All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!


The Second Coming

The second coming........

of Tim Tebow that is.

It seems like just a couple of weeks ago I wrote my list for Top 10 Reasons Bronco's Need Tebow.  Now it looks like Tim may be playing football in Denver again.  Sadly its not for the Broncos but in a spring arena football league.

The possibility of the Mile High Messiah returning to play quarterback for Denver is mind-boggling, but not as far-fetched as it may seem.
A new spring, outdoor professional football league has been created and financed. Tebow's reps have been approached about the former Broncos QB playing in the league, and a franchise most likely will be awarded soon to Denver. ESPN, which now employs The Big Tebowski, will televise league games.
This will give die hard Tebow fans in Denver, something to cheer for.  It may even prove to be a very smart marketing move for arena football.  People seem to legitimately like Tim Tebow.  Perhaps having him on the team will increase the fan draw in a sport venue that has never caught on in the way that organizers have hoped.

A career path of NFL to ESPN is an acceptable retirement option for a man leaving sports.  It was a good choice for the young, popular and photogenic Tebow.  By all accounts Tim will keep the ESPN gig as his day job.  A career path of NFL to Arena Football is like saying all I can do is play ball and I'll keep at it till all I can do is coach JV. 

I don't know if its time for Tim to give up his NFL dream.  I don't see arena football as a spring board back to the Broncos.  Stranger things have happened.  I hope they do for Tim.  Maybe after playing ball in Denver again Bronco's management will see Tebow as a popular personality who benefits the team simply by being on it.  I'm not willing to make book on it.

Why is That?

Ever wondered why baby diapers have brand names like “Luvs” and “Huggies,” while undergarments for the elderly are called “Depends.”

There’s a simple explanation.

When babies go to the bathroom in their diapers, family members still want to “luv ‘em” and “hug ‘em.”

When the elderly go to the bathroom in their diapers, who luv's em “depends” on who’s in the will!


Al Gore

I realize beating up on Al Gore is a lot like beating up on the little kid getting off the short bus, but I can't help it.

Gore: Dust Bowl coming unless we act
“Think about that,” he said. “The Dust Bowl is coming back, quickly, unless we act.”
Gore conceded the possible fatigue some may have with his warnings, as well as the possible sense of powerlessness as to what any one individual can do to affect what appear to be vast, unchangeable trends.
“Do we really have to do this and — if the answer is yes — can we do it?” Gore said, repeating two questions he routinely hears.
“The answer to both of those questions — spoiler alert — is ‘yes.’ ” 
Al Gore is wrong again, still.  Saying he is wrong isn't really accurate.  Being wrong would entail an honest mistake.  Al Gore is engaged in fraud.  When you build an entire "industry" on the concept of carbon trading and you stand to make a tidy profit off of getting companies to pay you to buy carbon credits, you have an incentive to lie to get others to go along with you.

What Al hasn't said, because he doesn't care, is that there is a real parallel to the 1930's going on today.  The economy is as bad as the great depression.  This is being caused by the very people Al wants to put in charge of fixing the world, bigger government.  The fact that big government is the force destroying America (and almost every place else) is of no concern to Al. 

Is there a threat to the United States food supply?  Yes I believe there is.  That threat isn't related to global warming.  That threat goes back over 40 years to a series of food supply related policies under the Nixon administration and has been followed by every administration since, and magnified under the Obama administration.

So what did Nixon do?  Tricky Dick was faced with a potential problem as reelection time neared.  That problem was the price of sugar.  It was going up.  Back in the 60's America still had housewives (google it, they were great creatures, almost extinct now), housewives cared very much about the price of things they used to feed their families.  The price of sugar was going up, a lot.  The housewives of America were concerned.  There is a second piece of the puzzle.  That piece has to do with corn prices and production.  Production was up, prices were down, farmers were unhappy.  A solution presented its self in the form of advise from Earl Butz.  Fast track High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) into the market place.  This accomplished a reduction in the price of cane sugar and made the agricultural lobby happy. 

When it came to food prices at election time Nixon wanted to "take the issue off the table".  It must have seemed like a big win for the R team.  The outcome for America has been a net loss.   It is considered politically correct to kick Dick Nixon around and blame him for America's woes.  I think that's why we are hearing about the government link with HFCS.  HFCS turns out to be one of the leading culprits in America's obesity crisis.  That's not half the problem.  The government tinkering in artificial foods has lead to other questionable practices in the AG industry.

I don't have the space in one post, or the inclination, to go into the whole Franken-food issue.  The larger point is that every administration since Nixon has engaged in the same type of policy decision making.  Every single one of them has voted/signed/promoted the idea that the government tinkering on a case by case basis can do things better than the market.  In the case of genetically modified food, they believe they can do a better job than God.  In case you didn't know Obummer signed into law (a law voted on and passed by Republicans and Democrats alike)  a special provision for the AG industry, that even if/when GMO foods are proven harmful, they cannot be sued or face other court action, ever.   How's that for a bipartisan win?

We can't fix AG issues by blaming CO2 emissions.  Just like we can't fix the budget deficit by taxing health care.  Of course you can't fix companies laying off workers by making them promise that they aren't laying off workers because they can't afford to pay for the health care. 

To paraphrase Ron Reagan:
A recession is when your neighbor losses his job.  A depression is when you lose yours.  A recovery is when Obama, the congress and 80% of Federal employees lose theirs.

If you really want to "fix", as in make something better, in American public policy, the answer is get the government out of it.  You don't fix big government problems by making another branch of the government bigger, or by passing more laws.


Gun Show Saturday

I went to my first gun show of the year this weekend.   I took Res Jr.  He says he likes gun shows better than he actually likes gun shows.  He is good for about 30 min now, which is an improvement over past years.

