Dear Santa,
We're worried about you. From your rosy red cheeks to your legendary girth to
your all-night sleigh ride around the world, you may be at risk for diseases,
maladies, mishaps, and lawsuits that send chills through our Santa-loving
hearts.
The latest warning comes from the National Rosacea Society in Barrington,
Illinois. Dermatologist Dr. Jerome Litt says you have "a clear-cut case of
rosacea," a skin condition that also affects millions of Americans,
particularly at middle age. Unable to examine you personally, the good doctor
based his finding on a well-circulated report that your "cheeks were like
roses, (your) nose like a cherry." Sadly, many observers conclude that
red-skin condition comes from hitting the Christmas-punch bowl a little too hard.
Sadder still, rosacea can be aggravated by holiday stress, hot chocolate and
overexertion ... all things you may encounter this time of year.
The one bright note in Dr. Litt's message is that certain antibiotics can help,
and he advises you to see a North Pole dermatologist. But the news about your
facial tint is only our latest source of concern. A careful examination of what
we know about you and your lifestyle raises a host of other trouble signs.
OBESITY: Frankly, Santa, this may be your biggest area of concern. Studies show
overweight men have more than double the normal risk of heart attacks and
increased chances of many other diseases. We've seen the pictures; we've
noticed you in the malls. And we've heard that your tummy shakes "like a
bowlful of jelly" when you chuckle. On this, we'll take part of the blame.
All these years, we've set out milk and cookies on Christmas Eve. With 102
million homes in the U.S. alone, even if 1 in 100 homes put out two cookies and
a cup of milk, that would make an overnight snack of 2,000,000 cookies and
63,750 gallons of milk. Maybe it's time for Mrs. Claus to get you a NordicTrack
or a Thighmaster. But be sure to consult a physician before beginning any
exercise regimen.
PIPE SMOKING: You've been pictured with a pipe, and even though an apologist in
The New York Times once claimed it's only a prop, a witness who encountered you
in his home said "the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath."
According to the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, pipe and cigar smokers
have twice a nonsmoker's risk for lung cancer, four times the risk for larynx
cancer, and two to three times the risk for cancers of the mouth and esophagus.
Even if the pipe's just a prop, it might be a good idea to lose it. Remember,
you're not just a saint; you're a role model.
STRESS: Dealing with Christmas wishes from millions of kiddies could certainly
put one on the emotional hot seat. And anxiety can surpass even smoking as a
risk for certain heart problems. On this point, though, we have some good news:
A medical news service says laughter -- as evidenced by your trademark
"Ho, ho, ho" -- is one of the best stress-busters going.
SOOT: We admire your ability to slip up and down the average chimney, an
opening about 12 inches by 16 inches. But creosote flakes on the chimney walls
are toxic and can lead to respiratory problems. Brent Rigby of Emerald City
Chimney Sweeps in Kirkland (WA) said his people never actually go into a
chimney, and they wear protective masks when they reach up through the fireplace
to vacuum the soot.
RSI (REPETITIVE STRAIN INJURY): Cards and letters by the bagful arrive on your
doorstep through regular mail, but this year we've noticed you're also
receiving, and answering, e-mail on at least four Internet addresses. We
applaud your move on to the information superhighway, with this caution: Too
much keyboard work can result in painful injuries to the hands, wrists and
arms.
DEER MITES: Close, continuous contact with your trusty reindeer means if they
get mites, so might you, says Dr. David DuClos, a veterinary dermatologist in
Lynnwood (WA). Watch out for itchy rashes, and keep the deer out of your bed.
FROSTBITE, HYPOTHERMIA: You usually bundle up, and that's good. A Weather
Service satellite recently showed the temperature at the North Pole was 13
below zero, and high winds are common. Exposure to such conditions can cause
frostbite in minutes.
MALL THUGS: You spend a lot of time in shopping malls, so you already know
things are getting a little tough out there. Try not to walk back to your
sleigh at night alone.
MEMORY TROUBLE: It's been said that you make a list, then check it twice. Just
being careful, or are you developing a little memory problem?
SAD (SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER): This time of year, there is virtually no
daylight at the North Pole, and a lack of sunlight can trigger depression in
some people. Maybe a full-spectrum light would help keep you jolly.
VIRAL INFECTIONS: A young witness saw you kissing Mommy underneath the
mistletoe last night. You know this is cold and flu season, don't you?
