Investment Bleg

With a new addition to the family, I’m having to look into changing some of our financial planning. One of the things I’ve started looking into is the Cloverdale Education Savings Accounts (ESA’s). I’d appreciate any advice or thoughts from ya’ll that have set one up for your own kids. If you know of a broker that does an especially good job or a company with a good program that I should check out I’d appreciate hearing about them. The people that I normally do business with are able to help me with this, but since it’s a new area for me I’d appreciate hearing from the voice of experience. Thanks.

Archeology Today

Date Line September 28, 12,006 AD

These are the remains of a 10,000 year old liberal that were recently un-earthed in Massachusetts. The remains closely resemble those of liberals unearthed in New York, Washington DC and California. This find while interesting, pales in comparison to a discovery earlier this year in Washington DC, where 535 similar skeletons were unearthed inside what appeared to be a large domed structure.

New Addition

For those of you interested in economics I’ve added a link under Archie’s Neighborhood.

Mish’s Global Economics is a good blog by a highly regarded analyst. I recommend him.

Lot Lizards

Back in the day between undergrad and grad school I used to own a red Ford Escort. It was cheap, gas friendly, transportation. It was my first car that I bought on credit. It met its doom when a drunken Canadian slammed into the front wheel and totaled it out. After getting the insurance check I still had to pay 4 months worth of payments.

Lucky for me, mom and dad had an old piece of junk that they were willing to let me use. Secretly I think they were hoping I’d wreck it so they could buy a new one. Being 22 and driving the car that you used to drive at 16 can take its toll emotionally on a guy. After 6 months of driving the blue beater I was ready for some new wheels, any wheels. I NEEDED a car.

I should mention that I was working my way through school and my job at the time was selling vinyl replacement windows. If I was lucky I was making $200 a week take home. I needed a car dealer that would work with me and give me credit.

Enter Sundance Chevrolet. “write this down on the dust on your dash, we want to deal on an automobile with you”, “if we make a buck its shear luck” “easy financing”. Easy financing? I’m there.

So I went to the “Chevy ranch” i.e. lot lizard land with cowboy boots and knock off Stetsons.

The sales guy and showed me around. We found the only car on the place I could actually afford BOTH the payment and the insurance for, a Volkswagen Fox, 48,000 miles, not a lot of rust, and the vinyl seats weren’t in too bad of shape, about $2,800. (I got screwed, I know, brand new with tax title and extended warranty it didn’t cost $5 grand, I was 22). I counted out ten $100 dollar bills and started filling out the loan ap.

Then the sales manager showed up to “close the deal”, i.e. beat me up and screw me harder. He informed me that the car with taxes, title, dealership BS fees, etc would cost me $3,050. Then he started with the hard sell, the “T” close and a few other cheap tricks. I told him that I couldn’t afford a dime over $3,000. Two hours into the close he went for the “take away close”. For those of you who don’t know this is a trick that they use to pretend that they aren’t going to deal with you and start to slowly take the deal off the table so you think you can’t get the car. The plan is that you will see the $50 as no big deal and freak out that you might not get the car, so you’ll give in.

I didn’t. I was pissed off after the whole deal. I made the sales guy count my hundreds back to me, one at a time, putting each one of them in my hand, right in front of his sales manager. Then I turned to his boss and said, “one of us came in here today looking to deal on an automobile, it wasn’t you”. I walked out, back to the blue beater. Before I made it across the parking lot, the sales guy was barking at my heals about how he had just got off the phone with the owner of the dealership (lie), told him how big of a bind I was in (big lie), how the owner felt sorry for me (bigger lie), and how even though they were only making $78 bucks on the deal (huge freaking lot lizard lie that Satan himself would have blushed over), they would sell it to me for $3,000.

I bought the car.

Lessons learned:

Never buy a car on time, you get screwed.

Never tell a car dealer your needs and concerns, they’ll use it against you.

Never buy a car from a lot lizard, you can’t win at their game.

When you encounter a take away close, walk away as fast as you can and don’t get reroped into going back to the table.

I should have counter offered $1,500 for the car, I doubt they paid more than $500 for it when they bought it.

