BJW - Navy

A US Navy cruiser pulled into port in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.

The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's, coming of age party. I would like you to send four well mannered, handsome, unmarried officers. They should arrive at 8:00 p.m. prepared for an evening of polite southern conversation and dance with lovely young ladies. One last point: No, Mexican's. We don't like Mexican's."

Sure enough, at 8:00 PM on Thursday, the lady heard a rap at the door.

She opened the door to find, in dress uniform, four exquisitely mannered, smiling black officers.

Her jaw hit the floor, but pulling herself together she stammered, "There must be some mistake!"

"On no, madam," said the first officer, "Captain Martinez doesn't make mistakes.

My Father's War

John McCain died this last week.  Some are hailing him as a statesman, a war hero and a great American.  They are trotting out the past and striking up the band.  I'm not.

Back in the 1950's there was a little boy.  He had a dream.  He wanted to grow up and be a preacher.  In the 60's he graduated from high-school.  Vietnam was going on.  Still he had his dream and he was accepted into preaching school.

In the beginning of the war you couldn't get drafted if you were in college.  They called it a student deferral.  Dad never got called so he never had to use this excuse.  He loved college.  He went on mission trips and got to speak at lots of little churches that needed help.  He loved his classes and by all accounts did well.  Except in Greek.  He flunked Greek.  Which meant he flunked out of his program.  If he couldn't pass Greek, he couldn't be a preacher.

Dad could have stayed in college.  He could have changed his major.  He wasn't going to do that.  The country, his country, was at war.  If he could have followed his dream and been a preacher he would have.  He wasn't going to be drafted or serve with those who had.  At that time only the Marines were not accepting draftees.  He went and saw the Marine recruiter.  He was asked to list his choices for a military occupation specialty.  Chaplin, Chaplin's Assistant,  embassy duty, or raiders were some of his choices.  The Marines looked over those MOS's and promptly shaved his head and sent him to the Nam.

Dad was part of the security detail that guarded the Da Nang Air Base.  By all accounts he did his duty and was honorably discharged after being medevacked out days before the Tet Offensive.

I've left out a number of details, but that's the basic story of Viet Nam, My Father's War.  He has fired his weapon in anger.  He doesn't know if he ever killed anyone.  He never won a medal or did anything particularly heroic.  He did his job and went home.

As far as I can tell, my father's story is a lot like the stories of other men who wore their countries uniform and fought during its wars.  They went and did the job they were asked to do.  They may not have won any medals or special recognition.  They did their part as best as they could.

Then there is John McCain, the "war hero".  I know McCain's story too.  I know he crashed his jet on a carrier.  McCain's daddy was an admiral so he got to stay.  Lots of us get second chances we don't deserve so he gets a pass on this one.

McCain got shot down.  We don't know the details as nearly all of McCain's military records are still classified.  He got captured.  He became a POW.  Then based on the accounts we do have, he sold out and became a collaborator.  I'm going to give him a pass on all of this too, because I don't know how long he held out or how bad it got before he gave in.  From what we do know it was very, very bad.

My father didn't tell me this story, but other family members who were there did.  After dad was home, my grandfathers, both WWII vets and some other men took my dad down to the VFW to buy him a beer and get him a membership in the VFW.  As far as I know, beer has never touched my fathers lips.  That might be why my father never told me this story.

Anyway they go to the VFW.  The fella's have their membership cards and they order their drinks.  My grandfather introduces my dad and says he wants to get him his membership.  The VFW man asks about dad's service and informs him that he can't join because Viet Nam was a police action and not a war.

My grandfather never liked my dad all that much.  He married his daughter and was family, but the two of them were opposites of each other in just about every way.  Grandpa tore up his VFW card.  He wouldn't belong to a group that wouldn't accept a man that fought for his country.

John McCain got back from Viet Nam, stayed in the Navy and did well as a navel officer. He decided to get himself elected to congress for a couple of terms and then the Senate.  McCain had his scandals, his failures, his career as a RINO.  He had his chance to stick up for his country and his fellow service men.  He didn't.  He sold out our POW's.  As I remember hearing it, one of his buddies, or a family member had a great trade deal with Viet Nam, if only the US would normalize relations.  Poof, despite the fact that we knew in 1993 that the Russians had documentation of over 1,200 American POW's in South East Asia, they all suddenly "disappeared".

Viet Nam was my father's war.  Those POW's are my countrymen.  If those men are still alive they would be in their 60's to 70's.  My guess is they probably aren't around today.  From 1993 to 1995 those guys, our guys, had one last slim chance of coming home.  John McCain was part of the gang that killed that chance.

McCain's military service exceeds that of many men.  He had a rough time of it in Viet Nam.  I respect that fact.  Why is his service record still classified?  He spent 5 years as a POW.  None of the planes he flew then are still relevant today.  Nothing he knew as a navel officer has any bearing on military actions now.  What is so important that it is 50 years secret?