JET LAG: Fatigue, dizziness, and insomnia are all dangers that travelers face
when they cross through several times zones. And few travelers cross all 24 of
them in one night, like you do.
SLEIGH ACCIDENTS: We've seen plenty of pictures of you in that sleigh, but
never with a seat belt, and we'd sure hate to see you get hurt. By the way,
when you cruise through metropolitan areas, be sure to cover the load. You
wouldn't want to have an accident that would boost your insurance rates, would
you?
Which reminds us: You DO have insurance, don't you?
12/30/2015
12/26/2015
Christmas 1977
I got my butt kicked yesterday in Pong. Yes, in Pong. By my 9 year old. It was his first time ever picking up the controllers on a video game. It all started when I decided that an Atari Flashback 6 would be an ok video game system for my kids. He skunked me. That's right. He didn't even appreciate how bad the joysticks (still) are or that you really should have the paddles to play the game.
I believe the last time I played Pong was 82 or 83. As I was secretly brooding over my defeat I noticed the copyright date, 1978. That date got me to thinking and started a flash back of my own.
I had decided to not see the new Star Wars movie. I made my mind up to avoid it, even though my son had started "hinting" about the movie. That's when I remembered Christmas of 1977.
Christmas day that year was the best Christmas of my young life. I got a X-Wing fighter, a Luke Skywalker action figure and assorted other Star Wars stuff. It rocked!
By 1977 I had been to see other movies with my parents. I remember seeing the Love Bug movies in the drive in. Mom would pop enough popcorn to fill a paper grocery sack and cover it in butter and salt. We would take a big thermos of Kool Aid. Life was good. The first week after school got out in June of 77 something wonderful happened. My dad and Mr. Hilliker took me and Willie to the movies in Pinconning. All I remember was how excited I was to get to go to the movies. I had no idea what we were going to see.
It was awesome! I loved the movie. Star Wars was all me and my friends talked about. It was what we played. We theorized and philosophized about the force and the dark side. We knew Luke was going to avenge Obi Won's death. We couldn't wait for the next movie.
Wait we did. Three whole years we waited. Then in 1980 my father begrudgingly took me to see the Empire Strikes back. I say begrudgingly, he was out of work. The Carter years had taken full effect on the Auto industry. Still I got to go see the movie in the theater. I don't know what was worse feeling like dad was spending money we didn't have on a movie, or learning that Darth Vader was Luke's father.
By the time 1983 rolled around and Return of the Jedi came out, I was older, wiser and I could secretly relate (at least in my mind) about the universal truths hinted at in the movie. I don't remember if my dad took me to that movie. We had moved to another town by then. Still my new group of friends loved Star Wars as much as I did.
We still sort of played Star Wars then. We would ride our bikes around (none of us had cars yet) and make cracks about having a Tie Fighter on your tail. With the advent of VHS we would latter have Star Wars sleepovers at each other's houses and watch all three movies back to back. Seems to me that some of that nonsense may have continued into college too.
The Star Wars prequels were an extreme let down. I wasn't going to see any more of the franchise, because Jar Jar sucked. Lucas should give back everyone's ticket money after those movies. What was he thinking anyway?
What was he thinking? What was I thinking? If I was 9 years old again and Star Wars was coming to my town again, I'd HAVE TO SEE IT! I would. I. Would. Have. To. See. It. If elementary school aged me, could time travel, he would kick middle aged me right in the butt for not seeing Star Wars. What's worse, I'd deserve it. So I got online, ordered the tickets and took my son.
IT ROCKED! It was cool. There was lots of action. Space ships blowing up. Light Saber fights. Friendships formed out of a common goal. They even had some of the old cast back.
Was the story line the same? Who gives an airborne rodents posterior! How many good guys verses bad guys plots can you come up with anyway? It was cool! They shot stuff with lazar blasters and had lots of explosions. Han still loves Leia. Chewy is as loyal a friend as any wookie can be. The aliens were weird and mysterious and mostly spoke something other than English. There were some classic one liners, "rescue first, hugs latter" and allusions to the first movie.
If you can't find magic and mystery in the younger generation holding out Luke's old light saber to him, pleading for him to comeback and take up the fight anew, you have no soul. You are too old, too jaded and too out of touch with your inner 9 year old.
"Dad, this was the best Christmas ever", my son told me. Yeah, it was pretty good. Better even than 1977, because I got to see Star Wars through his eyes. Oh, and I've avenged myself several times on the Atari since yesterday.