New Daddy Humor

Anyone have any funny new parent jokes or stories?

Post em if ya got em.

Breaking News

Sorry I haven’t posted in the last few weeks. Res Jr. is running the show around here and I’ve been too tired to get on line at the end of the day.


Its not just another conspiracy theory if its true:

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claim an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.

This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the Federal Government.

However, you may well NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly Nine months after that historic day, Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., Hillary Rodham, John F. Kerry, William Jefferson Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, Charles E. Schumer, and Barbara Boxer were born.

That piece of information has cleared up a lot of things for me.

The truth is out there.

Pictures

Thank you to everyone for the kind words and congratulations. Here is a glimpse at our bundle of joy.

After 27 Hours …

At 4:58 am MST 9-9-06 we had a son, 7.09lbs, 20 inches. Mom and baby are doing great, dad and mom are sleepy.

WTW – True Stories from Mississippi

WARNING DO NOT DRINK ANYTHING WHEN READING THIS STORY!

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome
including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious dad,can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!" "Oh my! gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife. "Well what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked. "Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?) We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified. "Do something, Dad!" my son urged. "Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?) "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. "I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically. "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. "Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back."

He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron." We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just...just.. excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay. "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea,"

Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

2 - Lizards - $140.

1 - Cage - $50... Trip to the Vet - $30...

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie.....Priceless

Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs

I Must be Real Rich

It’s Sunday. Part of my Sunday routine involves filling the wife’s car with gas and buying the newspaper. I do this at the gas station near my house, which is near the greasy spoon where I eat some times. I normally pay at the pump these days. Who carries enough cash to pay for a tank of gas? I go inside to get my paper, while the gas is pumping. I get in line behind one of the waitress who normally brings me breakfast. She and her husband are heading out of town for the weekend. I recognize her husband but I can’t place him and then he and the cashier start talking about where he lives. Then it hits me who he is. He owns a decent size ranch, and oil wells, and gas wells, in short he’s loaded.

His wife brings me my eggs for minimum wage and a buck tip. She is old enough to be my mother. Herein lays a secret of successful people. They are willing to work.

Six years ago they started drilling gas wells on this guys place. At that time his share was $90,000 per month in owner royalties. It has only gone up since they have yet to finish setting up production and spot prices are higher. He’s been producing oil from deep wells since the mid 70’s. He owns tons of real estate. He works his own ranch and sells hay and cattle. His wife works too, as a waitress, in a dive that serves $5 breakfasts and $3.75 specials.

If you had $90,000 a month in passive income would you get up at 4 am to stand on your feet all day for maybe $65 gross, including tips? More importantly would you live like you only made $65 bucks a day? Herein is another secret of successful people, they live on less than what they make.

Just so you know, I’m aware of some of this guys story. He comes from a Wyoming ranching family but he didn’t inherit the ranch his brother did. He had to move here and get a job and start out from nothing. Then he bought a piece of dry ground and started running a few head while working shift work. Then he bought more land and built a bigger herd. He kept it up till the ranch was big enough to support it’s self. His wife worked to bring in extra cash while he was investing every spare cent and hour on the ranch. It paid off.

Res Mail

Hello,

I came across your site while searching the net for some quality biology and physics websites. I think you did a great job with your site.

My name is Gabriel. I work for The European Federation of Biophysics Organisation (EFBF).

I would like to add your site to our usefull links page ( http://www.efbf.org/links.php )
and I was wondering if you can post a link with our site in your website.

For your convenience I send you bellow the code for our website: Biophysics ORG

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact me and I'll answer your questions promtly.

We are Nonprofit organization .
Best regards,
Gabriel
European Federation of Biophysics Organisation
efbf.org
HPM G5
ETH Honggeberg
CH-8093 Zurich / Switzerland
Tel: +41-1-638-3453
Fax: +41-1-693-10 73 and 693 11 51

Yes I do have a question. You were searching for quality biology and physics web sights and you found my place. Are schools in Switzerland as bad as American public schools?

Apparently.

Wow! Rock in "D"

Makes me wish I had kept practicing when I was into this stuff as a kid.

Be patient with the download they get a lot of requests for this and that slows up the bandwidth.