running more conservative candidates? Nope. Instead they are using the Lizard Queen as a scare tactic. “A vote for us is better than her!”

Unless we manage to get Ron Paul on the ticket, I think Christian groups should vote for someone else. Some will say that such a policy will elect Hilary. They’re probably right. But they’re not offering anything that is significantly different. I see two possible outcomes from such a strategy, both good. One, (unlikely) we could end up with a decent third party. Two, Republican Neo-communists might wake up to the fact that the evangelical Christian voting block ain’t their nigger no more. As long as the party leadership can say “boy come vote for me, or else you’ll get someone even worse” and then beat us up after, nothing will change.


I Am Daddy

This last summer has been hectic. I can't believe its over. It seems like yesterday was January. I didn't accomplish half the things I planned. I did manage one home improvement project, new garage doors. For the first time in my life I can park inside with the luxury of an automatic door opener. In the past the wife got the garage or the side with the opener. Its as good as fart'n through silk.

I didn't get in a single garden post, mostly because the garden didn't get much attention. As of today I still haven't weed whipped the yard, although I did manage to mow it a few times. Blogging has been slow, I've read more than I've posted here or at everybody else's. In the past I worked at my desk on my network. I could work on budget projections and take a break visiting around or post something of my own. Now I'm in the field 90% of the time and even when I'm at a PC its on a managed network. Blogging at work is strictly verboten. So I've written many a post in my head but never gotten it down for ya'll.

Work is keeping me busy, everyone at big oil company loves my work, yet no promotion into a professional position. My boss told me that they don't want to lose me in my current job. He said I'm too good at what I do. Big freaking deal. I got into this in hopes of moving up after a year not in hopes of being a field hand for life.

In my long list of things not accomplished, my hobbies have suffered this year. Its hunting season and the 06 isn't even sighted in. Worse I don't even have a box of ammo loaded for it. In one week I'm supposed to head out in search of the mighty wapiti.
What exactly have I been doing with my time?
Here's one of the little guy eating (wearing) his birthday pie. He likes fruit so he got a blueberry pie. He's one and a lot of fun.
The first picture was taken over the summer. You can see how many new teeth he got in just a few months. I wonder if that has anything to do with mom and dad feeling tired most mornings.

The in-laws came for the birthday. When the wife was at work grandma watched the boy for the whole day. I get home before the wife. I walked in the door and a little blond headed boy came crawling at top speed across the kitchen. He went right over top of the landing (a first, he doesn't like going down steps). When he reached me I was taking off the work boots. He reached up with both hands, and with a hopeful looks said "daaaaaaaaaaa". Which as every father of a one year old knows means, "Welcome home father, please pick me up and save me from these two crazy old people that have been harassing me all day". This was the first time the boy came to me when I got home. Of course I needed to go out and buy new jeans. I now stand 10 feet tall.

If you stop by and I've not posted anything about politics, the news or my hobbies, know this. I have a second job now. My responsibilities include: the tickle fight (Mostly I win); a game called airborne baby (some lucky baby gets to transform into a real live F-16); blow bubbles on the belly is a blast, sometimes we get to laughing so hard that I never actually get to make the blubbbbberb sound; Baby drop (I don't really drop him, at least not too far, and I always catch him); today we added race to the top of the stairs, (I lost but tomorrow we're going best 2 out of 3). Like my real job, I'm hoping for a promotion soon, horsey rides are in the near future.

Bad Joke Wednesday Night

Vultures With Luggage

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."



As if I needed another reason to hate all things about California.

Marines Denied Permission To Film Commercial on the streets of San Francisco.

California is one of the biggest beneficiaries of military pork in the United States. You'd think they'd let the Marines at least use their city for a commercial. And I don't buy the mayors excuse about traffic, when its gays doing a "love in" the city doesn't give a good gosh darn about the traffic. How about we cut out all of Sodom on Pacific's federal tax funds and CA's pork and see how they feel about the military then?

This is what the Marines wanted to do and film:


A Drill

I was reading the comments at Taylor's and Eric suggested a self defense scenario in which an attacker was 15 feet away. His concern was with the amount of time a person (the attacker) could cover the distance in question.


This is a 3 person drill.


1 man sized silhouette paper/cardboard target set up 25 feet away from and directly in front of the shooter.

The shooter assumes the “ready position” (i.e. gun loaded and holstered) on the firing line. The second person assumes a standing position directly behind (not touching) the shooter and facing away from him, i.e. back to back. This person is the runner. The runner should be holding a set of keys or other object such as a mag. The timer/R.O. sounds the start timer. Two things should happen immediately. The shooters job is to draw and fire two shots into the target. The runners job is to run away from the shooter. At the sound of the first shot, the runner should drop the keys/mag. At the sound of the second shot the runner must stop immediately.

See how far the runner gets before he drops the keys and then see how far he gets before the second shot. If you're the shooter ask yourself, "how accurate were my shots and how far did the attacker get?" After you've run it a few times and everyone has gotten the chance to practice their parts and try different roles, consider how your new information will impact your self defense plans/options. The first time I ran this drill it was a real eyeopener. Its a fun exercise if you've got a newbie or liberal in your group too.