I believe the last time I played Pong was 82 or 83. As I was secretly brooding over my defeat I noticed the copyright date, 1978. That date got me to thinking and started a flash back of my own.
I had decided to not see the new Star Wars movie. I made my mind up to avoid it, even though my son had started "hinting" about the movie. That's when I remembered Christmas of 1977.
Christmas day that year was the best Christmas of my young life. I got a X-Wing fighter, a Luke Skywalker action figure and assorted other Star Wars stuff. It rocked!
By 1977 I had been to see other movies with my parents. I remember seeing the Love Bug movies in the drive in. Mom would pop enough popcorn to fill a paper grocery sack and cover it in butter and salt. We would take a big thermos of Kool Aid. Life was good. The first week after school got out in June of 77 something wonderful happened. My dad and Mr. Hilliker took me and Willie to the movies in Pinconning. All I remember was how excited I was to get to go to the movies. I had no idea what we were going to see.
It was awesome! I loved the movie. Star Wars was all me and my friends talked about. It was what we played. We theorized and philosophized about the force and the dark side. We knew Luke was going to avenge Obi Won's death. We couldn't wait for the next movie.
Wait we did. Three whole years we waited. Then in 1980 my father begrudgingly took me to see the Empire Strikes back. I say begrudgingly, he was out of work. The Carter years had taken full effect on the Auto industry. Still I got to go see the movie in the theater. I don't know what was worse feeling like dad was spending money we didn't have on a movie, or learning that Darth Vader was Luke's father.
By the time 1983 rolled around and Return of the Jedi came out, I was older, wiser and I could secretly relate (at least in my mind) about the universal truths hinted at in the movie. I don't remember if my dad took me to that movie. We had moved to another town by then. Still my new group of friends loved Star Wars as much as I did.
We still sort of played Star Wars then. We would ride our bikes around (none of us had cars yet) and make cracks about having a Tie Fighter on your tail. With the advent of VHS we would latter have Star Wars sleepovers at each other's houses and watch all three movies back to back. Seems to me that some of that nonsense may have continued into college too.
The Star Wars prequels were an extreme let down. I wasn't going to see any more of the franchise, because Jar Jar sucked. Lucas should give back everyone's ticket money after those movies. What was he thinking anyway?
What was he thinking? What was I thinking? If I was 9 years old again and Star Wars was coming to my town again, I'd HAVE TO SEE IT! I would. I. Would. Have. To. See. It. If elementary school aged me, could time travel, he would kick middle aged me right in the butt for not seeing Star Wars. What's worse, I'd deserve it. So I got online, ordered the tickets and took my son.
IT ROCKED! It was cool. There was lots of action. Space ships blowing up. Light Saber fights. Friendships formed out of a common goal. They even had some of the old cast back.
Was the story line the same? Who gives an airborne rodents posterior! How many good guys verses bad guys plots can you come up with anyway? It was cool! They shot stuff with lazar blasters and had lots of explosions. Han still loves Leia. Chewy is as loyal a friend as any wookie can be. The aliens were weird and mysterious and mostly spoke something other than English. There were some classic one liners, "rescue first, hugs latter" and allusions to the first movie.
If you can't find magic and mystery in the younger generation holding out Luke's old light saber to him, pleading for him to comeback and take up the fight anew, you have no soul. You are too old, too jaded and too out of touch with your inner 9 year old.
"Dad, this was the best Christmas ever", my son told me. Yeah, it was pretty good. Better even than 1977, because I got to see Star Wars through his eyes. Oh, and I've avenged myself several times on the Atari since yesterday.
12/24/2015
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas my friends. I hope you are enjoying your time with RL friends and family. My best wishes to you and yours.
12/23/2015
BJW--Xmass
Xmas Pick Up Lines
Are you Christmas, because I want to Merry you.
Let's both be naughty this year and save Santa the trip.
Is your name Jingle Bells, cause you look like you go all the way.
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas.
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened."
What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper!
Why is Christmas just like your job?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soot's him
Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present's beneath them.
What do you call a broke santa? Give up yet?
It's Saint-NICKEL-LESS
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!
Who doesn't eat on Christmas?
A turkey because it is always stuffed.
Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
To keep her off the North Pole
How do you know Arnold Schwarzenegger is waiting in line with you on Black Friday?
He Jingles All The Way.
What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate clauses
Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
How can you tell a family doesn't celebrate Christmas?