McCain's conduct after the war is reprehensible. His ability to flip flop unequaled.  Did the democrats have the goods to black mail him throughout his congressional career?  Little else, unless his membership in the Keating Five was more than it appeared, explains his voting record.

McCain's military service exceeds that of many men.  So does that of General Benedict Arnold.

BJW - Puns

You can't run through a campground.

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

“When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.”


It's so quiet you can hear a pun drop.


Vaporizers: Some people haven't the foggiest idea how to use them.

I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded...

but it was only on paper view.

Did you know Raymond Burr had a brother who was a lumberjack?

His name was Tim.

Our top story today:

According to a recent study, 9 out of 10 people who are afraid of hurdles never get over it.

BJW - For the New Parents

What's it like having a toddler?

Imagine raising a heavily caffeinated chimpanzee who is allergic to sleep.


"I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure the kids took it."


Seeing my 11-year-old son perusing a website filled with photos of Britney Spears, I commented, "She certainly is pretty. Which picture do you like best?"

"I don't know," he mumbled, embarrassed by his newfound interest in girls. "I'm just reading about her."

I came closer and peered at the screen. "Oh, really?" I said.

"So when did you learn to read Spanish?


My husband, Cal, grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong.

"I have to ask you to move your car," Cal told him.

"Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?"

"No," Cal replied, "it's at the wrong address."

PSA

Sturgis starts this week...

A man appears before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, 'Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me.'"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago."

Consider yourself warned.

BJW - Racism Today?

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days... ever wonder why? 

A customer walks into an establishment and asks, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?" The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"

The guy (clearly offended) says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"

The clerk says, "Well, no, I probably wouldn't!"

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."



Church Goers

Bernie and Esther were not the most religious couple and in fact, they really only went to church once a year.

As they were leaving the church, the minister said, "Bernie, it sure would be nice to see you and Esther here more than once a year!"

"I know," replied Bernie, "but at least we keep the Ten Commandments."

"That's great," the minister said. "I'm glad to hear that you keep the Commandments."

"Yep," Bernie said proudly, "Esther keeps six of them and I keep the other four."

Wyoming Political Ads

It's primary season in Wyoming again.  The primaries are when we pick which Republican we are going to elect to not accomplish a single thing that is important to us as a state.  Since its important that a Republican not do any good what-so-ever on our behalf in DC, and not a Democrat, who would certainly do us harm, this is the big election cycle for us.

It's a pretty good system.  It mostly works.  We vote for a Republican.  Doesn't generally matter which one.  We send them to DC and they work tirelessly accomplishing nothing for anyone back home.  This plan is infinitely better than when they feel the need to "do something".  When they "do something" it's generally a horrible mistake that serves to set freedom back and wreck western civilization.

This year some bozo named Dave Dodson wants Dr. John Borrasso's senate seat.  I know he is a bozo for a couple of reasons.  1. He lives in Jackson Hole.  Jackson Hole is not apart of Wyoming, even if they drew the lines on the map so that it looks like it is.  Jackson is the haunt of limousine liberals who make big bucks elsewhere and tax shelter here.  2. I've seen his adds.  I mean I HAVE SEEN HIS FREAKING AD!  Over and over and over.....you get the idea.

If you use a big fancy ad agency to buy internet ads in a state with a small population, they will target your audience.  That's what they are getting paid for.  It wouldn't be so bad if it was just banner ads.  Dodson has bought all the little t.v. type ads.  I can't get away from it.

I've made my decision.  Dr. Borrasso has never impressed me as our senator.  He hasn't.  I've spoken to the man.  He's a nice enough guy but not very conservative.  He's a little obtuse when it comes to economics and freedom, but good on the second amendment.  If Dodson is to be believed Dr. Borrasso is not a good man.  That is the main point of the ad.  The other point is that Dodson would be better.

Dodson would be better because...Dodson created 20,000 jobs.  Now only about 10,500 people live in Jackson Hole.  Maybe he got everyone an illegal alien as a maid and the illegals don't show up in the official census.  I don't know.  I'd sure like to see those jobs he made appear out of thin air.   I don't think they are in Wyoming, if they are anyplace.

Dodson may be right.  John Borrasso may be the devil incarnate.  Kinda doubt it, but maybe.  One thing our current waste of space in a political place hasn't done over the last 11 years is torture me with endless internet ads about "his (all BS) plan" to put Wyoming first.

Kudos for trying to ride in on Trump's slogan but, boring politician, endless BS ads .... NO VOTE!



One last thing.  If you can afford to live in Jackson Hole, why would you spend even one minute in Sodom on Potomac?  NO ONE with Wyoming values would willing do such a thing.  Our current congress critter is a life long DC insider who lives in Virginia (just like she did before being elected to the House).  Mike Enzi isn't a rich man.  Nobody with Jackson Hole money does anything for altruistic reasons.

BJW - Dog Driver

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian.

She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention.

She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped.

I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right.

"I'm fine," she assured me, "but I hate to think what could have happened to me if that dog hadn't honked."

Apparently, you can't use "beef-stew" as a password.

It's not stroganoff.