¼ Mile Day

Well not quite a quarter mile, more like 409 measured yards. Regardless, my pursuit of the 2K goal is progressing. The best group with the AR came in at 2/3 of an inch from the bench. Wind gusts got up to 16 mph, but we had some decent calms and it did work its way around to our backs. I tried something new today, I shot a hand gun long range and managed to get within 2 inches of my point of aim at over 400 yards. I forgot to take my digital camera, but one of the other guys did, if he emails me some pics I’ll post them.


I smudged out shooter names on the target since I wasn't the only shooter. The shots labeled "6-284" are from a handgun chambered for a 284 necked down to 6mm. The shots labeled "puff" are from a handgun in 7mm Dakota. (which is what I'm holding in the pic) The group labeled AR-15 were shot by a friend using my AR. The wind was kicking up a bit on that first shot so it was about 3in from the other two. Even with that, the group is sub MOA at 400 yards. The AR shots were made using the ballistic reticle on a Burris 3X9 Full Field scope. Proving that decent glass can get the job done at reasonable distances.

400 yard shooting is interesting. You pull the trigger, feel the recoil and blast, see the impact on target and then hear the sound of the bullet smacking the steel plate.

My buddies brought their boys on this outing, so shorty after I took a break from shooting, my AR and about 200 rounds of ammo were commandeered by some 13 year olds. I got the gun back after they shot up all the factory ammo they could find in my truck. One of the boys had never shot a center fire rifle before. Inside of his first 5 round mag, he was tagging targets and putting up sub MOA groups from prone. Both of the boys kicked some major butt on the range with my gun. I should mention that they were shooting with some Wal Mart factory ammo with 55 grain hollow points. I had brought some hand loads that I wanted to try out (75 grain A-max's behind 24.5 grains of TAC) those came in much better giving me a even closer group.


Textual Criticism

The way you look at something affects what you see. If you read the Bible already accepting certain ideas as true, your reading will produce a certain result. If you already accept the age of the earth as really old, and the Bible clearly says something else, you have a problem. Both ideas can’t be true. What happens when you want to believe that the Bible is true and your public school educated science teacher is right about being the descendents of pond scum and mutant monkeys? You have a problem of logic. In order to resolve that problem you invent an allegorical reading where no allegory existed.

The Bible does contain allegories. It is very clear when it uses them, such as, “he spake to them in parables”. In the Old Testament there was a hand full of times that they were used to communicate a point. It is clear from a plain reading of the text which portion was literal and which was figurative.

In order to believe something is an allegory, you have to have a reason for that belief. If the reason is in the text itself, then you have a good argument for believing that’s what the author intended. If there isn’t a reason in the text, you have to ask yourself why you think what you’re reading is not what it claims.


Why 7 Days?

First some personal background: part of my secondary education was in a Baptist school, I’m a graduate of a Christian college, and hold a post graduate degree. I only mention that to make two points: One, the official position of the science department of the college I attended was evolutionary creationism, two I’ve struggled with this issue on a personal basis since 7th grade science class. What I’ve come to believe as an adult rejects most of what I was taught in my formative years.

If you don’t believe in God, or you doubt the validity of the Bible as God’s book, none of what follows will be convincing to you, nor is it intended to be. What follows is a philosophical or at least theological discussion. I don’t think I have the ability to convince any non-believer of anything by arguing creationism. I wouldn’t insult your intelligence by trying since even if creationism was proved beyond a reasonable doubt (a task for Vox if he likes), that fact would do little to prove that the Christian God was in fact the creative force. Apologetics is a post for some other time.

I believe in a literal 24 hours in a day, 7 day creation just like Genesis claims. I believe the actual age of the earth is less than 25,000 years.

The reason is very simple. I made a choice to accept that Christianity is true and that the Bible is God’s revelation to man. In my previous post I mentioned that neither creationism nor evolution is science. The reason is that both evolution and creationism require faith. I also insist that it’s impossible for man to know in his lifetime which belief is true. So far no one is arguing convincingly against those points.

In the comments I challenged anyone to provide an example of an Old Testament story that was used as a parable or allegory. No one has raised to that challenge either. Yes Noah was mentioned, but the argument was that the story couldn’t be true because it contradicted man’s understanding of the methods employed. Waterboy, an admitted agnostic, correctly pointed out the flaw in that thinking.

The Bible does contain allegories, they are called parables. They occur in four books in the New Testament. As far as I can recall the parables of Jesus are the only stories that claim to be allegorical, or understood as such from the text. Of the stories He told only one, found in Luke 16, was not clearly taught as such. It is possible that this story is a parable, but it is also possible Jesus was recounting something He had first hand knowledge of.