Some observations: 

At the door the show organizers had several signs up requiring all guns brought into the show be declared and unloaded.  They made it a point that this INCLUDED people with a concealed carry permit.  The signs also gave an explanation that it was because of their insurance company's policy.  This is fair as far as it goes.  They don't want people wandering in with loaded unsecured firearms and other people handling them, it creates a risk.  Two problems.  1. WYO is a constitutional carry state.  2. WYO law only restricts 11 places that you can't carry a concealed loaded gun.  The county owned facility where the show was held, isn't on the list.  Several people were flaunting the "rules".

There were plenty of firearms on sale.  Ammunition was readily available, although more expensive than I remember.  Components were available.  One vendor had approximately 8 tables worth of brass, primers, bullets and powder.  Since when are 8lbs kegs of powder going for $225? 

One thing I noticed that seemed out of place for our local show, was a large number of premium firearms on display.  There were lots of tables of high end Kimber, Sig, and Colt stuff.  Also spotted were several Barrett rifles in the $6,000 to $12,000 range.  Class III and silencers were readily available and in stock.

One "feature" that some gun show events companies have decided to add as a "bonus" is a arts and crafts section.  I don't mean stuff that at least in WYO is somewhat theme related, like Indian jewelry.  They bring in candle makers and quilters.  Its all chick crap.  Which is OK to a point, provided they keep it separate like they do most of the time.  However this show they just had to put a couple of tables in with the gun stuff.  This creates an unmanageable problem when a gaggle of hens take over the entire aisle and refuse to let anyone pass through or look at any of the neighboring tables, because "you just have to see this one Sally".  

Women at gun shows should only be there as, buyers, companions for their man, or preferably doing scantly clad product demonstrations.  Smelling soy candles, gawking at ear rings and fawning over foo-foo crap has its place.  We call that place a mall.  I don't go to your mall and clean my guns, don't come to my gun show and pick out silverware patterns. Yes Really!


Good on Her!

One of the "arguments" I've heard the anti gunners use is: "why would anyone need an 'assault rifle'"?

The answer is "to shoot bad guys".  That's not the only answer but it is a very good one.

The so called "assault rifle" or "tactical rifle" or "black gun", is supposed to be extra scary because, they are, and hoplophobes  are scared of such things.  Yes, that little exercise in rhetoric demonstrates the depth of the liberal mind when it comes to the topic.

Is it right to shoot bad guys with so called "assault rifles"?  The Detroit Police think so.

Mom opens fire on home invaders in Detroit to defend children
The mother tells 7 Action News she "didn't have time to get scared." When she heard the door to her home on Woodrow Wilson being kicked in, she immediately warned the three teenage intruders and then opened fire.
One of the teens dropped a handgun on his way out the door. He then tried to get back inside the house a second time, but was again met with gunfire. Once again, he took off and all three were arrested shortly after the incident by Detroit Police.
UPDATE: Detroit Police Chief reacts, says, "She did the right thing."
 You have to watch the video to learn some interesting facts:
1. The gun she had is an "assault" rifle.  The reporters omitted that "fact".  You'd have to ask them why.
2.  The women in the story is black.  I think that is only important in light of point #1.
3.  The victim claims she wasn't scared, or in fear for her life.
4.  She pulled the trigger before she knew they were armed.
5.  She can't shoot worth crap.
6.  Security cameras don't stop jack.

For those of you who don't know, back in the late 1960's Detroit enjoyed an extended block party that ended up with the Michigan National Guard driving tanks down Woodward Avenue to "quite things down a bit".  Some history books refer to this as "the Detroit Race Riots".  The reason the state of Michigan instituted handgun registration and limited concealed carry was to "keep guns out of the hands of the niggers".  Interestingly when Michigan started giving out more concealed handgun permits it was a black mayor of Detroit, Coleman Young, who was opposed to it.

The left, aka Democrats, have a real fear of blacks and guns as demonstrated in the Black NRA parody:

The liberals are wrong.  Every law abiding black in Detroit, and NYC, LA, etc should own and have readily available guns.  I mean any gun they want.  I mean loaded.  You know what would happen?  Crime rates would drop, dramatically.  You know why?  Black criminals don't just prey on whites.  Mostly they prey on other blacks.  Criminals go after targets of opportunity, in the black community, they rob, rape and kill other blacks.  Those black victims should have every means available to fight back.

This is what Michigan Ave in Detroit looked like circa 1920's.  Would you have felt safe?
I would have.
This is what it looks like today. 
Feeling safe?  Safer? Wondering how the heck you get back on Lodge and beat it out of there?  Ya, me too.

Instead of taking guns away from the black community, we should be teaching them how to use them.  I don't mean hunters safety.  I mean combat shooting drills.  I want good people to be able to stop bad people.  I want the black inner city to be as safe as my rural community.  Incidentally, I don't know anyone who doesn't own a gun.  Seriously, everyone I know in my town owns at least one gun.  Including my minister.  He has a recorded and published 1 mile kill.  I feel totally safe.  I want that for all Americans. 

Here is my offer to the lady in the news report, if you ever find yourself in WYO, please stop by my place.  I'd be honored to help you with your gun handling skills.  You deserve to be able to protect yourself.  You deserve to be safe.  Good on you for doing what you did.  May the rest of Detroit go and do likewise.

*FWIW when that picture of Michigan Ave was taken in the 1920's you could buy a Thompson sub machine gun by mail order and the postman would bring it to your house, even in Detroit.  No ID, no background check required.


