All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!


GFF-Banker Edition

Bankers deserve a lot of the crap they get.  Especially the NYNY power bankers who workout dirty backroom deals.  Your everyday run of the mill local bankers still produce an occasional good egg.  Take for example Blake Pollock.

Blake saw the same man walking to work down Crooks Rd In Rochester MI, year after year.  One day he offered him a ride.  This went on for some time.  He didn't give him a ride everyday, but he stopped when he could.  After a while Pollock's passenger, James Robinson shared his hard luck story with his unlikely carpool buddy.

James had a car, 10 years ago, but it died and he couldn't afford another car, so he did the best he could getting to his job in a local shop.  Mostly he'd try to grab a bus and then walk the rest or bum a ride when he could.  James Robinson is what America was, a hardworking man who showed up for work and does his best, day in and day out, no matter what his personal circumstances.

If you think about it, its a typical Detroit kind of story.  Times are tough, a man's down on his luck, (cue "Blue Collar Man" background music) doing the best he can, walking to work in the snow because he knows the value of having a job and sticking with it.

America in general and Detroit in particular responded to that story.  Two weeks ago Detroit's hard working and hard walking man, was given a new Ford Taurus

Say what you want about Detroit (I have), they still got heart in the motor city. 

For those of you who don't know Rochester Hills is a very wealthy community.  I used to live there.  For a banker to stop for a shop rat is incredible in and of its self.  To go the extra mile like Blake did is freaking awesome!

High Hopes

I've got high hopes.  No this post isn't related to the one below it.  I've completed my annual ritual of sending good money into the Wyoming Game and Fish Department in anticipation of winning the moose and/or bighorn sheep lottery.

In Wyoming the lottery is conducted via a point system combined with semi-random chance.  In other words preference goes to the person with the highest number of points, if everyone has the same number of points its random, otherwise its ranked. 

For the last 10 years I've always come in one preference point behind what was needed to get a moose tag.  Last year was no exception.  This year I've got just enough points to get a tag if the ranking works out like last year.  So, we'll see.

I've never been even close to getting a sheep tag.  After checking the 2014 results I see that I am getting close to having enough points.  This creates a dilemma for me.  I'm not in shape for a sheep hunt if I have to do it on foot.  I don't have anything like enough money to pay an outfitter for the hunt.  It might have been better to buy my point instead of putting in for a tag.  Part of me hopes to not draw the tag this year even though this hunt will be something that I will only be able to get once or maybe twice in my lifetime.


Of Pot

I'm critical of 3 P Libertarians, mostly because they strike me as social misfits and outright losers.  That was my first impression of them as a group back in the 80's and nothing has happened to change my mind since.  That isn't to say that I don't grasp the intellectual point.  I do.  I also get the political point, the social point etc.

I embrace the idea of separation of powers, states rights, limited government, freedom of association, etc.  The Founding Fathers hit on a fantastic idea with those concepts that allows people to live together in a way that maximizes freedom and maintains social order.

What happens if a large enough group of people decide that they don't like some behavior that they pass a law against it?  Then they have passed a law.  There isn't much that can be done about that.  Except that there is, you can always move to a place that doesn't have that law.  Individual states are free to make and enforce laws as they see fit.  As long as the federal government stays out of the matter, then people are free to move to a state that fits their personal ethics.

So what about pot?

What about it?  Currently we have a federal government that is willing to ignore the enforcement of its own laws on the subject.  Three states have taken advantage of the situation and have legalized recreational marijuana, while others are considering the matter.

My personal take on the marijuana issue breaks down along these lines:
  • Products not containing THC should be universally legal.
  • Medical marijuana should be universally legal.
  • Recreational marijuana should solely be a states rights issue.  This means that each state should make its own laws without federal oversight.
  • Importing marijuana into the United States is a federal issue, and should be subject to prohibition and/or taxation.
  • Transportation of marijuana within the United States is also a federal matter.  I would make exception for instances where states are adjacent and have similar laws and where the product never enters a state with prohibitive laws.
  • Tax it.  Regulate it. Tax it some more.  Treat recreational marijuana like alcohol.
  • Pot is bad for you, and its dumb to make it part of your lifestyle.  As long as individuals and businesses are able to freely discriminate towards users, we will achieve similar social sanctions without the expense and abuses of policing.


Disputing the Stats

I had a college professor that used to tell us in class: "there are three kinds of liars; liars, damned liars and statisticians".  This has proven to be one of the most accurate proverbs of the secular lexicon.