As a work of literature the Bible contains many literary forms, most all of which are recognizable to the average person. These forms are:

  1. History, the events are recorded as fact
  2. Poetry, this includes songs etc the information sometimes conveys facts as well as emotion
  3. Prophecy, future events are foretold, sometimes as dreams or visions, much of which has occurred and is verified as historical fact
  4. Apocalyptic, strange symbols and language is employed to convey a cryptic message, events may or may not literal or representative of something else
  5. Letters/communications
  6. Wise sayings ie Proverbs
The Old Testament contains examples of most of the above literary forms, except allegorical material. The text its self claims to be presenting a factual historical retelling of events as they happened. I think its worth noting that the only cases of allegorical story telling are found in a historical factual retelling of Jesus’ sermon illustrations. Now this doesn’t mean everyone believes what is being said is true, but that is what the text claims.

The story of creation is found in Genesis. Which of the above literary forms does Genesis claim to be? Historical Fact.

The major criticism at this point, at least concerning the first two chapters of Genesis is that observable science seems to contradict the story we have. I don’t think that it does.

The criticism goes something like this:
"We observed in astronomy, geology, physics etc data that would indicate the world is older than 25,000 years. If the world is younger than the time it takes light to travel from a distant star system then god is using the material world to deceive man."

I don’t believe this is the case. First, our dating methods are suspect at best and largely unproven and unverifiable. Second, it is illogical to claim God is attempting to deceive anyone if He Himself told us he created things with the appearance of age.

Gen 1:14-19

14 And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so. 16 God made two great lights — the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good.


Point one, God created the light first according to the text. There is no contradiction in our seeing a light that He said was there. Point two, in the rest of the text it would seem that the creatures came forth as fully grown adults capable of reproduction. To me this indicates age. If God created a world with full grown creatures and a fully functioning ecosystem, and He told us that was what He did, then what we observe in the natural world is not in contradiction with His methods as literally described.

The Trip

The Upper Colorado River is a scenic bit of stream that wanders through some pretty mountains and valleys. We entered the river above a three mile stretch of water that appeared more like a looking glass than the torrent of death we hoped for. Trout were visible in the shallows. We were surrounded by ranch land. The scene reminded me more of a church group canoe trip than a great adventure. We paddled a relaxed pace till we reached a deep pool.

There were four of us in our raft; in addition to our guide, Waterboy, myself, and a girl that worked for the rafting company in reservations. We’ll call the girl Art Major, because that’s what she said her degree was in. Art seemed like a nice kid. She told us that she got to raft for free on her days off and she was looking forward to the trip. There is of course two sides to any story, and I have it on good authority (my imagination) that she was being forced to ride in our raft because she once let two old fat men book a trip on the Gore.

In order to run the Gore you have to pass a two part swim test. Part number one is a self rescue drill. The idea is to simulate being stuck underwater under the raft. The second part of the test is swimming a class III rapid. The idea is if you’re dumb enough to jump into a raging river rapid, you’re probably dumb enough to raft the Gore. The way the test works is you swim hard into the top of a small wave then roll over and float down to a take out point. You try not to bang into any rocks. I had to psych myself into it. Not really. I was being a gentleman and letting all the girls go first. Waterboy, who seems to lack some manners I might add, shoved his way to the front of the line and jumped right in.

We ran several solid IV and IV+ rapids, we caught a class V, named appropriately “Ball Breaker”. Ball Breaker has some nice waves on top and a small hydraulic at the end, right in the middle is a shoot that drops about 6 to 8 feet. If you’re in the back of the raft when you go through the shoot, you smack down hard on the water. Yes you can feel it. Art and Waterboy didn’t seem to mind. I wanted to ice myself, fortunately the water wasn’t to warm.

The waterfall was everything I expected and more. We didn’t gain sufficient speed as we entered the top of the run. I’m not sure if our guide over corrected or if we got caught in a spin at the top of the falls. Regardless of the cause, we ran the waterfall sideways. That’s not such a bad way to go over a waterfall, but at the bottom you come to a sudden and jarring stop. Art and I were on the side of the raft that hit the water at the bottom. I’m not sure how she exited the raft but at some point I did a back flip. We both went for a swim. I think I get extra points for the graceful acrobatics AND holding on to my paddle. I made a swim for the raft and grabbed for the safety line. Why the guide was laying down with his shoulder on the side of the raft is beyond me, but he was. My blind grab for a hand hold reached not the safety line but the top nylon strap on his life jacket. I pulled like my life depended on it; at least until I realized that yanking the guide out of the boat was counter productive. He recovered once I released my hold.

While my little drama was unfolding, Waterboy raced to rescue Art from being smashed on a big rock. By raced in that last sentence, I mean he flung himself across our somewhat vertically aligned raft, not unlike Superman flying down a mine shaft to save Lois Lane from falling. He heroically pulled her safely back into the raft. They toweled off, found their respective seats, had a nice chat, and fixed a spot of tea. Meanwhile, back in the raging torrent, your host had managed to get another hand hold (while never releasing his hold on the paddle). This time I was able to grab the raft and was starting to get myself back in when they fished me out.

It was one of the best times I’ve had on water. Art seemed a little bummed. She was hoping for a chance to meet a single guy, instead she got stuck with us. We told her about Eric. Frankly I’m not sure she’s his type. She pays more attention to hygiene, seems very nice, no chance for the menage au tois ala twins, no dread locks. The real let down for you buddy is that she has a lot more available if your boy was to give her one of his special “hugs”.