Making Cars

The only auto manufacturing plant I've worked for was owned by the Japanese.  I've been in other plants.  I've been in GM and Ford facilities.  Although I've not been through all of it, I have been on the docks at Ford's River Rouge plant and seen cars come out the other end at Dearborn.  I have a tremendous respect for the industry and I recognize its importance in the 20th century.  While I don't consider my self an expert on the auto industry, I'm not a novice either.

The headline for this story caught my eye:

VW workers may block southern U.S. deals if no unions: labor chief

The first rule of understanding Labor Unions, is if the labor organizer is saying it, its probably a lie.  If a newspaper is reporting it, its probably a bigger lie.  Earlier this month workers at a VW plant in Tennessee voted to not let the UAW organize in the plant.  That means that the workers believe that they are better off without a union, or at least without the UAW.  No one has explored why this is.  Maybe the workers have seen what the UAW and its policies have done for Detroit and Flint Michigan.  Maybe they don't feel like forking over a couple of hours pay to make UAW fat cats fatter.  Whatever the reason they told the UAW to take a hike.

Since the UAW can't recognize that they are bad for industry, jobs and the economy they are restarting the campaign to unionize the plant by making it appear that the management at VW won't build more plants in the southern US unless they are unionized.  They point to the company culture at VW that utilizes a "Workers Council".  What they don't say is that the plant is perfectly capable of having a "workers council" without the UAW.

We had something similar to a workers council when I was a shop rat.  They called them efficiency committees.  The Japanese management team was very serious about the concept. 

The plant I worked for built window regulators.  Those are the things that make the window in your car go up and down.  I built the right hand side regulator for the Ford Escort. 

My job was running a spot welder that fastened mounting brackets on to the main rail.  My job consisted of place a rail, place two brackets, hit the buttons, watch it weld, put the part in the parts bin, repeat.   We had a very efficient team of warehouse guys that would move the parts bins around and make sure everyone had what they needed.

The warehouse guys would bring me rails and brackets form the stamping department and then take my bins to the various lines where they would finish assembling them.  That was the system.  One of the ladies working the line directly behind me on the plant floor ran out of assembled rails, on two different days.  I don't remember why the forklift guys didn't get the parts moved on time but they didn't and this almost caused the line to go down.  Stopping the production line is one of the cardinal sins of the auto business.

In her desire to not get in deep doo doo for letting the line run out of parts, she came over to me and asked me to carry a bin of parts over to her work station.  A full parts bin  was much to heavy to carry by hand.  Someone quickly found a 4 wheeled dolly and helped me put a partial bin on it and wheel it over to the line.  The line stayed up and the day was saved.  Till it happened a second time.

That's when the efficiency committee was brought in.  They investigated.  They talked to everyone involved.  They checked out if I had made enough parts (I had several bins ready to restock the lines), they checked out what the forklift guy was doing (he wasn't goofing off).  Then they asked her, I can't remember her name, what she thought could be done to fix the problem.  Her suggestion was to place the spot welder closer to the line so they wouldn't have to wait for the fork lift.  Nobody else had a better solution.

You know what plant management did?  They got the engineers looking into what it would cost to move a multi-million dollar welder and redesign the floor layout.  I am convinced that they would have done it too.  Part of the decision making process was to bring the full efficiency committee together to  evaluate the solution.  As they contemplated the situation someone from stamping mentioned that they used roller counters to move the bins around their department (a roller counter is a metal counter with lots of little moving wheels that makes sliding heavy bins easy).  A couple of days latter there was a roller counter installed, with the promise that if it didn't work management would consider moving the spot welder.  It worked.  I went to college in the fall. 

VW knows these types of working groups are good for the company.  VW knows that they can form these kinds of groups by letting people working in the different departments select their co-works to represent them.  No one needs the UAW to oversee the process.  I suspect that is exactly what they will do.  As for the bit about VW not wanting to build another plant in the US, BS!  What company wouldn't want to build its cars in an environment where the workers are happy and don't want some professional agitator messing things up for them?  In case no one noticed, there were tens of thousands of square feet of industrial space available in the rust belt that VW could have acquired cheaper than building a plant in Tennessee.  Labor laws and the labor culture suck in those states.

Comedian Convention

Someone brought a visitor and the new fellow sat fascinated as the funnymen shouted out numbers: "56!" "923!" "307!"

Each time a number was called, the others would laugh and laugh.

Finally he asked his host, "What are the numbers for?" The other man explained, "Oh, we've been coming to these conventions for so long, everyone knows all the jokes. We just categorize them by number and then save time by using the number alone."


*ENDING #1:* The visitor thought this was an interesting idea and decided to try it himself. So the next time there was a pause, he stood up and called out, "468!" The others roared with laughter. He waited, then called out, "22!" and again everyone roared. Then he called out, "829!" and there was a dead silence, except for one guy in the fourth row, who laughed so hard that he fell off his chair and rolled on the floor, seemingly unable to stop.

The visitor poked his host and whispered, "How come he's laughing and the others aren't?"

The host whispered back, "Oh, that's because he never heard that one before."


*ENDING #2:* The visitor thought this was an interesting idea, so he stood up and called out, "468!" and no one laughed. There was a dead silence.

Puzzled, he turned to his host. The other man looked away, sniffed, and said condescendingly, "Some people just don't know how to tell a joke."


Brave Cops

I was brought up to respect the police and to think of them as bravely helping and defending people.  The cops were in my mind "the good guys".  We didn't have cops in school when I was a kid, unless it was for career day.  Then they came in and submitted themselves to school boy curiosity and endless questions.  We thought they were cool.  They could drive fast.  They got to carry guns.  The uniforms were official looking.  The badges, well the badges conveyed authority and power.  You had TO BE someone special to have that badge.