A statistician can make a number "say" just about anything they want it to.  It's not exactly lying they will claim, after all they will remind you, they clearly published the data and perimeters of the study.  How the data was presented and interpreted may not have been, get ready, "entirely consistent with the observable phenomenon".

Take for instance this little 3P Libertarian gem: Smoking Marijuana is 114 Times Safer Than Drinking Alcohol – Study

My first impression based solely on the headline is that someone has produced a scientific study that indicates that smoking marijuana is a reasonably safe activity.  After reading the story that is in fact the conclusion the author reaches after reviewing a sampling of material on the subject.

What I don't like about this type of reporting is that it involves what I see as a lie by implication.  The implication is that pot smoking is a relatively safe activity.  The article doesn't come right out and state that conclusion as a fact.  What they eventually do state is that "the Post noted that Wayne Hall of the World Health Organization said it’s nearly impossible for even those who smoke large amounts of cannabis to overdose on the drug."

This is a very important distinction to make.  "Safer" in this article is eventually defined as 'less likely to die from an overdose of the drug'.  Smoking pot then isn't really 114 times safer in every sense of the word, its just 114times less likely that a pot head will immediately OD from consuming the drug.  That very well may be an important bit of information, but its a long way from the blanket statement of being 114 times safer. 

We don't have easy access to the actual study that they base this on, so I'll only interject one further point.  We aren't told anything about deaths that occur as a result of using a mixture of marijuana and other substances.  It seems to me that this could be very important.

One of the medical benefits of marijuana is that it helps combat nausea.  This is an important feature we are told for people who are undergoing chemotherapy as it helps them keep food and drink in their stomach.  One other related medical benefit is what is sometimes referred to as "the munchies".  Apparently in some cases the use of marijuana stimulates the desire to eat and drink more than the person would normally.

I agree with the medical marijuana enthusiasts that these properties are present in the drug.

The principle way the human body deals with over consumption of alcohol is by vomiting excess liquor out of the stomach.  Puking ones guts out is the bodies method of protecting itself after drinking too much.  If a person smokes pot and drinks too much alcohol their body has ingested one drug that makes it impossible to expel a poisonous substance.

In cases where alcohol is the cause of death but THC is present in the blood stream, the cause of death is normally recorded as acute alcohol poisoning.  It would be interesting to know how many of the alcohol related deaths in the study had a THC component as a contributing factor.  My guess is if that data is added in marijuana smoking might not be found to be 114 times safer than booze.


About a year ago my sister, who lives in Arkansas, was talking with her four year old son, Bubba. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up.

“They think we have an accent,” she replied.

“But they have an accent, right?”, Brent asked. “They talk funny?”

“Everybody talks in different ways” she tried to explain. “To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out.”

His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, “Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?”


News Quips

A couple of stories are making their way around the net today that have caught my attention.

One of them is a 12 year old boy from Georgia who blasts Obama for not loving America.  Here's the vid:

When I was 12, I was into politics too.  We didn't have the internet but we had newspapers, I read them and enjoyed knowing what was going on in the world and forming my own opinion on it.  I applaud young Mr. Person for his ability to investigate and develop his own opinions.  I think he will go far.  Not because I agree with some of what he says.  I think he will go far because he is willing to voice an opinion that is contrary to what one would expect from a youth coming from his racial and cultural background.  Incidentally, his homiletic skills are well developed.  He is either a natural orator or has received and put to good use some training.

I doubt that Mr. Person has developed a working world view on our relationship as a country with militant factions in the middle east.  So I suspect that he and I would have opposing opinions on the overall picture.  His presentation wasn't about that topic, nor was it about several other topics that his distractors are pontificating upon.  The message that Obama "doesn't love America" is well illustrated by Obama's handling of ISIS.  That's all the kid said.  He is right.  Get over it.

In other news, Gov. Scott Walker is taking heat because he didn't know what religion Obama practices.  In response to this he said, "I've actually never talked about it or I haven't read about that," protesting that the president's religion is not a topic of great interest to voters. "I would defy you to come to Wisconsin. You could ask 100 people, and not one of them would say that this is a significant issue".

I think that's a pretty fair statement.  I doubt that most Americans care.  Yet Byron York still managed to get paid for writing, "Why are Americans confused about Obama's religion?".

I've got an answer Byron.  Obama claims to be a member of a church in Chicago and he has given interviews about "his Muslim faith".  In fact he's made several comments over the course of his presidency about his favorable views of Islam.  I don't know what, if any religion he practices.  Judging by how he spends his time I suspect "Golf" is actually the correct answer.