The run was the best and most physically challenging I’ve ever been on. It’s also the only run that has ever been able to unraft me. We’re planning on making the Gore part of next summer’s adventures. Join us.


They have pictures of us.

We are pictures 108 through 119. They don't have us in the waterfall, I'm not sure which rapid that was but it looks like a class V.

First Things First

OK. I know I've been remiss with the posting. I'm going to go for three today. These will be in the order I've been neglecting them.

First Post, Firearms. I managed to get to the range last week with the 45's. I've finally experienced recoil spring failure in the Kimber. It happened somewhere between 3,000 and 3,500 rounds. Not to shabby, considering they recommend you replace your recoil springs after 1,000 to 1,500 rounds.

On the riffle front, I took ,my new AR out for a sight in. I removed the scope that was on it and replaced it with a Burris 3x9. I made that change mostly because I had a Burris laying around and the scope that was on it was crap. Don't ever let any one tell you that Wolf riffle ammo is as good as anyone else only cheaper. I had a box and a half laying around and so I started my sight in with that. This target on the right is all Wolf 55 grain cheap stuff.
Save wolf for spray and pray or shoots where you just need to be on target but accuracy isn't too important. The target on the left is all Rem cheap stuff, also 55 grain. My first group with the Rem ammo came in sub moa.
Just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I kept trying.
Although my first day doing a sight in had to be cut short, it was still profitable and I fell pretty good about the new toy for tagging dogs. I want to set down and work with it at 200 to see how it goes. A little more practice should help me get used to the trigger and improve my groups. Over all not bad for a first sight in, I expect I'll be moving into 70 grain bullets at 2900 FPS but we'll have to see how they preform out past 200 before I use them exclusively.


Day of Truth

In just a few minutes I'm heading to Water Boy's house. Tomorrow we will get up early, head up the mountain and experience the whitewater trip of a life time. That is providing we survive the swim tests that we have to pass before we can raft the Gore. I expect we will pass, if from nothing else a determination that we won't lose our deposit.

Then it will start. We will spend the full day testing the currents, blasting through waves, trying not to high side or flip. We will willingly paddle over a 12 foot water fall. When its over we will either be dead or dead tired and deliriously happy. I am told that this is the most difficult and physically challenging section of whitewater in the lower 48. Tomorrow will tell if we beat it or if it beats us.

Note to Water Boy: I should be leaving town by 2:00. I'll give you a call when I make it to Cheyenne.


Friends vs Southern Friends

FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Always bring the food. And lots of it.

FRIENDS: Will say "hello."
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss. More
than one.

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad, and really mean it, too.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Cry with you. And for you.

FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together. Then do the dishes before leaving.

FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you. And most of the time know you better than you do yourself.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!" If you
are not home they will wait.

FRIENDS: Are for a while.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Are for life. And then some.

If one is deprived of Southern Friends, this will serve as
an excellent educational tool for why they need to look into the possibility.


If I had a Dollar...

I've watched Vox's threads on science vs creationism over the last several months but I've stayed out of the fray for two reasons, one I'm not at a computer when most of the commenting is going on and two, neither side ever says much that is terribly interesting or even relevant to the topic being discussed. If I had a dollar for every time someone totally missed the point on a blog post I'd be able to retire rich and debate on the internet all day.

Some facts we need to understand:

1. Creationism isn't science
2. Evolution isn't science
3. Creationism ≠ Christianity

Man has, at least for recorded history, tried to explain how he got here. Creationism is at its most basic form an explanation for man’s existence involving some higher power than man. Generally this involves a theology and some understanding of a god or gods who claim to have a say in the affairs of men by reason of being either; a) their creator or b) more powerful than man. Evolution is an attempt to explain man’s existence apart from any supernatural actions. Creationist’s claim divine revelation, evolutionist’s claim scientific method, each will use “proofs” but neither method is science.

If the two approaches to understanding how man got here aren’t science, what are they? The issue is not one of science but of philosophy. It will remain as such until man discovers a way to travel between the “Big Bang Breakfast Bar” and the “Restaurant at the End of the Universe”. Until that time all the idea’s we come up with concerning the origin of life and our purpose in it, will remain philosophical musings.

You may be able to step back, look at this, and agree, in terms of man’s knowledge, this topic will never be settled. Why do we seem able to spend so much time and mental effort on it? The creationist believes they are following the will of a god, and their actions will matter eternally. They of course have an entire theology they want you to embrace. The evolutionist doesn’t want to embrace a theology. He needs to demonstrate that man did not come from a god.

That’s why its important. If this was about two opposing ideas that had no further impact on ones life than a 7th grade science class lecture most of us would never give the creationism debate a second thought. Since the issue is much bigger, theology vs no theology, each side has a stake and neither can afford to be wrong. That’s also one of the reasons that evolutionary creationism is a joke, it’s a blending of two idea’s that are mutually exclusive at their premise.