That's the way I was brought up.  Cops good.  Bad guys bad.  Cops help good people.  Cops stop bad people.  The other thing I remember was that cops were good because they played by the rules.  The cops didn't just stop the bad guys, they did it by the rules. As a kid I didn't understand "civil rights".  I did have respect for "the rules", whatever those may be.  Doing good stuff for good people and stopping bad people from doing bad stuff by following the rules made cops brave, and good.

For the most part TV and movies backed this up.  Andy Griffith was a good cop.  Even when cops weren't the hero's of a story, like sheriff Roscoe on Dukes of Hazard, it was for a laugh, not because they were really bad.  Things started to change on TV and movies with the cops.  The hero cops were the guys who didn't "play by the rules".  The reason was drugs.  Drugs were so bad that anything a cop had to do to stop them was justified.  It was no longer possible to keep good people safe, unless they broke the rules.  Don't worry the cops always know who the bad people are, at least in the movies.

Something changed in police work.  Once a cop had to be at least a little brave to do his job.  It takes a certain amount of guts to wait for the bad guy to actually do something bad before you arrest him.  The cops don't wait anymore.  They assume whomever they are in contact with is a lethal threat, no matter what they observe.  They no longer use any sort of reasonable standard of observation or fact collecting.

Police Beat, Stun Deaf Man After Confusing Sign Language With Threatening Gestures
Jonathan Meister was retrieving some stuff he was storing at an ex-roommate’s home when he looked up to find several members of the Hawthorne Police Department approaching.
The South Bay man claims officers didn’t give him a chance to explain what he was doing before placing him in handcuffs, beating him and using a stun gun to shock him into submission.
Beating up a deaf guy isn't brave, it is almost as chicken-shit as it comes.
The situation deteriorated from there.
Police put Meister in handcuffs and officers say he began struggling.
That bit about struggling is the bit that the cops use to justify the beat down.  If you are struggling, or trying to use sign language, that's resisting arrest.  Resisting arrest is what justifies using the stun gun and beating you with batons etc.   In case you didn't catch it, the guy was cuffed BEFORE they started beating him.  That's not just chicken-shit, that's about as cowardly as you can get.

The phrase "brave men in blue" has at least two problems.  I've looked and I can't find the word "brave" defined anyplace as "beating a helpless man who can't fight back by a number of strong men with guns".  Maybe you can, if so leave a link in the comments.  Second, the word "man", normally denotes some sort of a mature, responsible and competent male.  Anyone who can't figure out that a deaf guy that can't talk, is deaf and can't talk in the first 30 seconds of trying to talk to him, isn't a smart enough to be a man.  He's not smart enough to be a cop either.

Despite the fact that the cops beat up a deaf guy, for being deaf and not able to talk to them, nothing will likely be done to the cops.  The victim is white.  He'll sue, he'll get some money, likely after the lawyers figure out the cheapest way to buy him off.  The deal will be done with a non-disclosure clause and the story will be forgotten. 

For what its worth:
Police initially charged Meister with assaulting officers but those charges were eventually dropped.
How generous.  I don't know ASL.  I do know one "sign".  It involves using one finger on one hand.  I would never consider giving it to Sherriff Andy Taylor or his deputy, they were brave men.  Too bad we don't have them around.


Important Day

Does anybody know what historic event happened this day in history?

Hint it happened at 11:11 PM 8 years ago.


Of Little Boys

The ancient lords living in Babylon had it made.  The capital city provided every pleasure imaginable.  Every decadence was at ones beckoning.  In ancient Egypt it was the same for the ruling class.  If you were on the top levels of society anything you wanted was a finger snap away.  The same was true in Greece and in its turn Rome.

The men who ruled civilization had the best of everything, every food, intoxicant, and every sexual pleasure was available at any time.  Life is good when you are on the top.  How did these men get to be on the top?  At first they got there by starting at the bottom and as a result of their values, hard work and some sword play they clawed their way to the top.  When you have it that good it's only natural to want to leave it to your sons.

The problem was that as they looked around at their sons they didn't like what they saw.  It seems that luxury and vice as a boy breeds lazy and incompetent men.

The Egyptians came up with a system where the sons of the pharaoh, the nobles, the priests were schooled together without regard for rank.  The boys played together, worked on school assignments, and engaged in the training required to run Egypt.  When it was time for the next generation to take over, they knew (in theory) which of their classmates were able and reliable men that could be trusted to administer the kingdom.  In a sense this system still exists today.  Certain elite prep schools are known for getting their graduates in to specific ivy league schools.  Those top universities are then the selecting grounds for government and corporate leadership.

The Babylonians had a slightly different approach.  The motto was that a boy should "ride, shoot straight and speak the truth".  That might sound more like something John Wayne would say, but they said it first.  The program worked by sending the sons away form the capital.  Then the boy's tutors would train them to live off very little food, work very hard, endure hardship and learn to be "real men".  When they were older they would return to their fathers side and work with him, learning his duties so that when he retired/died they would be ready to fill his job.

Every culture has had a method and a rite of passage for boys to become respectable men.  The bible has passages about how to raise children.  The Greek city states each had their own program.  In more modern times military service and apprenticeship did the job.  In the British navy everyone was subject to ships discipline.  The young prince or nobleman's son was read into the service, after which if he screwed up in his duties, he found himself stripped out of his breeches, bent over a cannon and receiving a dozen stripes from the bos'n mate's cane.    20 years latter that boy might be running the whole admiralty with several fleets of ships at his disposal.  His views on the navy weren't based on watching TV.  He knew what it was to be cold, tired and to have the ships company see his ass whipped red for falling down on the job.