The lights are on, but nobody's a gnome.
Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit
Name the child's favorite Christmas king?
A stocking.
What is the popular Christmas carol in Desert?
Camel ye Faithful.
What do you call Santa living at the South Pole?
A lost clause.
How does an elf get to Santa's workshop?
By icicle.
Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
He was looking for the holiday spirit.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve?
A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
By icicle.
Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
He was looking for the holiday spirit.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve?
A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
12/19/2015
Meet the Meat Part One
Venison encompass several game animals found in North America. The characteristics of the meat I'm going to talk about are basically the same, although the flavor changes.
Ok, that said, sometimes its not possible to control those factors, if someone is giving you the meat, or if you decided to kill your game in early October. If that's the case, and even if its not, the best thing you can do is get ALL the blood out of the meat before doing anything else.
What I do, even if its my own kill, properly cooled and aged, is thaw or soak the steaks/roast in cold, non-chlorinated water. That's right step number one is get the blood out of your meat. Fortunately this is easy. Thaw your meat in cold water. This will draw out any extra blood that is present. Obviously this is hard to do with hamburg, but for now lets focus on steaks and roasts. This is also true for eating organs, get the blood out!
Venison has very little fat marbled in the meat muscle. This is part of what makes it so healthy to eat. This is also what makes it harder than a rib eye to cook right. That said, its still pretty easy to cook if you follow Res's Rules for Cooking Venison.
- Antelope ~ Strictly speaking, not venison, its antelope not a member of the deer family. It is the strongest flavored meat of group
- Mule deer ~ Large bodied deer, valued primarily for its large horns. Even if you get a smaller Mulley you can mount the horns and pass it off as a large white tail, your friends will be impressed. The meat tends to be stronger flavored than the whitetail
- White tail ~ Two basic categories, "Up North Cedar Swamp deer" and corn feed. In Wyoming we have normal forest run deer. Cedar Swamp deer are gamier. All other varieties are mild, with corn feed being very close to lean grass feed long horn in taste and texture
- Elk ~ Mid to mild in flavor slightly better than whitetail
- Caribou ~ I've never had a bad bou, I suspect that "bad bou's" are the result of improperly caring for the meat. Delicious is an understatement, although admittedly its been 18 years or so since I lucked into an invite to eat some
- Moose ~ Yum! Mild in flavor and to a palette accustomed to all I can kill antelope, awesome!
Ok, that said, sometimes its not possible to control those factors, if someone is giving you the meat, or if you decided to kill your game in early October. If that's the case, and even if its not, the best thing you can do is get ALL the blood out of the meat before doing anything else.
What I do, even if its my own kill, properly cooled and aged, is thaw or soak the steaks/roast in cold, non-chlorinated water. That's right step number one is get the blood out of your meat. Fortunately this is easy. Thaw your meat in cold water. This will draw out any extra blood that is present. Obviously this is hard to do with hamburg, but for now lets focus on steaks and roasts. This is also true for eating organs, get the blood out!
Venison has very little fat marbled in the meat muscle. This is part of what makes it so healthy to eat. This is also what makes it harder than a rib eye to cook right. That said, its still pretty easy to cook if you follow Res's Rules for Cooking Venison.
- Get all the blood out
- Meat must be room temp before cooking
- Marinating is helpful, although not necessary
- You don't have to over cook it
- If you do, and it's tough its your fault
- Shoe leather is not toothsome
- Mid well (gray with juice) is a done as you want to cook it
- Mid rare to medium is plenty (remember you got all the blood out, its going to taste fine)
- Exception, the crockpot its going to get well done, that's ok you're cooking with moisture and the meat will be fine
- Exception, the Dutch oven, again you should be incorporating moisture with this method so well done is going to turn out fine
12/18/2015
Coincidence?
Star Wars started playing in my town last night.
Speaker of the House Paul Ryan announced a budget deal that creates $1 Trillion in new spending. The Whitehouse is celebrating its victory. The republican base has played the fool again.
I don't want to think that Paul Ryan is a evil Sith Lord. Besides we know there are always two of those and we already have Hillary and Obama.
I was able to get a picture and transcript of Paul Ryan introducing the budget before congress.
Mesa Jar Jar Ryan. Mesa Benedict Boehner's hand picked replacement. Mesa make masa Obama very happy. Mesa sapossa big budget increase. Isa funda everything democrats want. Everyone like mesa nowsa. Republican base? Wesa send death star to deal with that.