Could We Get a Few More Storries Like This One?

Border Patrol Kills Smuggler - Mexico Pissed

Understand that I'm not making lite of this man's death. In fact, had the man shot been an American citizen I'd be calling for the cops head on a platter. But here's the cold hard facts, boarder patrol aren't cops, they are civilians employed to protect the national security of the United States. In years gone by this would be a military issue, today its a civil service job. If the man doing the shooting was a National Guards man in Iraq and he popped a sandnigger sneaking into that country GWB would be handing him a medal. We'll have to see how this story plays out. Considering how the administration handles incidents with boarder patrol officers engaged in gun fights with drug runners, I'm thinking not good. My guess is this guy is going to be sent to a jail with a high Latino population.

On the other hand if nothing happens to the shooter, and the word gets around Mexico that our boarder patrol is able to empty a mag into coyotes and get away with it, we might see a decrease in illegals risking the trip up north to Gringostan.

New Toys

I mentioned a while back at Nate's that I got a couple of new toys recently. Here they are.

The top riffle is a Bushmaster varmint rig with all the super accurized goodies including the 22 inch barrel. The bottom riffle is my first serious attempt into the world of long range gunning. Its a 7mm-08. According to the ballistics this riffle should be able to get me into the 2K club. At least thats the goal. I expect that meeting the goal will take me about 2 years. Which might be a little generous an estimate. You can't make a goal unless you set a goal and thats the one I'm setting.

What is the 2K Club? Thats a very small group of people who have a witnessed/certified 2,000 yard kill on a prairie dog. Considering that I haven't made the 1K club yet this is going to be a stretch of my marksmanship abilities. A 3in target isn't a easy thing to hit past about 300 yards especially when you consider how much wind we get here. Anyway that's the goal and I'll keep ya'll updated as I make progress towards it.

Right now I'm waiting on equipment and components. I ordered a new 20x scope for the 7mm and its on back order. I managed to get a good deal on both guns. I bought them used. Neither gun had been shot much. It seems that a local guy with a big gun collection had a daughter. She graduated from high school and they had to fix up the house for the graduation party, cha ching. Then she told mom and dad that she was getting married, cha ching and CHA CHING!. Apparently daddy was expected to foot the bill. Daddy dearest wants to retire someday so rather than go into debt or cash out investments he (I think his wife might have had some say in this) sold off a big chunk of his gun collection. I was there in a hart beat and picked up a good deal buying both guns and a scope for about 60% of the price of new. Let this be a lesson to those of you with girl children, start saving early for those things that you know you're going to pay for, otherwise some other guy is going to get your stuff for cheap.



Lutherans to allow pastors in gay relationships.
‘That is huge,’ says spokesman for 4.8 million-member church.
CHICAGO - Clergy members who are in homosexual relationships will be able to serve as pastors, the largest U.S. Lutheran body said Saturday.

The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America passed a resolution at its annual assembly urging bishops to refrain from disciplining pastors who are in “faithful committed same-gender relationships.”

The resolution passed by a vote of 538-431.

“The Church ... has just said, ‘Do not do punishments,’” said Phil Soucy, spokesman for Lutherans Concerned, a gay-lesbian rights group within the church. “That is huge.”

The ELCA, which has 4.8 million members, had previously allowed gays to serve as pastors so long as they abstained from sexual relations.

The conference also instructed a committee that is developing a social statement on sexuality to further investigate the issue. The committee is scheduled to release its report in 2009.

This doesn't surprise me too much. This situation is nothing more than the democratization/Americanization of church life. As soon as you bring the world's idea of "normal" into the church and accept it, the battle for a godly spirituality is lost. This unfortunate event isn't anything new in terms of denominational dysfunction, we've seen it happen to other groups before. I expect it will happen to other groups in the future.

One reason why churches have national boards (or what ever you want to call the big governing body) is to keep heresy out of the church. Thats not what is happening in practice. 538 Lutherans cast a vote that butt sex was more important than Biblical sexuality. Now if you want to be a ELCA member, you have to be accepting of that fact. But that must be what God meant for us to believe, because we VOTED ON IT. I'm sure the creator of the universe will take that into consideration next time he sets up a standard of what he expects from His creation.

I see the wisdom of the Biblical model of church government. Local elders governing local people according to their understanding of the Bible. Is that perfect in terms of out come? Nope. The local church messes up too. One benefit is that if one group goes screwy they don't take everyone else down with them. God no doubt figured this out before He set the system up in scripture. If you belong to a church that has a national governing board that gets to vote on what the Bible says, start looking for a new church now. This type of thing can happen to your church as well.


Famous People

Do you know any famous people? Every meet any? How about rich people? Put both characteristics together and you get the rich and famous. So how about it, ever meet, make friends with or otherwise come in contact with someone in a higher social class than yourself?

I have. More than once and a few are even people I consider my friends and would gladly welcome in my home. My reason for this has nothing to do with their notoriety or public life. Famous people are famous by definition because a large number of the general public know who they are. To me this isn't a big deal. People may know who you are, so what.