The American Indian had their rituals.  The Jews have the bar mitzvah.  What do American boys have?  They used to have military service.  My grandfathers proved their manhood in World War II.  My father had Viet Nam.  My generation had Pac-Man high score.  We had sports and scouts and some of us hunt and climb mountains etc but by and large the rites of man hood are gone.  We sort of have rites of passage.  "Sort of" is exactly the right descriptive.  Graduation form high school is "sort of" an achievement.  Everyone does it, if they show up for class and don't create a problem.  College is more of the same now.  Pay your tuition, hang out, drink beer and graduate.

Before the male child becomes a victim of the evil Female Socialization Complex (FSC), he knows what he wants.  He wants to become a man.  Ridding a horse well was what a man did.  Babylonian boys wanted to ride that horse.  Shooting, be it a bow or a gun, is what men do.  The boy in the British navy who was about to get his first beating would sometimes get advice from the older men on how to bear up under the punishment.  If he didn't scream or cry out they respected him.  The tears?  Those didn't matter, he couldn't help that.  If he kept still and took it without complaint, he was a man.  If the bos'n mate had been especially hard with the beating, the older men might even slip the boy a part of their cherished rum ration to help him recover.

You can see something amazing in a little boys eyes.  Look closely.  Do you see it?  It's not mischief.  It's not some devilment or acting out.  It's the spark of life its self.  He wants to be, to do, to become.  What does it take to be a man?  The little guy might not even have the vocabulary to ask the question yet.  He is asking it.  With every fiber of his being, he is asking it. 

Someone is answering the question.

If the question is answered by the FSC, the answer is not only wrong, its evil.  Boys do not need to be like little girls.  We have creatures who are supposed to play quietly while mom is on the phone, build and nurture relationships and care about feelings and stuff.  We call them girls. 

We have these other creatures who want to know how stuff works, so they take it apart.  They want to do and see.  They want to defend right and protect those they love so they play at being "the good guys" and they fight "the bad guys".  They don't set quietly.  They run and yell.  They eat huge amounts of food.  They fart and burp at the table. They will pick a fight just to see who is stronger.  As soon as they learn to ride  a bike they look for things to "jump" it off.  They make stuff with Legos.  If they get ahold of firecrackers they will blow up the stuff they made. 

You can domesticate the human male, but you should never try to tame him.  Boys cannot be made safe.  There is nothing safe about a boy.  There is only energy.  Teach the boy how to control that energy.  Never try to take it from him.  If you do you will rob him both of his manhood and the spark of life itself.

IF you tame him, he will live at home in the basement till you die and leave him the house.

IF you tell him that he will become a man and how to do it, he will.  That energy will focus one day.  He will learn all about something and become very good at it.  He will build something unique called a life.  One day he will discover that the thing hanging inside his pants likes girls.  He will chase one until she catches him.  His energy will focus on the 3 P's of civilization, Providing, Protecting and Procreating.

Let your little boy, be a boy.  One day he will be a man.  Train him up and he will be a good man. 

One day, when that little boy has little boys and girls of his own, if a bad man comes around, he will handle it.  When hardship hits, he will deal with it.  When his little boy asks, "What does it take to be a man?".  He will show him with his own life.

Todays little boy is tomorrows great-granddad.  Make him one you can look down from heaven and be proud of. 

Cruel to be Kind

A nun stepped out of the doctor's office, saying her rosary rather loudly as she hurried down the hospital corridor.

Another doctor witnessed this, and went to ask her doctor about it.

"Hey, what happened?  The nun ran out of her praying her rosary as though it were the end of the world!"

"Oh, I just told her she was pregnant." The first doctor replied.

"Oh my!  Is she?"

"No, but it sure cured her hiccups!"


Shirley Temple, Dead

Shirley Temple died of natural causes today at age 85.  I only remember her movies because my grandmother loved watching them and would have them on when we visited.  There was only one TV in a house in those days the custom (i.e. the belt) dictated that the owner of the house got to do what ever they wanted.  I watched the Little Rascals, I love Lucy, and the Bob Newhart Show as a kid for the same reason.  Thankfully I was allowed to go do something else when her other "stories" aka the soaps came on. 

Ms. Temple was a childhood star, best remembered for being cute at a time when things were grim.  As she grew up, she remained attractive but lost that charm that made her a big star.  She never grew her audience as she grew older and so while she had one of the most recognizable celebrity names of her generation, she lost her acting career.  She did what sensible young women did in those days, she got married, settled down and raised a family.  Life wasn't perfect she divorced her first husband.  The second time around she made it work and stayed married till "death us do part".  Shirley wasn't perfect but she was successful outside of the movie studio and had both corporate and a small political career. 

Contrast her to two other celebrities in the news recently.  Phillip Seymour Hoffman, was found with the needle still in his arm.  I don't know how his career would be classified, if it was up or down, either way he was unable to handle the same Hollywood stress as a teenage girl.  The other is childhood star turned sluty attention whore Miley Cyrus.  Shirley Temple had a more respectable method of hitting puberty than is common today, she got married at 17.  It seems that she reserved her twerking for her husband.  To my knowledge there are no Shirley Temple sex tapes or nude threesome photo's floating around out there. 

I'm not canonizing Mrs. Temple.  However she did seem to have a tad more dignity than the current generation of entertainers.  I'm kinda glad grandma made me watch grainy black and white Saturday afternoon movies of a little girl tap dancing.  I didn't know it at the time but I was seeing a touch of class.


Dingbat Alert!

I've not done an Archie Bunker rant is awhile.  It's time.