Speaker of the House Paul Ryan announced a budget deal that creates $1 Trillion in new spending. The Whitehouse is celebrating its victory. The republican base has played the fool again.
I don't want to think that Paul Ryan is a evil Sith Lord. Besides we know there are always two of those and we already have Hillary and Obama.
I was able to get a picture and transcript of Paul Ryan introducing the budget before congress.
Mesa Jar Jar Ryan. Mesa Benedict Boehner's hand picked replacement. Mesa make masa Obama very happy. Mesa sapossa big budget increase. Isa funda everything democrats want. Everyone like mesa nowsa. Republican base? Wesa send death star to deal with that.
GFF--Women Power
Armed Citizens Pull Guns, Save 90-Year-Old Man Under Attack
Ron apparently had the presence of mind to demand the criminal assume a less threatening position. He then held him, at gun point for the cops to arrive and secure the prisoner. Both Karen and Ron acted heroically as well as correctly.
Karen's heroism was in running to the conflict and attempting to stop it. She did more than that. In the heat of battle with her airline flowing she had the presence of mind to properly escalate force and the good sense to allow her unexpected backup to take over and control the situation.
Ron also was heroic in his aiding his neighbor. Ron's command to the suspect to get down and spread out was vital to controlling the situation.
After action incident dissection reveals several correct actions:
According to Fox 5, The woman–Karen Duncan–heard the 90-year-old gentleman screaming for help so she grabbed her gun out of her purse and came running. When neighbor Ron Childress saw Duncan running “in a panic” he grabbed his gun and ran to the house too.As the story goes on to say, Karen's first command to the criminal was ignored. This was despite the fact she had a gun pointed at him. Then she offered to shoot him. That gave the would be murder time to reflect. It was in that brief period of time that another hero, her neighbor Ron, arrived with his gun drawn too.
Ron apparently had the presence of mind to demand the criminal assume a less threatening position. He then held him, at gun point for the cops to arrive and secure the prisoner. Both Karen and Ron acted heroically as well as correctly.
Karen's heroism was in running to the conflict and attempting to stop it. She did more than that. In the heat of battle with her airline flowing she had the presence of mind to properly escalate force and the good sense to allow her unexpected backup to take over and control the situation.
Ron also was heroic in his aiding his neighbor. Ron's command to the suspect to get down and spread out was vital to controlling the situation.
After action incident dissection reveals several correct actions:
- Karen had a gun with her
- Ron had a gun with him
- Karen got back up (Ron)
- Karen intervened correctly from a legal standpoint
- Ron deescalated the criminal correctly
- Ron continued to control the criminal until backup arrived
- Ron and Karen allowed the cops to secure the criminal
12/17/2015
For Lunch
This is a story over 20 years in the making. Years ago I made a trip to Germany. While there I stayed at an inn that made everything in house. I mean everything. The food was grown on the farm. They had their own livestock and butchering facilities. They had a bakery where they made bread and they brewed their own beer.
My first night they served us a wonderful meal. I knew that something was different and I (in my mind) innocently asked what the meat was. This made my waitress very nervous. She was afraid to tell the table full of Americans that in addition to growing and making everything in house, they also shot Bambi and offered him up to the tourists. Eventually she fessed up.
I was delighted and told her so. Not only was she relieved that I liked it, she was surprised to learn that I hunted and enjoyed eating venison. This put me in remarkably good standing with my hosts and gained me preferential treatment the rest of my stay.
Last month I bumped into a casual acquaintance of mine. Growing up he split his time between Fort Belknap and the white world. We were talking about this and that and he asked me how hunting was. That lead to a discussion about fixing venison. I mentioned that I had this wonderful venison dish when I was in Germany. He asked me to describe it, and then told me what it was. Apparently his half Blackfoot and half German Grandmother used to make "the best mule deer sauerbraten in the world".
He gave me some pointers, and today I enjoyed the result of 5 days worth of marinating and slow roasting Bambi's younger brother. Not only was he fall apart tender, he literally melted in my mouth. I'm not claiming to be on par with my buddy's grandmother, but I've got an idea of where to start working on it.
My first night they served us a wonderful meal. I knew that something was different and I (in my mind) innocently asked what the meat was. This made my waitress very nervous. She was afraid to tell the table full of Americans that in addition to growing and making everything in house, they also shot Bambi and offered him up to the tourists. Eventually she fessed up.