I have met some people on the national political scene. On the state and local level there are politicians that take my call and see me when I ask. I am acquainted with a number of people that have considerable more money and influence than I.

The larger the person's public status or their alleged wealth the greater the number of other people that seem to feel they have a right to the details of a intimate nature. In some cases, like persons seeking political power, certain details involving character are very important. For some reason the human race likes to "get the dirt" on others. In most cases its a matter of morbid curiosity and a deep seated desire to see someone with a slightly better life take a shot in the chops.

Three people come to mind right now. The first is a guy I know and had a negative experience with. He died and it's made international news. I was asked to attend the funeral. I declined. One is a friend of my wife. He's famous right now because he murdered his ex-wife and now has the attention of a news starved public. He'll soon slip from public attention but the damage his rage caused will rock our circle of friends for years to come. The last is a couple I "know" in a superficial way. They really aren't into the celebrity scene but they have a small amount of public attention. Recently some unfortunate events have happened to their family. When that information became public it turned into an opportunity for some mud slinging.

For some reason people like to see other people hurt. The more affluence, fame, or "Christian" that person is rumored to be the juicier the story and greater the glee in the feeding frenzy.

Here's the deal as I see it. You wouldn't care one bit about so and so's divorce, murder, legal problems, untimely death, kid turning out bad etc, if they weren't famous or richer than you. The issue isn't that some people with good lives have problems. The issue is some people take a special kind of satisfaction in seeing harm come to those perceived as their betters. Which is worse?


Here's the Deal

We have to act fast on this.

Those of you, and you know who you are, that NEED to get a whitewater fix, need to drop me an email right way.
Gore Canyon
is going to be open soon. Saturday rafting opportunities are limited to a maximum number of people per day. This is THE COLORADO WHITE WATER TRIP! I've been jonesing to do this trip ever since I discovered it existed.

Gore Canyon, the Colorado Classic. Gore Canyon takes you through five Class V rapids, such as the 12-ft. Tunnel Falls, pictured above. The flatwater paddle into the canyon provides stunning views of the craggy Gore Range mountains while your crew gets tuned up and ready to paddle together. After entering the canyon, there is no turning back. Many rapids await you, like Scissors, Kirschbaum, and Tunnel Falls, where scouting the falls and anticipating the drop is all part of the fun. A gourmet deli lunch is your reward after completing the Canyon. If you want to get your adrenaline flowing, this is the trip for you. Gore runs 8-11 through 9-2. Don't miss the best Class V rafting in Colorado!

Video can be found here.

Here's the deal, we need to book this trip fast if we're going to get it in this year. I want to make a decision and reservations by the end of the week. Drop me an email, phone call or a line in the comments. We'll try to do all the normal pre and post trip fun stuff but right now we need to book a date and put down the cash to save a spot on the river. Friday is the dead line to let me know if you want to go.

More info on the trip here.



This has been one busy summer. I've been swamped with projects. On the 4th I did manage to get away for the day. I went to do a little fishing and enjoy some time in the mountains.

These are lupine and some other white mountain flower that I don't know the name of. June is usually the best month for lupine but this year they stayed into July. Mrs. Ipsa and I try to get a trip in to see them at least once a year but this year she didn't feel like making the trip, secretly I think she wanted me to have a day off just to fish and unwind.

A young cut throat trout, he's only about 10 inches.

Our church has been without a minister since last fall. The last two quarters I've been filling in with the teaching and preaching on a regular basis. This helped motivate me to serve on the search committee. I think we found the right man. He's been published professionally and I for one am looking forward to some one on one instruction . I think he's a great man in the pulpit too. You gotta admit he's got a cool hobby.

My other full time job is Daddy. I've been investing a lot of time in this project. We play games. "Daddy chase the ball", "Airborne baby" and "Baby drop" are favorites. Other games are being discouraged like; "Turn the knobs on the stereo", "Stick stuff in the VHS and DVD player" and the most recent favorite, "Crawl as fast as you can, then rip all the books off the shelf and start crinkling them up". I'll be investing in kiddy proof locks for the drawers as soon as I remember to buy some when I'm in town.

Speaking of home improvement projects, I put in new steal garage doors and I'm working on a drip irrigation system. The garden needs major weeding and I haven't weed whipped the yard since April, and it shows. I made it out to shoot pistol league once, that night they called it off for the 4th. That was just as well, I decided to get in some practice and I sucked. You've got to pull the trigger regularly if you want to be any good. Life is busy but fun.

I haven't been around on the blogs much. I'm still working in the field. I used to have a blog topic pop into my head and since I was sitting near the computer I'd dash off a post. Now I compose posts in my head and forget to write them up at the end of the day. I hope your summer is going well and I wish the best for you and yours.


Police Comments

I wish I was a cop. Not really but it would be fun, in a cold, nearly evil sort of way to shoot off #1 as a one liner sometime.

These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the
one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that
means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to
do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether
you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn
dogs, and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets
a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief [of Police] Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

One last one:

I've had a REALLY bad day! I rear-ended a car today.


The driver got out of the other car and he was a DWARF!

He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well then, which one ARE you?"