From Buffalo NY.
A Buffalo, N.Y. community activist who is well known locally for pushing for a highly restrictive 2013 gun control law has been arrested for — wait for it — carrying a gun illegally at a public elementary school.
Experts Increasingly Contemplate End Of Smoking
ATLANTA (CBSMiami/AP) — Health officials have begun to call “end game” on cigarette-smoking in America.
They have long wished for a cigarette-free America, but shied away from calling for smoking rates to fall to zero or near zero by any particular year. The power of tobacco companies and popularity of their products made such a goal seem like a pipe dream.
Guns, ya gotta love guns.  Even if you don't own any you gotta love them.  What other inanimate object brings out such blatant hypocrisy in the bed wetter class? 

"Community activist" is code for communist member of democratic party, grievance agitator, a professional member of the left wing nut, busy body association.  He is a man (wait I can't call someone who makes a living off of grant money and telling other people what to do a man) a boy (can't say that either, then I'm a racist) an old women with a penis, a superiority complex and clinical dissociative decreolization disorder, actively keeps others from carrying a gun, at school, then does the same thing. 

How does a mind like this work?  "Guns are bad".  "Guns at school are bad".  "Lets pass a law keeping people from taking guns to school".  "Now when I go to school I'll be the only one with a gun, this is good". 

I'm not saying people shouldn't have guns at school.  I think they should.  Teachers should have guns.  Parents should have guns.  If the kid is over 18 he should have a gun too.  Let everyone in a public school carry a gun.  It's a public school.  Everyone who loves their kids got them out 20 years ago.  If not, and the parents think its safe, let them send their kids there.  It's not my place to say they can't. 

For what its worth, I think the police responded correctly.  They called out the SWAT team, the military grade equipment and were ready to shoot on sight.  Good for them.  This is the correct response for any time a psychopath, mental defective, Nazi, democrat gets within 100 yards of the education system.  Too bad we weren't doing this in the 50's.

He wanted it to be a felony to carry a gun into a school.  Let's see if he does any time for his crime.

Smoking.  Holy crap are cigarettes bad for you?  I hadn't heard the news.  The "experts", (how does one become a smoking expert, don't you have to smoke?) are now contemplating the end of smoking.  Well whoop de do!  Despite what they are saying, this is bad for America.  Let's break it down.  Social Security was based on everyone dyeing between the ages of 55 and 65.  That's why they picked 65 as the retirement age.  The government didn't save or invest any of those SSI taxes they collected.  They spent nearly all of it on high end hooch and hookers for congressmen.  The rest of it they wasted. 

In order for social security to "work" (other than in the sense it bilked generations of Americans into paying into a system from which they can't hope to receive a substantial benefit) people have to die off in large numbers BEFORE they reach age 65.  That's how it works.  The government collects money that they never intended to pay back to you, you die and they keep spending other peoples money, all in the name of providing for you.  It's a freaking brilliant con, unless of course people quit smoking and live longer.  If that happens social security goes broke and all those old people will have guns and they won't be happy.

Which is why we have to legalize pot.  If the broke boomers can stay high then maybe they won't notice that the checks aren't coming.  Marijuana has more cancer causing chemical per oz than a box of cigars, or so I'm told.  Maybe if we hurry up and get everyone smoking pot, instead of evil tobacco, we can save social security. 


Warrior's Code

"Rough Justice" is what one writer has called the treatment of Danny Nightingale.  Yes what's happened to Danny is rough.  No it's not justice.  Sergeant Danny Nightingale is one of the worlds elite snipers.  His career has been the taking of human life.  That is what the army taught him to do.  He relished his army service so much that he joined one of the worlds elite special forces units.  Apparently he was good at his job.

Then he came home. On a Friday afternoon in September of 2011 the police, working a tip form his roommate's estranged wife, came and searched his home for an illegal gun.  They found two.  His roommate had one in his possession and Danny apparently had a glock handgun and over 300 rounds of ammo for it.

The roommate, whose name has not been released, admitted to being the owner of one of the guns.  He didn't want to fess up to owning two of them, because he thought it might make him look bad.  He was sentenced and has done his time.  Danny also has served 18 months prior to winning an appeal.

One pistol and less than 7 boxes of ammo.  I've got more pistol ammo than that on hand in my house.  Hell, I've shot more ammo than that in a single afternoon's worth of drills.  I'm nowhere near being one of the worlds elite special forces operators. 

The big deal is in Great Britain home of the Special Air Services, guns are illegal.  They are especially illegal if the women who is divorcing your buddy is looking for some extra leverage.  Cops care about these things when the soon to be ex calls in the complaint.  Did the women know her husband was SAS?  Oh yes.  Did the cops?  Yeah.  The reason they rented the house is because it's just off base and these men are required to be deployable with 30 mins notice to kill Britain's enemies.  That's the job, killing people, with guns or bombs or by whatever means necessary.

At first Danny confessed to owning the gun, then he recanted.  Danny it seems has a memory disorder that the SAS has known about since 2009.  That's right, he has a medically recognized aliment, that the powers that be at SAS knew about before the incident with the glock. 

After Danny's mate refused to own up to two guns, the army's lawyers "helped" Danny remember it was his and confess to owning a gun that he can't remember how it came to him.  Danny was convicted in a court martial.  With his life in ruins Danny started fighting back.  He fought back in court, winning a new civilian trail.  He fought back in the press.  Even Britain's professional politicians saw he was being railroaded and they debated his predicament on the floor of the House of Commons. 

At some point, people who could make a difference realized that Danny didn't do the crime.  Now he is free, his name is clear and he is persona non grata with the SAS.  The army is kicking him out too.  The whole hit on the head thing from back in 08 that causes his memory issues, is embarrassingly public knowledge.  Danny is being medically discharged.  He is in debt for his legal fees and will likely loose his house.

