Black Firday

Seasons Greatings

Helpfull

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting.

When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?" she replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "Six."

The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

He said, "What is it?"

The husband replied, "She also stole a can of peas."

Monday Blues

Secrets

Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seem to go hand in hand. I wasn't surprised when a friend of my daughter showed me a Japanese symbol on her hip.

"Please don't tell my parents," she begged.

"I won't," I promised. "Just curious, what does that stand for?"

She replied, "Honesty."

Football

Two, One Liners

Always try to be modest … and be proud of it!

"My steering wheel won't turn," Tom said straightforwardly.

Veteran's Day

I remember these guys:

If you truly appreciate our vets:

Cause I thought it was funny.

Happy Birthday USMC

Comming Up

Getting Hired at the FBI

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Goober - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket - went in to try out for the job.

"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Goober, what is 1 and 1?"

"11" he replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."

"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Today and tomorrow."

He was again surprised that Goober supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

"Now Goober, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Goober looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, Goober wandered over to the barbershop where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.

Goober was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

Stop It!!!

Let it Begin