All in the Family featured the curmudgeonly Archie Bunker. Archie was television’s most famous grouch, blunt, blustering, straightforward and untouched by the PC crowd. He was the archetype of the conservative male. Michael desprately tried to reeducate him, but he persisted in his breviloquence.

Looking back at the last 40 years, we realize: ARCHIE WAS RIGHT!



From my wanderings these last 6 months:



Hang Hayden.

Put Alfie on a plane.

Burn everyone at Alder Hey Children's Hospital at the stake.


BJW - Mrs. Right

Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, "How come you aren't married?"

John: "I haven't found the right woman yet."

George: "So what are you looking for?"

John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper. She's got to know how to handle money, have a nice and pleasant personality and money. She's got to have money. And a nice big house wouldn't hurt either."

George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!"

John: "Oh, it's okay, if she is crazy."


Losing My Religion, part 6, The Moose Story

The "Losing My Religion Posts" in order: Post 1, Post 2, Post 3, Post 4, and Post 5.

Before I start know this, nobody in my life has told me they believe my story, not even my old minister.  When I tell this, people give me kindly nods and polite smiles; like they would to a child repeating some bit of make believe.

I love hunting.  I have since I was a kid and my grandpa let me tag along behind some men who were pheasant hunting on his farm.

The Shiras Moose is the smallest moose sub-species and is native to the rocky mountain region of the US.  A hunting license is difficult to draw.  It took me 15 years of applying before I had enough points to get one.  I wanted to hunt and harvest my moose on my own, on foot, without a guide.  Like any other hunter, I wanted to bag a big bull.

From my journal:

October 6th 2015 at about 9am I was praying.

My father insisted on going moose hunting with me.  He never had much of an interest in hunting before.  His health wasn't good and he was in no shape to make the trip.  The place where I was hunting had lots of moose sign but I had been in the field 5 days without seeing any moose.  I had been praying for a successful hunt.  My dad's health was failing and it looked like I was going to have to cancel the trip.

As I was walking a stream bottom, working my way up the mountain I started praying.  I told God that I wanted a big moose for my glory, but that I hadn't considered His.  I confessed that I had been thinking only how if I could have my way things would be better in my life.  I admitted that there were more important things I should have been focused on.

That was when I changed my hart in that prayer.  I praised him for providing for me and blessing me above what I deserved.

I asked for a successful hunt so my dad could go home and feel like it was a good trip.  I asked for meat to fill my freezer and feed my family.  I promised that if this was granted I would give 25% of the processed meat away to those who needed it more than I.  I talked to Him about failings in my marriage and fixing them.

I asked Him to confirm that He would grant me a blessing in my relationship with my kids and wife.  I asked for His best for my life.  Then I asked Him to confirm that He would bless my life and use me to provide for my family,

Then I said: "A record book bull would prove my prowess as a hunter and give me glory.  I don't want my glory.  I want your best for my life.  Don't give me a big bull.  Give me a sign that you have heard me and will grant my prayer.  Dear God please give a spike moose.  In Jesus name..."

Before I could say "Amen" a young bull moose jumped up in front of me, about 30 yards away and waited for me to shoot it.  Which I did.

It took about 8 hours to pack the moose and get off the mountain.  Before I had the meat moved 50 yards from the kill site, a bear was enjoying the carcass.

The. Best. Hunt. Of. My. Life!

Six months later I was laying on my back waiting to go into surgery.  I had just finished handwriting a goodbye note to my son and daughter as well as my last will and testament.

The nurse helpfully explained the information on the waivers I was signing.  There was a chance that I would not survive the surgery.  They weren't sure how much of a chance but 9 months earlier I had been ruled medically unfit to receive a surgery that my ENT had requested and the hospital still had the record.  I could die. 

There was a chance that the infection in my arm was too extensive to be removed.  If that was the case, they would amputate my arm.

I don't think I knew what to pray for.

Back Online

I was able to get back on line today.  I'll get to work on the moose story.

After I hit "publish" I saw the number of hits for my last BJW post, "Quickies".  Judging by incredible jump in site traffic, I'd say that using a title that's a double entendre is a great way to boost interest in my posts.


BJW - Quickies

A Wife's definition of retirement: Twice as much husband on half as much pay.

My wife thinks I put football before marriage, even though we just celebrated our third season together.

Try to remember that, with the exception of your parents and your children, most people will consider you an adult.

The world is divided into haves and have-nots: those who have a sense of humor and those who do not.

My husband and I married for better or worse... He couldn't do better and I couldn't do worse.

When the letters on a page begin to thrash about and attack each other, it's probably time to turn off the light and go to sleep.


Friday, the 13th

I know.  I've not written up the moose story.  Sorry.  I'm moving.  It's wonderful to be going back to America, or what's left of it.