I don't think most Americans care too much about the presidents religion.  Whether or not this is a positive way to evaluate a man serving in public office is another question.  In practice, the subject isn't a priority for most voters.  America is a post Christian nation.  I suspect that many Americans would say that they are "Christian" even if they seldom darken the door step of a church.  If the best method of determining a man's religion is by what he does to practice it, then "golf" or "Islam" or "I don't know" are the answers to the question.


Top 50 List

I found a top 50 list of things all real men should know.  Keep in mind that its a list generated by Brits.  I'm not disparaging their manhood I'm just pointing out that they're Brits.

Revealed, the 50 things every 'real' man needs to know

Rather than reprint the list, I'll man up and confess to the ones I don't know and my explanation/excuse as an aside.

18.) Know the offside rule.  I assume this is soccer and I'm a little unclear but I think it involves not being farther down field than the ball.  I'll take a half point off.

19.) The year England won the World Cup.  I know this is soccer.  I don't care.

31.) What the football scores were at the weekend.  More soccer.
33.) When a woman says ‘Do what you want’ do not do what you want.  Like hell.  If a women tells you to do what you want, do it!  If she says, "Well dear if you want to go fishing this weekend...I guess", you don't let the final "s" sound fade away without being in the truck headed down the driveway.  If she didn't really mean it, too bad.

35.) What the biggest recent football transfers are. Again with the soccer.

42.) How to put someone in a recovery position.  I'm not sure what they are talking about.  I do know some basic first aid and rescue "positions".  Being Brits this could also be some sort of gay sex thing, in which case I'm totally clueless.

50. Who are favourites to win the Premier League.  Again with the soccer.

From the story:
While being able to undo a bra one-handed, understanding betting odds and how to choose a good wine all narrowly missed out on the list.
Knowing to never call a woman 'cuddly' or 'bubbly', what the first rule of the film Fight Club is and having an opinion on the best James Bond were also just outside the top 50 list.
Nearly half the men studied felt they weren't up to scratch based on the number of the 50 things they were able to tick off. Just 46 per cent felt they could consider themselves a 'manly' man.
A full 10% of British "real manhood" is tied up in soccer.  Granted they invented the sport.  On the other hand if winning the world cup is such an apparently rare event that you should know when Britain did it, how important can it be?

As far as the near miss items, I perfected the one hand unhook at 17.  I achieved it at 16 but the intricacies involved change a bit depending on if it is a 1 or 5 clasp model.  In my case I started small and worked into the big leagues.  It wasn't until 17 that I encountered and mastered the 5 clasp DD supper bra. 

I can choose a reasonably good wine if I know what everyone in the party prefers.  In the US, wine pairing for meals is something of an underdeveloped art.  As a rule most Americans aren't into the orthodox concept of pairing and generally prefer to drink wines they "like".  I'm not sure how my choices would stand up in continental company.

 I have some suggestions that should have made the list.

1. Build shelter
2. Find and purify water
3. Start a fire when your life depends on it
4. Kill and prepare your own food
5. Use/make primitive weapons
6. Master firearms
7. Use water craft and motorcycles

There's my seven to make up for my lack of soccer skills.  Add your own "real man skills" in the comments.


GFF-Making Good in the Hood

I'm not a fan of public assistance.  More times than not it makes a bad situation worse.  Sometimes it does something good, like in the case of the Mingo family.

Mary Mingo was a truck-stop waitress, known for working a lot of double shifts.  Her husband had left her with 8 kids and one on the way.  Mary died delivering her last baby.  Because of her low income Mrs. Mingo was raising her kids in public housing.  At the time of her death in 1980 Mary's 9 children were aged 19 to newborn.

The children decided to stay together.  That's right all 9 of them.  All together, in the same house.  More amazingly, they managed to get away with it.  More amazingly awesome than that eight of the kids turned out great.  By great what I mean one is an artist, two shop owners, an attorney, a contractor, two college students and a former professional boxer who was a one-time Olympic hopeful.  The youngest boy got into drugs and is serving time, but his brothers and sisters still love him and want him to become part of their life when he gets out.

35 years later: The children who raised themselves is a story worth 5 min of your time to read.  Mary Mingo managed to instill the values of hard work and sacrifice in her children.  Even though she wasn't able to see the job through to the end, she did a good enough job at the beginning to carry on for another generation and counting. 

