Marriage has existed as a concept far longer than any human government. Traditionally the relationship is defined as one man and one women in a monogamous sexual cohabitation. Open marriages, polygamy and polyandry occur, but the majority of cases called "marriage" involve the concept of one man, one women in a lifetime monogamous relationship. This definition has existed as an "ideal" even in cultures with wide spread homosexuality and polygamy.
In America, and most of the western world arraigned marriages are rare. Most people choose who they marry. However this has not always been the case. Arraigned or semi-arraigned marriage is very common throughout history.
In my scenario we had a married couple. It doesn't matter why they married, if it was their own choice or by arrangement. What matters is:
- Marriage by definition is a monogamous sexual relationship
- implicitly (explicitly in some cases) holding the promise of sexual gratification
- that they cannot seek sexual fulfillment with anyone else
What if I'm not, "in the mood".
Everybody reading this blog that's been married for any amount of time has had sex/put out when one of you wasn't "in the mood". The experience isn't anybody's best effort in those cases. It doesn't matter if the "experience" is everything you both wanted (its not always gong to be). The fact is it is something human beings need, even if we aren't always on the same schedule.
Marriage is the guarantee that your mate is going to meet your sexual needs, and you are going to meet theirs. "In the mood" doesn't matter. If you are married, don't you bear some of the responsibility for getting "in the mood". If you know your spouse is going to want "IT" why not simply plan for "IT" in your daily schedule?
Don't I have a choice?
You had a choice right up until the day you got married. After that no, you don't have a choice.
But isn't marriage more than sex on demand?
Of course it is. Marriage is the blending of two lives together, in every sense, including propagating the species. The concept of "marital rape" is a way to claim that one person can withhold the basis for marriage whenever they desire. Its a way of saying "we are married in every sense that I find it convenient to be, and none of the ways I do not".
When one person controls the quality and quantity of sex the relationship is prostitution, not marriage. If sex only occurs after/when certain conditions are met, its transactional prostitution. It does not matter who the controller is and who is the controlled.
Polygamy is one way of announcing to everyone that "she's not getting the job done" about the wife. Why that is the case other people may not know, but a second wife or concubine is a clear indication of the first wife's lack of attractiveness/availability in the bedroom.
I find it interesting to note that the bible (which implicitly allows polygamy) prohibits the male form withholding sex from his wife(s). A man was free to take more than one wife, but he could not reduce the marital provision for in material goods, or the sexual provision for the women he was married to. I'm not aware of any other society that shared this principle.