I'm not sure when I'll get internet again.  I'm renting a condo until I get a house bought.  I'm thinking that will take 60 days or so.  It might be longer.  I might end up building too, at least that is an option that is on the table.

The BJW queue is full for a couple of months so you'll have a reason, maybe not a good one, to drop by.

If I can find an ISP that doesn't demand an unreasonable contract to set me up at one address and move without charging me when I buy a house, I'll be back up and blogging sooner.  Otherwise I'll wait till I get a house to get back on line.


BJW - Camelnot

Only the true king could remove the sword from the stone ...

no one else could ...

they didn't have ...



Big Boobs, a Sexist View

The post that follows is sexist, well probably not, but someone might get upset and that might increase site traffic.

Case in point Lizzy Martinez.  For those of you who don't know, Dizzy Lizzy is the 17 year old in Florida who decide that she wasn't going to wear a bra to school.  No, I didn't bother providing links.  The only reason you want links, is for Pics.  All the stories have her, taking a picture of herself, showing absolutely nothing more than the scarcest outline of  mammary tissue against cotton.  The guys will Google it anyway.  Disappointed?  Me too.

We had a very similar story in Montana a couple years back.  Her name was Kaitlyn Juvik.  Again no links, same reason.  Both girls were reasonable cute, or would have been back when I was in high school.  Both girls are bigger than "A" cups, a lot bigger.  Both girls said they wanted people to "stop sexualizing women's bodies"

Guys, please stop thinking about sex with girls.  No, not even when they are showing off the good bits.  Right.  OK.  Seems like an evolutionary dead end approach to me.

For those of you who don't know.  Guys like boobs.  We like every other part of the female physique too.  Because ... we were made this way.  Face facts females, if men weren't wired to see your bodies, or outlines there of, and start lustfully craving and wantonly sexualizing your bodies, you'd have to attract a mate with your other assets.  Those are what again?

In the real world, boys like boobs.  Girls with boobs know this, because boys have been avoiding eye contact with them and looking at "the girls" ever since they got a pair.  Girls like it, sometimes they like it a lot.  Sure, its not every guy, it might not even be most guys.  There is a guy, the guy, and she likes knowing that HE is looking.  Which is why I don't believe Dizzy Lizzy was embarrassed.  The other reasons I don't believe them is; the nipple bra, the bullet bra, and the torpedo bra.  Girls have been wearing or not wearing, whatever it takes, no matter how uncomfortable, to get a guy to take a look, forever.  Heck even my great, great grandmother's modest corset was designed to lift 'em up, and point 'em out. 

Girls check out other girls boobs.  It's a competition, or at least a ranking activity.  Dizzy Lizzy and the "D's" went to school.  We don't have any pictures of what the teacher, or the boys, got to see.  It was enough to get noticed.  Makes me think the show was more interesting than originally reported.  Just say'n.

Poor, poor, unsophisticated and unknowing Lizzy didn't realize that anyone, ever, not ever, ever, ever, paid her jugs so much as a moments notice.  Which is why she was soooo humiliated that the teacher had her talked to privately.  You know, like in private, where nobody else would know if Lizzy's "forgetting" her bra wouldn't be a (pardon the pun) big deal. 

Who could think that having a pair this size, wiggl'n, jiggl'n, doing the two-tit-toss up, would get any attention from a teenage boy? Like. Totally. Unpredictable.

Dizzy "D" and her headlights, was so traumatized by the attention given to her "girls" that she took photos and gave permission to news outlets to publish the story AND the pictures on the net.  You've not heard of the internet?  It's this media thing that nobody in the entire English speaking word uses.  It's the perfect place for a story about a girl who is embarrassed about people paying attention to her boobs.

Its just so unfair, and nobody noticed her boobs anyway.  This event made her so uncomfortable about her body, and her boobs.  Do you think they are big?  To big? Just right?  Nobody else at school noticed my boobs.  The boys never said anything about them bouncing.  Did you notice them?  It's just so unfair that anyone would pay any attention to something that is so private.  I hope nobody finds out about my boobs.  Here's another picture of me.  Don't look at my boobs.  I almost got my shirt all untucked so you couldn't see how fully my boobs fill it out.  Golly gee, nobody likes talking about or looking at boobs.  You're not interested in my boobs, are you? 

Why not? :-(

It doesn't matter anyway.  The news media won't pick this story up.  Absolutely NOBOBY would click on a story about a 17 year old with big boobs going to school without a bra even if this link had great pictures.

Its absolutely fair for a teacher to try to minimize distractions that would keep students from paying attention in class. It doesn't matter how meaty, beefy, big and bouncy those distractions are.  If I was a guy in her class at school, I'd protest too.  Because, oppression, ... yeah that's the ticket ... oppression.  Free the nipples.  Tout the tits. Jiggle the Jugs.  Unleash the Ubber Melons.

