GFF-Excuse Edition

My apologizes for the lack of posts.

I have had a couple of things going on this summer that have cut into my blog time.  The first is a health related issue and the other is job related.  It seems that I have put more on my plate and bitten off more than I want to chew.  In any event I'll be resigning after this project is finished.  Hopefully it will be done in the next five days.  Which will leave me with one job and lots to do before moose season.

Moose hunting will take up most of my thoughts.  Maybe some of that will make its way to the blog.

BJW Married

It was Sally’s first time going for jury duty and she was a little bit apprehensive. “I would just like you to know” said Sally as soon as she was in front of the judge “that I feel very strongly that capital punishment is morally unjust and incorrect.” “That’s OK , said the judge “capital punishment is not a possibility in this case so it’s perfectly fine for you to serve on this jury.” “What’s the case about?” Asked Sally. “Well Mrs. Smith is filing a suit against her husband for gambling away the money she had saved for remodeling her bathroom”, replied the judge. “Alright” replied Sally “I’ll serve on this one, I may have been wrong about the capital punishment thing after all.”

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home.

 "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word.

 They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

Argument with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement. At the end, you ignore everything and click ‘I agree’.

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked ... with beer.

A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team," "That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team." "That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."

A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." 

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.  The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Jade Helm 15

I wasn't aware that there was an extended special forces training program being conducted across the western United States this summer.  Apparently there is one going on, and apparently it has some people very upset.

Folks being upset at the US military establishment is nothing new.  Sometimes the angst is well deserved.  I'm not naïve enough to believe that the powers that be are all good guys simply looking out for our best interest.  I'm not paranoid enough to believe that everything happening in our country is a giant conspiracy theory either.

I guess that leaves me in a state of perpetual agnosticism when it comes to following the news cycle.  The MSM has consistently demonstrated that it is the official propaganda branch of national socialism going back to the Clinton administration.  After nearly a quarter of a century of sectarian "consensus building" and "advancing the narrative" I can't accept anything they say at face value.

I can't whole heartedly side with the so called "conspiracy" crowd either.  These guys have been pestering me at gun shows since the 70's.  Mostly they are harmless, a little nutty and not overly concerned with personal hygiene.  That doesn't make them wrong.  It just makes me less likely to pay them much mind.

I freely admit that I can't be bothered to take the time to learn something about what's going on with Jade Helm 15.  I already know that that its supposed to be a secret military training exercise for special forces operators.  They probably don't have a tell all Facebook page with everything I could possibly want to know on it.

So what do we know about Jade Helm 15?

• Folks who are big into conspiracies as a hobby are saying there is a conspiracy
• That doesn't make them wrong
• Maybe the fluoride in the water is decreasing their credibility
• The MSM is in favor of Jade Helm
• Since when is the MSM a fan of military exercises that don't involve sensitivity training, pink camo and KY-jelly?
• They are spending time and effort mocking people that most everyone else simply ignores 
• We have an openly anti-American administration running the show in DC
• Nothing, not one policy, not one directive, not one executive order, has advanced the interests of the American people since 2008.
• The administration has consistently weakened the abilities or overextended the capacity of the American military
• There is no reason for a spec ops training program to be a national news story.  The fact that it is would normally be considered a failure

It occurs to me that when the US took military control of Panama back in the 80's they experimented with a system designed to maximize military presence while minimizing military violence.  For months leading up to the invasion, our forces had several well published (in Panama) training exercises.  Sometimes they had several exercises each day in multiple locations throughout the small country.  News stories telling people where and what was going on became a normal and ignored event.

Then one day at o'dark thirty the exercises were for real.  The Panamanians guarding Noriega's plane informed the S.E.A.L. team trying to secure it that they could not conduct their "training" exercises in that location. Noriega's men managed to put up a defense before being beaten.  The rest of Panama fell with little or no resistance.

Is the Jade Helm story the first indication of something  brewing in the American west, or simply the result of a slow news cycle?  I'm enthusiastically agnostic either way.

BJW Q No A

"Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was asalted."

I've just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There's no menu, we just give you what you deserve.

I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted.

Today I gave my dead batteries away....Free of charge.

Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.

If you are running next to me on the treadmill, the answer is YES, we are racing.

Being honest may not get you a lot of FRIENDS but it'll always get you the RIGHT ONES.

I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.

I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house

I'm so bright my mother calls me son.

My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.

The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

One hat said to the other you stay here I'll go on a head

What fits your schedule better......Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?

Silence is golden, Duct tape is silver

I know some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.

