A Whining Review

As Water Boy can attest, I enjoy good wine. Generally I can pick pretty good ones too. I’m not a snob about it or picky. Should I ever have the pleasure of dinning in your home and you graciously serve me a glass I will accept it and toast you and yours with a glad hart.

Something horrible has happened in the world of red wine. For several years I’ve enjoyed the occasional glass of grape form the pinot noir family. In the US a handful of vineyards grew the stuff and a small batch of winemakers produced exceptional fare. Due to the fact that the stuff was virtually unheard of and “merlot” and “Cabernet Sauvignon” were all the rage, you could buy excellent vintages for just a few dollars.

Then the whole deal went right in the crapper. Pinot became popular, then it became trendy. Now it’s a crap shoot to get a decent bottle of the stuff for under $30. I used to be able to pick up excellent stuff for 10 bucks and never have to worry about the quality. There is such a high market demand now; everyone is making something they are calling Pinot and selling it in hopes of tricking the unsuspecting public into thinking you can pass grape cool aid through a radiator, sick it in a green bottle and sell it for $25. Perhaps I’m being much too kind and generous with my evaluation of this years biggest mistake purchase.

Turning Leaf Vineyards is a typical mass market producer. This I know, and knew before buying the bottle. What can I say? It was on sale for $14.99 and I assumed that the word “Reserve” on the bottle of 2005 Provincia Di Pava meant that in the tradition of Vineyards all over the freaking world that it was some of their better product.

Little did I know, “reserve” means; that even in America’s culture of mass produced junk and drive through “dinning”, that profit hungry corporate executives with no sense of shame, who eagerly look for opportunities to pimp out their own mothers and sisters to syphilitic johns just to make 50 cents, do in fact have some scruples and reservations about the stuff they put in a bottle and call wine.

If you’re a hard core drunk, living on skid row just waiting for the DT’s or liver failure to kill your sorry butt and someone offers you a swig from a bottle of Turning Leaf 2005 Reserve Pinot Noir, look em right in the eye and say “no thanks, I’ve got standards”.