America could fix the problems in the public school system if we'd just abolished the school system.  We could do some good by getting rid of co-educational high-schools too. Guys like boobs.  Girls like getting guys to look at their boobs.  Guys like doing it. Repeat to infinity.  If you don't put kids in the same room, you don't have the issue.  Problem solved.

The male is supposed to be sexually attracted to the female.  The female likes sexually attracting the male.  This is how we get babies, who grow up, go through puberty, and try to attract the opposite sex to mate with them. It's a design feature. It's not a flaw.  It's not new.

Would Dizzy Lizzy react differently, if Lenny the Loser was caught lusting after her Lug Nuts?  Then she should cover 'em up.  Is she at school to learn or get laid?  If it's for learning, take note: Hormones work they way they are suppose to. Unlike global warming, this is a scientific fact. Males are suppose to see sexual stimulus and want the source of that stimulus. This is biology. This is why you were asked to the prom.  Unless it was pity, in which case, never mind.

One more lesson, Lizzy.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  The ladies are never going to look better than they do today.  Twenty years and two kids from now, nobody is going to care about your boobs.  If they do, the best the guys will notice is how the mighty have fallen.  Other girls might wonder if your back hurts.  Use what you've been blessed with to attract one quality guy.  Love him, and keep him happy and build a life together.  He'll always think of your boobs the way he first saw them.  He'll love you for it.  That, or use them to get some quick, cheep, attention.  Your call.

Stop this nonsense about boys not sexualizing a girls body.  It ain't gonna happen.  If it did, the girls would be the first to object and the loudest complainers.


A Tribute to Lightning

Five years ago I shared these posts with you all:  In Update I talked about making a long fast trip.  Then in Puppy Love I introduced you to the newest member of the Ipsa family.

Those posts were about a dog that I allowed the kids to name.  They called him Mr. Lightning.  The "Mr." was because he was a boy dog.  That our dog be a boy was very important to my son. "Lightning" because they thought he was a fast runner.

I had great expectations for Mr. Lightning.  I missed my Abby terribly after putting her down, and I had high hopes for another hunting dog.  Except things didn't work out that way.  As times got tougher I didn't have money to train the dog on live birds or even take him hunting.  We didn't go even once.

Mr. Lightning pointed, stalked every bird, ground squirrel and rabbit that came in our yard.  He had the pedigree and the natural instinct to be a solid hunter.  I never took him, because money.  Bad owner. Bad.

Mr. Lightning has been living in Michigan since October.  The in-laws have a large yard and Mr. Lightning has had about 20 acres of freedom to run in everyday.  There have been lots of critters to sniff out and trees and bushes to explore.  He's loved it.

A few weeks back the kids and him were playing behind the house and Mr. Lightning growled at my daughter.  He got between her and the large pile of brush and dead tree branches.  He keep pushing her back.  Little Ms just wanted a closer look, but Mr. Lightning wouldn't let her have one.

It seems that little girls believe that all cute furry woodland creatures, are just that.  They are cute.  They are furry.  They want to be petted.  The German Wirehaired Pointer knows better.  Mr. Lightning wouldn't let my daughter pet the raccoon that she saw in the brush pile.

At some point, I'm not sure which or exactly what happened, as I was told the story second hand over the phone, Mr. Lightning chased the coon up a tall pine tree.  This effectively ended any chance my daughter had of petting it, getting bit by a coon.

Yesterday Mrs Ipsa took Mr. Lightning to the vet.  Mrs Ipsa thought he was going blind.  He wasn't.  The most likely diagnosis was a brain tumor.  This is unusual in a 5 year old wirehair but not impossible.  Today he fell in a ditch full of water and could not stand up and shake himself off.  He made one final trip to the vet.

I received this email when I got up this morning:

RIP Lightning. Ear scratches, belly rubs and kisses given in your honor. Very good puppy! He had one last run today but stumbled a few times. Kids are sad but dealing with it. He is buried in the woods under large pine trees.

The place I'm in the process of moving to is full of pheasants, chuckers and grouse.  I was already making plans for this fall.  I told myself I'd make up for those lost years of not hunting.  It's not going to happen now.

Mr. Lightning never got to go bird hunting.  His hunts were confined to the back yard.  When it counted he knew what to do about a coon. 

Mr. Lightning jager drathaar.  Good boy. Goodbye.


Losing My Religion, part 5, Crazy Prayers

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

Thanks for following the story this far.  It seems like a long read to me as the one writing it.  It probably is too but its a story over 40 years in the making and most of it covers the last 3 years of my life.

To recap:

I am a modern day Pharisaical hypocritical sinner.
I started doing some things:
  1. Daily Bible reading,
  2. Fasting once a week,
  3. Tithing,
  4. Teaching (and therefore studying) on the Holy Spirit,
  5. Praying crazy prayers.
Of the five things listed above, only one of them is something that God says to test him on.  The rest of the time "testing God" is talked about as a bad thing.  As in, "do not put the Lord your God to the Test".  I don't know that what I was doing was "testing" God in the strictest sense of the word.  I was seeking something beyond the religion I had known.