A special shout out to the oldest daughter Kayle Mingo, who as the oldest gave up the most.  Instead of enjoying the pleasures of young adulthood, she changed diapers, cooked and cleaned and raised her mothers children.  It seems she did a good job of it too.

Read more here:

Read more here:


Right to Try

I've blogged on this topic before.  Some people when faced with the terrifying prospect of having a fire in the home, choose to rush into the home and try to save their family.  If the police and fire department are there, they will prevent anyone from reentering the burning building.  They have their reasons and they are trying to achieve a positive outcome with that policy.

However, I believe that inside a man is an instinct to do what he can to protect those whom he loves.  Obeying that instinct is a fundamental right of human existence.  It does not matter if a man lives, it is how he lives and dies that is important.

A North Texas man is presumed dead after running into his burning home multiple times
Witnesses told NBC 5 that the homeowner, 65-year-old Vietnam War veteran and Purple Heart recipient George Steele, went back into the Decatur mobile home several times to rescue his children, extended family and pets.
Steele's wife, Faith, said he ran into the smoke-filled house one last time to try to help his aunt, who, unbeknown to him, had already escaped through the back window. 
Wise County Fire Marshal Chuck Beard said seven people were inside the home in the 200 block of Quail Chase Drive when the fire started at about 3 a.m.
George Steele died a man's death, doing a man's job saving his family.  It may be that his last trip into a burning building wasn't necessary, the person he went to help got out on their own.  Mr. Steele didn't know that at the time.  He reckoned his love of his family more valuable than his own life.  Seven people could have died.  Mr. Steele made sure that didn't happen.

The Valentine’s Day Ten Commandments

I know these are a little late, but its BJW not on time joke Wednesday.

I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt have no other squeeze before me.

II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth her behind her back.

III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy–or else.

IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are just too weird.

V. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily or cause undo embarrassment when I am with thee.

VI. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it least you be smitten from the earth.

VII. Thou shalt not steal from my wallet/purse while I am at my bath, nor use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from my telephone.

VIII. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.

IX. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor’s house without first puttin’ down the remote and learnin’ how to use a paintbrush!

X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s main Squeeze, nor his stereo, nor his BMW, nor anything else that belongs to thy neighbor.


Happy Birthyday

Happy Birthday Blog!

Thanks to all my readers for dropping by.


Know Thy Baptist

An open letter to the Blogger Blaster.


Man, I love you like a brother.  A cross-eyed, tard brother who keeps peeing on the electric fence, but a brother none the less.  I saw your comment that "Baptists are Baptists" in the comments on your post.  Dude you are over 40 now.  Young guys are starting to look to you for wisdom.  You can't be leading them astray like this.

Baptists aren't all the same.  There are some important differences, for instance:

If you want to go bass fishing and you are considering taking a Baptist friend along.  In some cases you MUST invite another Baptist, from that guys church to come along with you.  It's no good just to bring a second Baptist in this situation.  You gotta find one from that particular church to tag along.  Otherwise the first Baptist will drink all your beer and not pitch in to pay because its a sin to buy beer.  If you bring someone from his church with you, they will watch each other to make sure they don't drink any beer.  Added bonus: you will have someone to run the trolling motor while you drink the beer yourself.

I don't know how many times I've seen this scenario.  You've got a bunch of buddies going to a football game.  You got cokes, chips, the grill, brats and all the fixins in the back of the truck.  It occurs to you that the thing that would hit the spot would be a bucket of chicken and there is a KFC on the way to the stadium.  Ya gotta know your Baptist in this situation.  As a non-Baptist you're thinking that with all the chow you got packed in the truck that your gonna have enough food for 12 or 13 guys and there's only 6 of ya'll going.  But two of em are Baptists.  Now you've a particularly challenging mathematical quandary. Do you need two buckets of chicken or three?  Do you have to get a second bucket of extra crispy or extra sides?

Not all Baptists are created equal and you've got to know the difference.  Take either one of the scenarios.  What if you felt like stopping off at Hooters for some hot wings on your way home?  You offer to get the check if your Baptist gets the tip.  After staring at her boobs for two hours your Baptist leaves no tip because its a sin to temp men to lust.  Next time you stop in you get stuck in the old lady "A" cup section and your wings are cold when you get them.

Man you gotta know your Baptists.  It might not be life or death, but it can come back to haunt you if you don't handle it right.

*All of the above situations are real.