That's how the fight started.


It's Driving Me Crazy

OK, some of these I get, some I've learned by trial and error. Some make no freaking sense at all. If you can, explain #41 to me, as well as how you figured out the right answer. Be warned this can take up some time.

Feel free to post helps and correct answers in the comments. It might be cheating, but I think its ok this time.


Can You See Me?

Extra points if you know the subject of this pic and post without scrolling down or enlarging the pic.

Can see me?

Can you hear me?

Touch me?

Feel me?

We'll I couldn't see him, not until he moved. I didn't hear him, because he made no sound. I did feel him as he struck and sunk two fangs in. I did make it a point to reach out and touch him with my brand new shovel.

It was just under 100 degrees at work today and this little guy was shading himself under a bit of plastic tarp that was supposed to be anchored down. I was hurrying trying to get done so I could get my work truck serviced in town before quiting time. I was walking up to my location and as I put my foot down I saw a snake strike. He hit the toe of my boot and retreated under the plastic. Then he rattled a warning. Freaking retarded snake didn't even know he was supposed to rattle first. Fortunate for me, my Danner's have steal toes. The rattler just chipped his tooth on my boot. This didn't keep me from mashing his head with a about three good wacks with the shovel. He wasn't as big as this guy. He came in at just 32 inches, and had 9 buttons on his tail.

If you look careful you can see his poison pouch and a fang, you'll have to enlarge it to see. Its on the upper right of his head. My job may be different than yours. The snakes at my work can kill, and they'll giver a try once in awhile. On the other hand, I can kill all the snakes at work and it won't have the human resources department running around trying to recruit more middle managers.


Home Again

I've been running like a mad man the last 3 or 4 weeks. Finally I have a weekend at home. Three weeks ago I took the wife to meet her parents for a visit. Secretly they just wanted to see the grand baby, but they made her feel welcome too. The following weekend was the rafting trip and the annual adrenaline rush. Then last weekend was the trip east to pick the wife and boy back up.

Last Friday night I had supper in a little town in South Dakota. Brandon SD, has a little restaurant aptly named the Brandon Steak House and Lounge. I observed that the parking lot was full of locals, I stopped. They offer a prime rib dinner. Its nearly impossible to screw up prime rib so I thought I'd go for slice of beef, rare, the way it should be. They offer two sizes, regular for $14.99 and a larger cut for $18.99. Like any place that cuts its own meat, they left the size of the portion off. I figured the big cut was a 16 or 18 oz slab of fatty goodness. I went for the big cut. This was a mistake. The meal came with a all you can eat salad bar. I loaded up. This was the second mistake. Then dinner came.

Have you ever eaten in a place that offers a 96oz steak and they claim that you can have it free if you can eat the whole meal in one hour? I always wondered if I could do it. I now know, I can't. The hunk of cow on my plate was three times bigger than any serving I every dreamed of taking on. Never less, I dug in determined to make it to a bare plate. My strategy was to immediately drop the home baked roll I had slabbed up with real butter and forget about it. 20 minutes latter I gave up on the baked potato, the trimmings were going to get left behind if I was going to kill off the bloody beef on my plate. After 45 minutes of my best effort, I was beaten, I had a easy 12oz of prime rib left over, a half eaten baked potato, all but one half of the rolls, and I was kicking myself for the plate of salad I ate earlier. I had eaten but I was beaten.

About two hours latter I got a call on the cell. Farmer Tom was wondering what my plans for the night were. As I was headed to a town near him, he offered his hospitality for the night and I pressed on to the goal of a good nights company and a comfortable bed. If he posts a picture that he claims is me sleeping in a very pink girls bedroom, its a fake, and he photo-shopped the unicorn in too.

The next morning he kept trying to feed me breakfast, not knowing of course that I had eaten a amount of beef equal to roughly every cow in Iowa the night before. Mrs. Farmer Tom makes a good blueberry muffin.

I picked up the wife and boy at Boondocks Iowa, that's a real place btw not a pseudonym I made up. I noticed that some things change when you have a baby. I once was able to make road trips in the time that the map said. For example, if the road atlas said it should take 24 hours to make a trip, I could nail it in 19 hours. The plan is simple, stop, stick the gas nozzle in the tank, whip it out (not the gas, the other hose) and help the local fire department put out a 4 alarm fire, get another jug of the DEW, pay and you're on your way.

Thats still the plan, but its more complicated now. Now you get gas, wait for the boy to eat, mess his diaper, and flirt with every female in the truck stop. Then you get to go down the road with the wife insisting that the posted speed limit is way to freaking fast and if you loved and cared for your family like she thought you would when she married you, you'd let the 95 year old man, or is that a women, its hard to tell when you can only see white hair above the steering wheel, driving the 77 Pinto pass you at 22 miles an hour. At the very next exit you have to stop for yet another booby break. This would be GREAT, but the booby is only available as food and not entertainment, since Ipsa Jr. didn't get enough at the last 1hr27min and 36 second break that we took not 49 minutes ago. Only six hours into the trip we stopped for the night in Mitchel SD, (2:45 pm) because somebody said he was tired and wanted to stop for the night. Now to my ears it sounded more like, "Hit the gas dad, I'm a boy with iron britches lets make er home". However since the boy speaks baby, momma seems to be the only one with the gift of tongues and her translation rules.