I have never seen a fruit PUNCH and a cereal BOX

If you think of a better fish pun. Let minnow.

A three legged dog walks in the bar and says - "I'm lookin' for the guy who shot my paw"

I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.

Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?

If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches?

Did you hear about the farmer who fed his cows birdseed and started selling cheep milk

A butcher goes on a first date and says 'It was nice meating you'

two lumps of vomit are flying through the air one says to the other ''you look upset'' the other one says ''I know i was brought up around here.

2 Pacs of Eminems for 50 Cents? Man that's Ludacris

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

I wonder if earth makes fun of other planets for having no life.

It's been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you!

Don't tell a secrets in a cornfield. There a too many ears

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Why do you drive down a parkway but park in a driveway?

fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. Shaer ti whit yuor fienrds.

I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.

Why does no one on icarly have a dad?

I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.

Why is everything delivered by a ship called cargo but if it's delivered by a car it's a shipment?

Man delivers load of bubblewrap. Where do you want this he asks. Just pop it in the corner was the reply.

I moustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later.

"When I die, I want my tombstone to be a WiFi hotspot......that way people visit more often."

Why do they call it a hot water heater when you don't have to heat hot water?

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He said, "Call for backup."

A Good Day at Work

Hero SAS sniper saves father and eight-year-old son from being beheaded by ISIS maniac

The brave British marksman saved the terrified eight-year-old and his father after taking out the crazed jihadi with a head shot from 1,000 metres away. 

The special forces crack shot then killed two other members of the hated terror group, who were also taking part in the sick planned execution. 

ISIS militants had decreed that the little boy and his father must die after branding them "infidels" because they refused to denounce their faith. 

They were just seconds from death when the hero sniper intervened to stop the barbaric killing in the Syrian desert. The pair were part of the minority Shia sect of Islam which ISIS considers to be heretical. 

First, the pic at the top of the article is a AW 338 not the 50 cal mentioned in the article.  Since a Brit wrote the article for other Brits, we probably should cut him some slack.  At least they didn't use a picture of a Red Ryder.

Second, I agree that fighting to protect someone is brave.  If you are, as the story claimed, 1,000 meters away from a man with a knife, you aren't in much physical danger.  Even if you account for the other guys with AK 47's, you're still not in any real danger.  Being able to hit 3 bad guys within seconds and keeping them from doing harm, makes you a good shooter.  Job well done!  Accolades for being brave? Not so much.

Third, the sniper isn't a hero.  I think what he did was good, right, just, and most defiantly necessary.  I'm glad he did it.  I'm all for stopping the murder of good people by Muslims.  That makes you a soldier doing his job, but it doesn't make you a hero.

Forth, I would enjoy having better information than what the author chose to share.  We are told that:

• The first shot was a head shot.  I find this unlikely for a couple of practical reasons.  
• The shot was done at 1,000 meters.  This probably isn't true either.
• We are lead to believe that the shooting was fast and that all targets were instantly neutralized
• This was done supposable by:
• 1 shooter
• 50 cal rifle
• Silenced rifle
• I'd like to know if the weapon was a semi-auto similar to a 82A1
• I'd like to know if the SAS stops the executions of Christians and Jews or is it just Shia Muslims that are under its protection.

I'm fully aware that everything in the article is within the realm of theoretical probability.  I've made 1,000 yard shots on 9 inch targets (apx size of kill zone on Human head).  It can be done.  I've also shot 50 cal precision rifles with quality optics.

Long distance shooting is precision work.  The 50 cal rifle, even with a silencer, recoils a good deal.  For one shooter to score 3 one shot kills on 3 targets in a short time frame he would have to manage the rifles recoil fast enough to make those shots before the targets could move.  This leads me to believe he would have been using a semi-auto rifle.  Those tend to recoil fairly dramatically.

Here is what I think happened.  A spotter shooter team or maybe two or more teams working together set up at different hides and simultaneously eliminated a series of targets.  I also think the distance was under 1,000 yards and/or they did not use head shots.

The SAS are professionals.  They would have done everything they could to assure victory.  Which means fighting smart and giving themselves the best edge.  Nick Gutterridge wanted to write an engaging piece on a disserving story.  He succeeded.... but he is short on facts, and believability.

It's Over

Sturgis is over, so only another week or so before the biker traffic finally goes back to normal.

I had a conversation with a guy who went to the rally.  He told me that the attendance was 1.4 million this year.  I guess they were expecting a big turn out because it was the 75th anniversary this year.

FWIW the population of South Dakota is 843,000.

I never would have guessed our resident grandmother, Susan was biker chick.