The daily bible reading thing was pretty simple.  I had one of those "read the bible in a year" bibles that tries to put everything in the bible in its chronological order.  The readings are broken out into so many pages a year.  To "do it" you just have to read through the material for that day.

The fasting thing was simply fasting one 24 hour period once a week.

Tithing is just what it says, giving 10% of my family's pretax income to our local church.  I also started alms giving.  That is giving money directly to folks to help them out as an expression of my faith.

The main thing about the teaching isn't that I was doing it.  I've taught Sunday School and Wednesday nights for years.  I started teaching about the reality of the Holy Spirit, which meant I had to study about the Holy Spirit in a way I never had before.

I don't remember the exact prayers I said but I started praying some crazy stuff.  Here are some examples of things I said:
  1. Father please use this period of fasting to reveal Yourself to me.
  2. Father please show me any sins that I need to repent of that are keeping me from You.
  3. Father please give me the fullest expression of the Holy Spirit available today.
  4. Father make me sensitive to the leading of your Holy Spirit.
  5. Father please use me today to do something for Your glory/kingdom.  
I also prayed for God to directly intervene in the world.  For example: that story I mentioned before about giving a guy a job, or in healing sick people or whatever.  I also learned about and practiced laying out fleece.  Which is another topic for another time.

The thing about these kinds of prayers isn't that they don't get answered.  They do.  That my friends is more frightening and awe inspiring than I have words for.  Items 1 to 4 on that list can be very subjective.  You could say that they can be explained away or that they are too subjective to measure in a meaningful manner.  

Maybe you'd be right.  Except one thing, none of those kinds of prayer will ever provide empirical evidence, one way or the other that can be objectively measured, by a third party, either as a proof for against any hypothesis.  What they do is provide an experiential event that the person involved can bear witness to.

Next up, The Moose Story.


BJW - It's Time to Get Out of College When...

- You know the pizza boy by name.

- You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.

- You live for getting mail (e-mail included).

- Prank phone calls become funny again.

- Wal-Mart is the coolest store.

- World War III could take place and you'd be clueless.

- You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.

- Blacklights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.

- Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.

- You find out milk crates have so many uses.

- The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday (or Wednesday morning to Tuesday night).


Losing My Religion, part 4, Nails in the Coffin

Parts 1, 2, and 3 for those who want to follow in order.

Remember back in part 2, I said that rebellion was a major factor in my desire to sin.  I've never gotten over having a rebellious, questioning and contrary attitude.  I'm this way about politics, economics and lots of other things in life.  It shouldn't be a surprise to learn that I'm this way about church related stuff.

Back in part one, I talked about being self-righteous and legalistic.  The sin of pride should be included in that list as well.  One of the cool things about being a modern day Pharisee is that you know the book chapter and verse for what you think, and you have the skills and training to manipulate those verses to make your point.  Another cool thing about having those skills and knowledge is that you, have those skills and knowledge.  In my case arrogance, knowledge and my contrary attitude, led me down a path that I wasn't expecting.

In my denomination we don't talk about the Holy Spirit.  Universally folks would say they believe in the Holy Spirit.  By "believe" I mean we acknowledge "It's" existence.  The greatest extent of  "It's" existence is what we call "the indwelling".  Any reasonably informed preacher in my denomination will give you a trite and shallow explanation of what they think  "the indwelling" is or means.  I've never met one that could tell you more about it than to say "It's" something every Christian receives at baptism.  Which is scripturally actuate and practically useless.

Slightly off on a rabbit trail for a moment.  Try this experiment, ask your pastor, or favorite teacher in your church what the "indwelling of the Holy Spirit" is. See how satisfying of an answer you are given.  Then ask a follow up question: "How do I experience more of this?".  I'm interested in what they have to say.  Put it in the comments or email it if you care to share.

Folks in my church would tell you that everything the Bible had to say about the topic of the Holy Spirit was true and happened the way it was written.  They would also tell you that the Holy Spirt doesn't do much today, and certainly he doesn't manifest Himself in miraculous ways.  A key teaching, if we have one, is that everyone else is wrong about the Holy Spirit.

In my arrogance I decide to take on everything my denomination had to say about the Holy Spirit and teach a 13 week adult Sunday morning class on the topic.  To do that, I decided to study everything that the Bible had to say about the Holy Spirit, both old and new testament.  Because in order to teach you first have to learn, I undertook a substantial study on the topic.  I wasn't prepared for what I learned. 

A special shout out to Rabbi B for his assistance in Hebrew word studies and developing my understanding of the ruach hakodesh.