After a long week at work, I've got the weekend off again and I'm catching up on chores. The master plan is to get some things done and make it to the mountains on Wednesday for some fly fishing, alone. Its good to be home.


Rafting Report

Saturday was the 3rd annual white water rafting trip. This year we ran a slightly shortened trip on the Numbers section of the Arkansas. I anticipated having a blast on the water. It was. The water was running over 2,000 gpm, making it some of the fastest action we've seen on the front range in the last few years. Eric has a good post up about it too.

We had a camera man with us this year and he did get some shots. This one is of a group stopping to body surf through a hole that the water made in a large rock.

I wish we had more "action" pictures for you. The camera man, who shall remain nameless, seemed to have a fixation on a different subject, that or he was thinking of a different kind of action.
There are a large number of photos of our guide for some reason. The person on the right is Water Boy, I'm the second arm on the left. The gal blowing the kiss is our guide. She's originally from Tennessee. Her interests are, yelling loudly when excited, bossing men around and rafting. She is happiest when she can do all three at once. She kept talking about having a twin sister. I thought this was kinda of a multiple personality thing, you know a good sister and a slightly evil sister that comes out and scares people from time to time. Nope, she really has a twin sister, that looks just like her, right down to the dread locks. Anyway, one member of our party is apparently into twins, or at least rafting guides.

Back in my single days I also had a thing for twins. They were blond, looked alike except for the hair style and I slept with both of them at the same time, more than once. This happens from time to time. In my case it involved a camping trip, the girls parents and a large tent that we all had separate cots in. None the less, I slept with a set of very attractive twins one weekend in college. Where was I? Oh yes, rafting.

When you're on a trip with the gang its important to wear the right gear. Last year I took advantage of an opportunity to shrink my testicles by jumping in a river that was in the process of changing from snow pack to water. I would have turned to a popsicle and drowned if it hadn't been for the fact I was wearing a life jacket, that and ice floats. Water Boy was so impressed by last years stunt that he had to one up me this year. So he took advantage of the smallest little wave that we went through and "accidentally" fell out of the boat. Just remember kids, when you go rafting you never know what conditions you'll find, and its always important to wear protection.
For the record this was before we gave her a tip. After she got her tip there was an exchange of contact information. Also for the record, ALL the married guys were well behaved.

Dinner was a feast. Fillet and all the trimmings purchased "on base". The story of how this little detail of the trip came about is, at least for me, one of the best tid bits of the weekend. Normally the after rafting party is attended by throngs wishing to learn of our latest death defying feats. This year one of the admiring, was an older man prone to telling stories of his own. Towards the end of dinner, I looked over on a chair and noticed a ball cap. The hat was graced with three numbers and what looked to be a old pin that looked like a parachute.

"So, you were in the 509th", I said, ignorant of what the 509th was, beyond a military unit of some sort or the other. "Yes I am", he piped in, totally engaged in the conversation. "I made every goddamn jump in the war". It was hard to imagine this man, bent over with age jumping to anything more than a hasty conclusion. He continued, "We were the first ones to jump into battle". With pride he added, "I served with Yarborough, from the start". "Is that a fact", I stated, not having a clue who Yarborough was or why that was important. "Yes, I was in Africa, Italy and France," he said standing a little taller, his chest fuller.

I fully grasped two facts by this point. One, this man served in WWII and two, he thought he had really done something special. "Sir", I said sticking out my hand, "I'd be honored to shake your hand". He seemed taller. As he reached out to take my hand I added, "I'm pleased to know you". He replied, "I'm pleased to know you too". His grip was firm and strong, like a young man who is sure of himself. "Thank you for serving your country", I added.

I doubt you've ever wondered what America's first paratroopers looked like, standing at attention after being awarded their jump wings at Fort Bragg in 1942. Can you imagine their sense of pride and accomplishment? I know what they looked like. I saw it in Water Boy's dinning room. 65 years after the fact, I looked into the eyes of a 2o year old, who might not know what was coming next, but he knew he was ready and egger for it. I saw one of America's greatest standing like he had a steel rod running straight up his back. "Well thank you", he replied choking back his pride. You would have thought I just threw him a personal ticker tape parade.

I don't remember everything that was said in the intervening moments but I do remember him choking back something from deep inside. Then he said, "I'm one of two left alive". His eyes swelled and he ran out of things to talk about.

I retired to the deck to watch the fading of the day. Water Boy said to me, "It's true, he made all three jumps". After work today I took a minute to Google the 509th. I found this bit of history. Take a minute scroll down to the entry that says January 1944, its been mistakenly mislabeled, It should read January 1945. If you read nothing else read that one paragraph.

Now you know what it means to be one of two.

I had a blast this weekend and I'm already looking forward to the next trip. I hope to be able to say thank you and shake the hand of greatness again.