John: "I haven't found the right woman yet."
George: "So what are you looking for?"
John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper. She's got to know how to handle money, have a nice and pleasant personality and money. She's got to have money. And a nice big house wouldn't hurt either."
George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!"
John: "Oh, it's okay, if she is crazy."
OK, you've provided so many jokes for us over the years, it's time we started repaying you:
ReplyDeleteWHITE HOUSE FENCE
Three contractors bid on a repair to the White House fence. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.
The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000.”
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?
The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.
"Done!" replies the government official.
And that, my friends, is why D.C. is called a swamp!
Good one. I'm not sure true stores count. Still a good one.
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