What about Danny's mate?  He did his time.  He is a member in good standing with the SAS, despite his crimes.  The difference between the two men is that Danny spoke up, in doing so he broke the code.  The second man, whose name we will likely never know, kept the code despite breaking the law and taking his friend down with him.  He will be protected.  Danny, who will have his honor, will forever be worse than an outsider, he will be a traitor.

The code doesn't have to make sense, but it is the code.


Jay's Last Day

Tonight is Jay Leno's last day as host of the Tonight Show.  Technically they had the show filmed and in the can yesterday afternoon so he was done yesterday, but it airs tonight.  I won't be watching it because I'll be working.  Otherwise I'd make the effort.

I liked Jay.  I liked Johnny Carson too.  Both of them were basically clean comics, who were funny.  Both men had the knack of drawing out one last chuckle at the end of the day.  Somehow The Tonight Show was the perfect night cap after the news.  No matter how hard of a day you'd had or how crappy the news of the day was, Jay was there to poke a little fun, get a little laugh and ease the tension.

A fact about Jay Leno that you may not know is that he is a lefty liberal.  He always has been.  You may not know that because he was a true equal opportunity comic.  I was reading a summation of his monologs yesterday and Bill Clinton was the subject of more Leno jokes than any other president.  That's not surprising for a couple of reasons, first Clinton was in office 8 of Leno's 20 years on the show, Second, no one in the history of the presidency has provided more comic material than Bill Clinton. 

It's easy to like a comic that takes shots at everybody, especially if you know the person he is taking a shot at deserves it.  Republicans had 8 years of cracking up at the expense of the Commander in Brief, Boxers.  When Bush part II came along Leno threw some zingers his way too.  Nobody got there panties in to much of a wad over it.  Everyone was fair game from Charlie Sheen to anyone caught in a Jay Walking segment. 

Carson then Leno, Jimmy Fallon has big shoes to fill.  Hopefully he will stick to their example and be clean, be funny and be an equal opportunity zinger.  Every time NBC has tried to get more "edgy" or "left wing" with late night comedy, its not worked out so well.  David Letterman was the left wing hater of record prior to Bill Maher.  He has increasingly mastered the art of boring.  Conan O'Brien sucks great freckled pale skinned comedy male reproductive organ.  How anyone at NBC thought he was "edgy" or "funny" is anyone's guess.  Apparently none of them ever watched his show before they kicked out Jay the first time.

I wish Fallon good luck.  If he stays the course of Johnny and Jay I think he'll do well.  If he doesn't we might get Jay back like last time.  I'm sure Jimmy is feeling the pressure of wanting to do great and live up to expectations as well as wanting to do his own thing.  Audiences like a mix of new and old.  I'm sure he's setting up his own format.  Getting his own band ready.  Likely they will have some new writers.  Maybe Jimmy could work in a putter as a prop for the monolog and a guest Jay Walking segment.  It would be hilarious to send Leno to Congress and have him wander the halls asking congressmen basic questions and watching them flub it up.

Then again that might not be so funny. 


Soon We Won't Have Any Freedoms Left

I don't like drones.  I didn't think they had any legitimate use at all.  I was proven wrong and I admit it. 

Thirsty ice fishermen can no longer receive beer deliveries via drones in Minnesota
Ice fisherman in central Minnesota will no longer be able to have beer delivered to them by a drone. Lakemaid Beer had been testing a drone delivery service on Lake Mille Lacs, one of the most popular fishing destinations in Minnesota. Fishermen simply called in with their coordinates, and a drone was sent carrying refreshments.
After news of the drone deliveries started to go viral, the FAA found out and grounded the service.
I've ice fished and I may do it again.  While I can't remember the last time I caught a fish through the ice, I consider myself one of the worlds foremost experts on the subject.  There are some things you need to ice fish effectively.  Lots of thick ice, some method of drilling a hole in it, fishing gear and alcohol.  Other things like a shanty and a source of heat are nice, as are a truck with a good heater. 

Out of all those things on the list all you really need is the ice and alcoholic beverages.  True if you don't have a hole chopped in the ice and fishing gear you aren't likely to catch fish.  That's a minor detail.  Nobody goes ice fishing to catch fish.  If you didn't have serious issues in your life forcing you out of doors in subzero weather and a jones for booze you wouldn't go. 

Yeah, you might be ice fishing for the fun of it.  Frostbite is fun, right?  If there is a more miserable place to be in the winter time than Minnesota, its got to be North Dakota.  That's not the point. 

It's Minnesota, its February, its -14 outside and the wind is blowing, its snowing and its never going to stop!  On the downside a married man has been confined to his house for at least 60 days with his wife, kids and a gaggle of relatives at Christmas.  What's a man to do?  Football is over, and summer mosquito season is still six months away.  Minnesota doesn't even have a decent name or mascot for their hockey team for crisssakes.  Even if they did the Red Wings would skate them into little legless octopi.

On the upside, that man has a fishing shanty and the ice is thick enough to drive on.  He artfully explains to his wife that the boss is sending him to a convention in Duluth for the week.  Then he goes to his boss to get him to cover with the wife.  The boss makes him a deal they'll both lie for each other, and he'll buy the propane for the heater and go half on the rest.  Sitting in an outhouse on a frozen lake, smoking cigars and eating Van Camps baked beans beats the heck out of the other winter activities in Minnesota.

The only problem with the plan is that there is no way you can pack a shanty and enough beer to keep two men ice fishing for a week in a pick-up truck.  That's where the drones came in.  The drones kept everyone happy and safe.  Just place your order and the drones bring out the beer.  Every couple of hours a new case of beer arrives.  Nobody had to drive into town to get it, it just showed up, like liquid manna from heaven.  A routine develops; drink, fish, piss, oh look more beer, bring it inside before it freezes, repeat. 