I was delighted and told her so. Not only was she relieved that I liked it, she was surprised to learn that I hunted and enjoyed eating venison. This put me in remarkably good standing with my hosts and gained me preferential treatment the rest of my stay.
Last month I bumped into a casual acquaintance of mine. Growing up he split his time between Fort Belknap and the white world. We were talking about this and that and he asked me how hunting was. That lead to a discussion about fixing venison. I mentioned that I had this wonderful venison dish when I was in Germany. He asked me to describe it, and then told me what it was. Apparently his half Blackfoot and half German Grandmother used to make "the best mule deer sauerbraten in the world".
He gave me some pointers, and today I enjoyed the result of 5 days worth of marinating and slow roasting Bambi's younger brother. Not only was he fall apart tender, he literally melted in my mouth. I'm not claiming to be on par with my buddy's grandmother, but I've got an idea of where to start working on it.
Hillary, Trump and the GOP
The scattered news reports I see about Hillary and her activities as Secretary of State, lead me to wonder if she is a candidate for the Big House instead of the Whitehouse. Obviously I'd rather see her in jail, where she belongs.
If the wonderful happens and she is held accountable for at least some of her crimes, what will that do to the Presidential election?
I can see a probable chain of events that would create tension and upheaval in Washington. It is possible that Donald Trump gets the Republican nomination. I'm sure that GOP insiders are working hard to arrange a brokered convention to rob him of the nomination as you are reading this. For argument sake lets say he gets it. Then Hillary ends up either on trial or in jail and isn't able to run as the Democratic nomine.
If Donald is in the race and Hillary is in jail, who is the GOP leadership going to support?
If the wonderful happens and she is held accountable for at least some of her crimes, what will that do to the Presidential election?
I can see a probable chain of events that would create tension and upheaval in Washington. It is possible that Donald Trump gets the Republican nomination. I'm sure that GOP insiders are working hard to arrange a brokered convention to rob him of the nomination as you are reading this. For argument sake lets say he gets it. Then Hillary ends up either on trial or in jail and isn't able to run as the Democratic nomine.
If Donald is in the race and Hillary is in jail, who is the GOP leadership going to support?
12/16/2015
BJW -- Holiday Party Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our " Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
Company Memo
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!
Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2009
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan
====================================================
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our " Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
Company Memo
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!
Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2009
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan
====================================================
12/15/2015
Makes Sense
Before I explore this news story I want to inject my personal belief up front. As far as immigration is concerned Donald Trump doesn't go far enough. Does that me extreme? Maybe. Maybe it makes me a realist who loves his country and doesn't want it destroyed.
Which brings me to my news story:
Right wants door open for Christian Syrians
The war in Syria amounts to Muslims of various denominations killing other Muslims over points that are important to them. The one thing the different groups agree on is that killing Jews, Christians and other non-believers, is the only thing better than killing each other.
If the United States truly was a benevolent country interested only in alleviating suffering in Syria, we would let the non-Muslims come stay, while keeping the Muslim combatants out. If the US was merely ignorant, but fair minded we would accept a proportionate number from the population but keep them strictly separate here in the US.
What we have done is bring in large numbers of people who hate and kill each other in their own country to our country. To help them settle in, we put them on welfare. Then we get them on the path to voting Democrat. Since they now have civil rights, and some extra cash; the next logical thing is for them to buy some guns. After all, they've proved they know how to use them.
Someone has an agenda, and is pushing it, hard.
Which brings me to my news story:
Right wants door open for Christian Syrians
Conservatives are outraged over the small number of Christian Syrian refugees who have been allowed to enter the United States — even as some on the right float a ban on their Muslim counterparts.
The U.S. has allowed just 34 Christians to enter as refugees from Syria since the civil war broke out there more than four years ago, according to the State Department’s most recent available data.
That accounts for just 2 percent of the roughly 2,100 Syrian refugees the U.S. has accepted — disproportionately smaller than the 10 percent of Syrians who are Christian.I'm going to make some BIG assumptions. First, that Syrian Christians don't hold any views that would be harmful to the United States. After all they may. Second, that there is some method of reliably determining who is a legitimate Syrian Christian and not a terrorist gaming the system. After all its not like we are screening members of Hamas or ISIS. Third, that there would be a net benefit for both the refugee and the United States by allowing these people to relocate to our country. Forth, Syrian Christians want to come to the US. They may not.
