BJW - Get'n Older

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was.

I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

Sweet Home Alabama

They still make men in Alabama.
Alabama McDonald's gunman killed by armed dad, who is injured in shootout
No matter what the gun control crowd preaches, armed citizens do more good than unarmed victims.  I wish they had more useful information in these "news" reports.  One thing that is clear, at least to me, is that this dad stayed focused while he and his children took hostile fire and he stopped the perpetrator before more harm was done to himself or anyone else.

That's more than being prepared, which he was.

That's more than being willing to take a stand, which he did.

That's more than being in the right place, at the right time, which is what happened.

That's more than making a tough choice at the drop of a hat, which he did.

This dad could have grabbed his kids and ran.  Instead he grabbed his gun and fought.  He fought when he got shot, he fought when his kid got shot.  He fought on and saw the battle to the end.  Because of that, that willingness to be prepared, take a stand and make the tough choice, there is a McDonalds full of folks that didn't die.

That's what it means to be a man.  Good on ya'll Alabama.  You still raise your sons to be men.

BJW - Opps

A customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop:

"Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of the sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in bloomers."

Cashier replies:

"That'll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten dollars for the flamingos, six dollars for the sunflowers, and an apology to my wife!"

A thief and his girlfriend were walking down Main Street when she spotted a beautiful diamond ring in a jewelry store window. "Wow, I'd sure love to have that!" she said.

"No problem, baby," the thief says, throwing a brick through the glass and grabbing the ring.

A few blocks later, his girlfriend was admiring a leather jacket in another shop window.

"What I'd give to own that!" she said.

"Sure thing, darling," the guy says again, throwing another brick through the window and snatching the coat.

Finally, turning for home, they pass a Mercedes car dealership. "Boy, I'd do anything for one of those!" she said to her boyfriend.

"Forget that!" the guy moans. "Do you think I'm made of bricks or something!?"

One Week Challange ... Failure

I started out with good intentions.  Really I did.

However, I have a family trip coming up in February and I had to book someplace to stay.  Then I had to make a purchase for work and I added a diet coke to the order.  So today after getting out of the office I filled up the truck (I would have made it one more day on the gas I had) and headed up the mountains for some R&R.  In my defense it was over 70 degrees out and I've not had a day off in while and I KNOW winter is coming soon.  So I headed out to go fishing one last time only to find that the US Forrest service closed my fishing hole due to a bear attack.

In other news, Blogger has me blocked from commenting on my own blog as well as any others.

BJW - Another Western

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a tired old mule.

The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.

He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whisky in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, can you dance?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No son, I don't dance . . . never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now!" and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.

Everybody standing around was laughing.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.

The silence was deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 12 gauge barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said;

"Son, have you ever kissed a mule's bottom?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir .. . . but . . . but I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for all of us here:

* Don't be arrogant.

* Don't waste ammunition.

* Whisky makes you think you're smarter than you are.

* Always make sure you know who is in control.

* And finally, don't mess around with old folks; they didn't get old by being stupid.

I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?

Thoughts for Today

Gun control is Liberal hate crime against America.

Driving a full size truck with a V6 is like kiss'n a pretty girl that don't kiss back.

Change we can believe in, isn't the same as change we want.

Average cost of 4 year public college education:  $80,840
Average wage of 4 year college graduate:  $49,785/year.
Average cost of trade school:  $33,000.
Average journeyman lineman wage: $43/hr. $89,440/year.
How smart is college again?

If third world emigrants are such smart, hard working and industrious people, why don't they make their home countries a better place to live?

One Week Challange

I've been asked to look into facilitating a Dave Ramsey class.  I've done this before and it can be both fun and irritating.  I'm seriously considering doing it again.

Dave doesn't have this in his class but its a technique I've used before to help people save for buying a house.  Here's the challenge:

Go one solid week without buying a single thing.  No groceries.  No gas.  No Cokes or coffees. No eating out.  You have to live on what you have in your house.  This means brown bagging it everyday for lunch.  You get an "out".  If you have a bill you need to pay it.  Otherwise no spending on anything.

I'm making myself do it this week, just to see if I still can.  All my bills are paid for the month so I'm not worried about that.  I'm giving myself one "out".  I sometimes need to travel for work on short notice, so if I go out of town for work or have to entertain for business, I can spend the company's money.

My only worry is that I forgot to fill up the truck and only have a touch over half a tank of gas.  We'll see if I make it.

BJW - Newly Weds

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage."

His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?"

"Oh yes, very much," he said," but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiancé will be put off by them."

"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom." Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful."

"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning."

"No, you don't understand, my morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my fiancé will not want to sleep in the same room with me."

Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth."

"I shouldn't say good morning or anything?" the daughter asked.

"Not a word," her mother affirmed.

"Well, it's certainly worth a try," she thought.

The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband woke with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searched the bed. This, of course, woke his bride and without thinking, she asked, "What on earth are you doing?"

"Oh, my," he replied, "you've swallowed my sock!"

BJW - Cowboys

Two cowboy friends, Wally and Dallas, each bought a horse one summer. They enjoyed riding around and doing the things that cowboys do. When winter came, however, they did not want to pay to have their horses stabled for the winter. Instead, they decided to release them in a pasture and get them in the spring.

Wally noticed a problem however, and he asked Dallas, "How will we know which horse is which when we pick them up?"

Dallas answered, "Well, I've been thinking about that, and I have the answer! We'll cut the mane off of my horse and we'll cut the tail off of yours. That way, we'll know which horse belongs to you and which belongs to me."

That seemed like a great plan, and so after the trimmings, the horses were released into the pasture. When spring came around, Wally and Dallas came to get their horses, only to discover that the mane and tail had grown back during the winter.

"Dallas, since the mane and tail have grown back, how do we know which is yours and which is mine?" Wally asked.

Dallas responded, "Well, I guess you'll have to take the black one and I'll take the white one."