The ice fisherman got to stay on the lake.  Maybe the extra time fishing helped him catch more fish, maybe not.  It doesn't matter.  That time drinking ice fishing saved his life and probably his marriage.  Sure his wife knows he didn't go to Duluth.  She doesn't ask why he has a $1,400 delivery charge from Bob's Bait and Booze on his credit card.  He doesn't ask why her credit card has 112 visits to the Cinnabun in the Mall of America, or why the kids spent the week at her mothers.  It's Minnesota.  It's winter and people cope as best they can.

Damn you FAA!  What do you have against traditional Midwestern marriage?

There is nothing like a week spent too drunk to fish, passed out on the ice breathing stale cigars and baked been farts, to make a man go back to his flannel clad wife who hasn't shaved her legs or pits since August and feel like getting frisky.

Punny Riddles

What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
You have to been careful not to step in a poodle.

Why did the butcher make his sausages with meat at one end and corn meal at the other?
Because in hard economic times, it's difficult to make both ends meat.

Where do lawyers live?
In legal pads.

How do you make a skeleton laugh?
By tickling his funny bone.

When should baseball players wear armor?
When they play knight games.

What do clowns get paid?
Funny money.

What do dentists like most about amusement parks?
Molar coasters.

Why did the robber take a bath?
To make a clean get away!


Good Idea, Not!

Sometimes we all need a little "mood booster".  Who doesn't like a little shot in the arm?  We all do it.  Sometimes you get yourself a little "treat".  Maybe you go out to a favorite restaurant, or buy yourself a little gift. 

In the workplace a good boss will give his employees mood boosters from time to time.  A boss will recognize when his people are going above and beyond.  Burning the candle at both ends can lead to burnout.  Mood boosters can help the staff refocus and reenergize.  People who do a good job deserve a pat on the back and maybe a little extra pay in the pocket.

Embattled IRS plans employee bonuses for 2013 work to ‘boost morale’
Citing the need to boost employee morale, the Internal Revenue Service’s new commissioner said Monday that he will pay out millions of dollars in bonuses to agency employees, reversing a decision his predecessor made to save money amid the sequester budget cuts and other belt-tightening last year.
The agency remains under fire for targeting tea party groups, but Commissioner John Koskinen said the bonuses are needed to retain and attract good employees in a time of cutbacks.
The IRS needs to boost employee moral and increase employee retention?  WTF! How about boosting America's morale and firing the IRS?  We are in the worst depression in American history.  You can't buy a job that will produce the same standard of living that Americans enjoyed 40 years ago.  Explain to me how a government agency that pays above average wages, benefits and retirement needs to give out millions of dollars in bonuses to keep their staff when over 30% of America is un or under employed.

Here is a real American mood booster.  First we nullify every federal law passed after 1900.  Every elected person in DC gets a free lifetime stay in Gitmo.  That's were we send the other people who work to destroy America.  Then we line up every person on the Federal payroll and have them count off.  Every tenth person keeps his job.  The rest get to compete in the marketplace like the rest of us.  With the money we save, we will be able to buy John Koskinen a clue.

One More Football Post

For weeks the players plotted behind the coach's back.  They made a decision.  They devised a plan to get as close to a touchdown as they could without actually scoring.  Not scoring.  Under no circumstances was the ball carrier to score.  None.  Even if it meant taking a dive on the one yard line.  No one was going to cross the goal line.  No one.  For no reason.  The stakes were too high and the team had a plan.

Strange strategy for a football team.  Did the QB owe some gambling debts he couldn't pay?  What sordid reason did they have for doing something that could easily cost them the game?

Yeah the kids are all right.  More than all right, you just watched the best play in the entire sport of football for the 2013 season.  May God bless those boys for it and may more teams implement it, especially if it does cost them the game.


Top 10 Reasons Bronco's Need Tebow

#10.  Payton Manning $96 Million for 5 years.  Tim Tebow $33 Million for five years. 

#9.  43-8 Seahawks


#7.  Apparently someone needs to play quarter back.

#6.  They say Tebow can't throw, which means he can't throw the game.

#5.  Clearly Tebow had the best Super Bowl performance of anyone in the NFL .

#4.  Tim being on the roster would have at least made the big game interesting.

#3.  Payton Manning didn't win a Super Bowl for the Bronco's either.

#2. The "Pocket Pass" isn't everything, sometimes it's nothing.

#1.  When Tebow plays, America prays and Denver can't afford to turn down the help.


A Solution

I have a solution.  I know, sometimes I gripe with no constructive suggestions.  It's not that I don't have constructive suggestions.  I'm enough of a realist to know that it ain't gonna happen.  So I keep it to myself.

Our country has mixed feelings about legalizing recreational drugs.  On one hand it shouldn't be any bodies business what you do at home.  On the other hand drugs are bad for you and sometimes even deadly.  Some people want them, in the name of harmless fun.  Some people want them banned in the name of protecting people from themselves.  Seems like a total impasse. It's not, there is a solution.

Frist we make all drugs legal everyplace for anyone over 21 years old.  Now hear me out.  This gets rid of the #1 reason for police abusing our civil rights, the war on some drugs. The #2 reason, small penis, big chip on shoulder, will still be a problem.  We will have to deal with that latter.  The drugs will be absolutely legal.  The cops won't have anything to say about it and no law to selectively enforce.

However, you have to buy the drugs from a government run exchange.  Think of it like a state run liquor store.  We put the same people in charge of the drug exchange that are in charge of Obamacare.  End of problem.  Drugs are legal and nobody will be able to get them.  A true win-win.

I await my Noble Prize.