The war in Syria amounts to Muslims of various denominations killing other Muslims over points that are important to them. The one thing the different groups agree on is that killing Jews, Christians and other non-believers, is the only thing better than killing each other.
If the United States truly was a benevolent country interested only in alleviating suffering in Syria, we would let the non-Muslims come stay, while keeping the Muslim combatants out. If the US was merely ignorant, but fair minded we would accept a proportionate number from the population but keep them strictly separate here in the US.
What we have done is bring in large numbers of people who hate and kill each other in their own country to our country. To help them settle in, we put them on welfare. Then we get them on the path to voting Democrat. Since they now have civil rights, and some extra cash; the next logical thing is for them to buy some guns. After all, they've proved they know how to use them.
Someone has an agenda, and is pushing it, hard.
12/13/2015
Purchases as a Rite of Passage
As a boy grows into manhood their are some things he should buy, preferably with his own money. I say preferably because in some cases young men are gifted certain items by the men in their life who want them to have a special memento. I have no objection to boys getting these items as gifts, but there is a special sense of achievement when a boy pays for them with money he has earned himself.
These are listed in order of age from youngest to oldest. I assume that the boy making the purchase is doing so with his father permission and oversight. The boy should earn the money either from his allowance or paper route or doing odd jobs. Mom or dad shouldn't just fork over the cash. There is no achievement in buying stuff you want with money that cost you nothing to get.
You may have noticed that I have left buying a car off the list. This is not a mistake. Yes, I bought my first car when I was 18. No, I have no objection to boys buying cars. Yes, it is an important step in securing independence and manhood for most. Owning a car isn't absolutely necessary to manhood, and in some cases paying for the responsibility of a car might be the best way for the boy to go. A young man going into the service or away for education or training may not need the extra expense of a car as he focuses on his future.
Men provide protection and safety to those they love. Being prepared to do this is a boy's acceptance of manhood. He should buy his guns ideally on his 18th birthday. He should do it before he fills out and signs his selective service card or his voters registration paperwork.
These are listed in order of age from youngest to oldest. I assume that the boy making the purchase is doing so with his father permission and oversight. The boy should earn the money either from his allowance or paper route or doing odd jobs. Mom or dad shouldn't just fork over the cash. There is no achievement in buying stuff you want with money that cost you nothing to get.
- A pocket knife about age 9
- Fireworks, of the pop bottle rocket and fire cracker variety 10 or so
- A BB gun
- Earn a hunters safety certificate (age 12 most states)
- Small game hunting license
- Fishing license
- Big game hunting license (the age for the licenses will depend on your state)
- Pay for his drivers license and insurance age 16
- Shotgun, rifle age 18, a boy obviously should already have his own 22 before this time, I'm talking about going into a store and purchasing new guns, which by law means age 18.
You may have noticed that I have left buying a car off the list. This is not a mistake. Yes, I bought my first car when I was 18. No, I have no objection to boys buying cars. Yes, it is an important step in securing independence and manhood for most. Owning a car isn't absolutely necessary to manhood, and in some cases paying for the responsibility of a car might be the best way for the boy to go. A young man going into the service or away for education or training may not need the extra expense of a car as he focuses on his future.
Men provide protection and safety to those they love. Being prepared to do this is a boy's acceptance of manhood. He should buy his guns ideally on his 18th birthday. He should do it before he fills out and signs his selective service card or his voters registration paperwork.
12/11/2015
I'll Get Right On It
In todays email:
OFFICIAL WINNING NOTIFICATION
1. Name in full: ..
2. Address: ..
3. Nationality:
4. Age: .
5. Occupation: .
6. Phone/Fax: .
7. Present Country:
Normally I just delete this stuff. The person who wrote this doesn't speak English as their first language. They do have a very good command of British English, which is to be expected of a person with a email address and phone number in South Africa. There are a couple of tell tale hints that let the read know this "notice" isn't on the level. Other than the fact I've never entered a South African lottery that pays its winners in pounds sterling.
The sad thing is that the person writing this is smart enough to fake a business letter in a second language. That shows a degree of intelligence and education. Seems like (s)he (they mixed the pronouns in the letter) could apply those skills to a legal trade and earn money the honest way.
SHELL PETROLEUM LOTTERY WINNING NOTIFICATION IN COLLARBORATION WITH SHELL PETROLEUM DEVELOPMENT COMPANY {SPDC} AND BRITISH AMERICAN TOBACCO C OMPANY.