GFF Ok Another Cop Story

I had to go with this story.  It's too good to be true and yet it seems to be on the level.
WASHINGTON, February 7, 2015—New Mexico’s Eddy County Sheriff Scott London notified the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) via letter that the sale of county resident Kent Carter’s property is canceled until Carter receives due process of law and his appeal is heard.
The basic facts of the story are:
  • The IRS won a tax judgment against one Kent Carter
  • Mr. Carter is appealing that judgment
  • Mr. Carter can't afford a lawyer and is representing himself 
  • Mr. Carter didn't know he had to file a special form to keep his property from being sold while he appealed the case, because he's not a lawyer
  • The case is going to get an hearing
  • In the mean time the IRS sent armed marshals out to seize the land in question and the local sheriff (our hero) Scott London was called out to protect the people living in a trailer on the land in question.
  • The marshals threatened to jail the sheriff but he didn't back down
  • The property seized in this manner is sold at what is known as a "sheriff's auction"
  • The sheriff still refuses to allow the property to be auctioned until the case works its way thru the appeals process and Mr. Carter receives his full due process rights
I'd like to point out one little fact of the case that I think is important.  Sheriff London isn't saying he won't ever auction the property, or that Mr. Carter is in the right on the tax issues.  All he is saying is that Mr. Carter is entitled to have his day in court first.  Then if he losses all his appeal options, the sheriff will likely have to auction the property.

Sheriff London's point, that he had to make in the face armed men who were threatening him, is that a citizen has a right to due process before his property can be taken from him.  Good on Scott London.  It would have been easier to go along to get along.  The easy way and nominally legal route out of a tricky situation would have been to cave in to the feds.  Thank you for standing your ground and doing the right thing.



Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Eggs!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."



Those of you who remember SNL's character, Pat will know what I'm talking about, if not here's a link.

Six or seven months ago one of the companies where I work hired an employee I'm going to call Pat.  Pat is a sexually ambiguous individual, overweight, short hair, medium tenor voice, no noticeable sexual traits either male or female.  Pat is 19, closer to 20 years old, and holds down two jobs.  Pat's real name is one of those made up conglomeration of vowels and consonants, that Pat's mother heard on a TV show. The TV personality was a male, but the name sounds feminine.

When they hired Pat, one of his female co-works told me that they had hired a he/she.  She seemed disgusted by this, and I didn't push for more info.  I got to know Pat a little bit.

I was told the story about his mother giving him a girly sounding name.  He told me about getting picked on for being feminine.  He also told me about having a pacemaker for a heart condition.  With a goofy girly sounding name, pudgy appearance, tenor voice and some behavioral traits that probably developed because of being brought up by a dingbat female, this kid was starting out behind the eight ball. 

I wanted to help the guy out.  I tried to couch him about losing some weight.  I suspect that hearing that from a guy who is trying to lose weight himself might not be that effective, but it was the right advice.  I talked to him about using a manly sounding nickname, and gave him some other hints.

Pat had an incident with the pacemaker and was off work for three months.  While off from his job, I saw him in public with a semi-attractive girl.  They were sucking face and Pat had a hand firmly working the girl's boob like a batch of pizza dough.  Not exactly classy, or good technique, but definitely 19 year old male behavior.

Pat came back to work.  I didn't see him around much due to having different shifts and his being a part time employee.  Two weeks ago he told me he was facing a paternity suit from a girl he knew in high school.  Over the last week I kept hearing complaints from his boss and co-workers about his lying about doing various job related tasks.  It was obvious that things weren't looking good for Pat.

Saturday Pat walked off the job in the middle of the shift.

Monday I learned that according to the state of Wyoming, Pat is now, was born and has always been, female.

Some observations:

Everyone at work, except perhaps the gal I mentioned earlier, was willing to accept Pat at face value.

Given what I know about the employer, and the fact they knew about the transgender issue, Pat was given more of a chance in s/he's job than a straight person would have been.  From what I gather, Pat's boss has wanted to fire her since before the pacemaker issue.  This was due to a number of job performance related issues.

I never saw anyone mistreat Pat.

My dealings with Pat were always friendly.  I was never going to be close buddies with a kid nearly 25 years younger than me, but I genuinely wanted things to be good for him and his life to turn out well.  We seemed to be friends.

The most important observation I can make is that Pat is a liar.

Pat was accepted when it was rumored that s/he was a transsexual.  People were nice to Pat.  Folks were willing to accept and believe Pat's version of reality, or at least take it at face value.  Pat choose to create a façade and base all his/her relationships on the premise of that façade.  I think its interesting to note that Pat's biggest issue at work was lying.  Lying was so common that Pat's boss struggled with every conversation they had.  No wonder there was tension and bad blood at work.

