Puns for your Wednesday

There is a national celebration in Egypt this Sunday? They take out all of the artifacts from the museums and put them on public display. The children dance around them, and there is much laughter and gaiety. It's mummy's day. (Steve Jacobson)

Some power saws are a cut above the rest. (Pun of the Day)

The invention of the steamboat by Robert Fulton caused a network of rivers to spring up. (Richard Lederer)

The movie they made about this French guy who never says "goodbye" without delivering a batch of one-liners? "Au Revoir Runs Through Wit" (Gary Hallock)

Members of the Audubon Society all look through their binocs and chant, "See! Hawks! See! Hawks!"(Cynthia MacGregor)

A note left for a pianist from his wife: "Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet." (Bad Puns)

The nonunion laundry worker said during a labor dispute, "Iron while the strike is hot." (Frank Stewart)

Show me a really insulting telegram and I'll show you a barbed wire! (Tony Thoennes)

The carpenter varnished without a trace. (Win Ben Stein's Money)

What do you get when you roll a hand grenade across a kitchen floor? Linoleum Blownapart. (Ron Klar)

England and America are two countries separated by the same language. (George Bernard Shaw)