I've known a handful of homosexuals.  I've been friends with a couple of them well enough to know some of their idiosyncrasies.  They weren't liars.  That doesn't mean they told everyone every little thing about their life or lifestyle choices, but they didn't blatantly create a false world to live in. 

Normal social interaction isn't possible when you can't have faith in what people tell you.



You see it all the time.  Conservatives wish that we had Ron Reagan back in the White House again.  Liberals wish Bill Clinton was back in charge.  This is only natural.  Things were fairly good for America under both of those men.

You can argue which man "did the best job".  I don't think its a topic for argument.  Reagan was a man who articulated his beliefs and encouraged America to join him.  Bill Clinton was a gifted presenter and a friendly face for the government.  America did well economically under both men and as far as the average American is concerned that equates to "successful".

I don't expect that a Republican will ever convince a Democrat that Reagan was better than Clinton.  Personally, due to the condition of the American economy when he took over, and his management of forgien affairs I think Reagan was the better man.  Apparently not only did Ronny do a better job in office, but he also beats Clinton in the only other thing Bill was known for.

If the hype is right in, Love Triangle: Ronald Reagan, Jane Wyman & Nancy Davis Ronny also banged more and better babes than Bill. 

Consider Exhibit A
Reagan:    Marilynn Monroe
Clinton:    Monaca Lewinski

Consider Exhibit B
Reagan:    Nancy Davis
Clinton:    Hillary Rodham

I could go on but my week stomach keeps me from contemplating the low standards of William Jefferson Clinton.  I think the winner is clear even as a womanizer Ronny did a better job.


GFF, Cop Edition

City cops were attending what they believed was a domestic call at a Cornwall home involving an elderly couple who were in the midst of an argument.
Upon visiting the home police discovered that an elderly woman was suffering from dementia. They further determined that the husband had recently pawned his wedding ring in an effort to purchase groceries.
The couple had been married 54 years and the husband admitted he was finding it difficult to not only care for his wife, but to put food on the table.
So the cops pitched in with some grocery money and the coughed up the dough to go buy back the wedding ring.

“When I spoke to [DeLorenzo] she was very forthcoming and knew that the child should be in a booster seat,” Officer Hall told FOX 17 News. “She admitted that she was wrong and that she had recently fallen on hard times.”
MSNBC reports that the woman's car had been repossessed that day, with the car seat inside, and she could not afford a replacement.
Instead of ticketing DeLorenzo, Officer Hall told the mom to meet him at a nearby Walmart so he could buy a booster seat for her daughter.


ABC's of Honesty

Wife: "How would you describe me?"


Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!" 


You Might be a.....

You might be a homeschooler if...

You have recently discovered yourself using the word "twaddle" when talking to another adult about a serious subject.

You are defiantly a homeschooler if you can name the women whose writing popularized the word.


Hell and Hand Baskets

Despite numerous misdeeds in my youth, I was only able to get myself suspended from school on one occasion.  I was on the receiving end of a fair number of detentions.  I never tried to keep track of the verbal reprimands.  I even remember getting a whooping in the principles office.  In any event when I was a kid you actually had to do something bad to get in trouble at school.
Texas boy suspended for saying he could make classmate ‘disappear’ with ‘Lord of the Rings’ sorcery
Kermit Elementary School officials called it a threat when the 9-year-old boy, Aiden Steward, in a playful act of make-believe, told a classmate he could make him disappear with a ring forged in fictional Middle Earth’s Mount Doom.
“I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence,” the boy's father later wrote in an email. "If he did, I'm sure he'd bring him right back." 
Young Aiden is what is known as a horrible trouble maker.  So far this year he has been suspended 3 times.  That's right suspended 3 times since the start of the school year.  What is this kid doing, selling crack or arranging contract killings?  No it's worse than that.  He referred to a kid as "black" and brought an educational book to school.  What kind of parents do this kid have?  He should know better than to bring books to school.  It's nigga not black, don't these crackers listen to rap?

In other fantasy fiction related news Obama has submitted a budget to congress that proposes over $6,000 in tax increases for every man woman and child in the United States.  Even with that hefty tax increase he still wants to spend 2 trillion dollars more than the government takes in in revenue.  The good news is that he claims the budget will be balanced in ten years.  Apparently he is expecting to still be in office then so he can keep that promise.

We're kicking the wrong people out of the wrong places in this country.