REF No: EGS/251256003/02
BATCH No: 14/0017/1PD
WINNING No: 60/84/27/8/36
OFFICIAL WINNING NOTIFICATION
Dear winner,
Winner in the 2nd category of our Shell Management free Net Lottery Promotional award draws held on 5th OCT 2015.I am writing in respect to your lotto winning prize of L800,000.00 Pounds (Eight hundred thousand only ) which you won through the email ballot draws in our Shell Management Lotto Award on 5th OCT 2015 in the second category prize winnings category.
We wish to inform you that your total prize money of L800,000.00 Pounds has been Returned to us by our Lotto claims delivery company as unclaimed prize after their initial Letter to your address for your award payment was not successful.
You are here by requested to contact our Treasury Officer on his email address below for Your immediate award payment.
Treasury officer's name: Mr Alex Bate
Email: admin.shel.centre@webmail.co.za
Tel: +27-787432159
Therefore contact her immediately for your claim lotto prize award payment.
You should contact our Treasury Officer as directed above for your payment, and do notify me as soon as you received your payment from our Treasurer.
Please note: You have to reconfirm your full details to him such as:
1. Name in full: ..
2. Address: ..
3. Nationality:
4. Age: .
5. Occupation: .
6. Phone/Fax: .
7. Present Country:
Thanks,
Anderson Edward (President; Int'l Lotto Org.) ANY BREACH OF CONFIDENTIALITY ON THE PART OF THE WINNERS WILL RESULT TODISQUALIFICATION. WINNING RESULT MUST BE KEPT SECRET TO AVOID DOUBLECLAIM WHICH WILL RESULT CANCELIATION
Normally I just delete this stuff. The person who wrote this doesn't speak English as their first language. They do have a very good command of British English, which is to be expected of a person with a email address and phone number in South Africa. There are a couple of tell tale hints that let the read know this "notice" isn't on the level. Other than the fact I've never entered a South African lottery that pays its winners in pounds sterling.
The sad thing is that the person writing this is smart enough to fake a business letter in a second language. That shows a degree of intelligence and education. Seems like (s)he (they mixed the pronouns in the letter) could apply those skills to a legal trade and earn money the honest way.
GFF--Your Turn
Today's GFF Friday post is your chance to be part of the story.
Her name is Safyre. She is eight years old. She has burns all over her body from a arson fire that killed her family. She wants enough Christmas cards to fill a dime store Christmas card holder. This is gonna cost you less than $3, including postage. Her address is:
Safyre
P.O. Box 6126
Schenectady NY 12306
P.O. Box 6126
Schenectady NY 12306
Be part of Good Folks Friday
12/10/2015
A Phone and a Pen
America's dictator in chief, the man has issued more executive orders to fulfill his whims than any other American despot, can't be bothered to use the pen and his phone when it might actually help protect the country.
Obama: Terror rampage not enough to suspend ‘fiancee’ visa program
We can argue the number, effectiveness and lawfulness of his various orders. What is readily apparent is that in each and every case the willingness, nay the eagerness on Barry's part to whip out his pen and fire off an order when it advances his agenda.
The media has made much of Mr. Trumps so called "scandal" about banning Muslims. The real scandal is that Obummer won't even temporarily slow down an entry visa program that allows terrorists into our country to kill our people.
Obama: Terror rampage not enough to suspend ‘fiancee’ visa program
The White House said Thursday it won’t seek an immediate suspension of the “fiancee” visa program under which the female terrorist who massacred 14 people in California last week entered the U.S.The article goes on to say that they are "reviewing" the situation. I'm guessing that means "waiting for the whole mess to blow over". Obama wants to ban coal. Obama wants to ban oil pipelines. Obama wants to ban economical automobiles. Obama wants to ban affordable electricity. There is no end to the pro-American things Obama wants to ban.
We can argue the number, effectiveness and lawfulness of his various orders. What is readily apparent is that in each and every case the willingness, nay the eagerness on Barry's part to whip out his pen and fire off an order when it advances his agenda.
The media has made much of Mr. Trumps so called "scandal" about banning Muslims. The real scandal is that Obummer won't even temporarily slow down an entry visa program that allows terrorists into our country to kill our people.
12/09/2015
Zero Hour
In one hour and fifteen minutes I will walk through the doors of one of the larger regional banks in the Western US and interview for a position on their management team. It's a fairly good position on the team. It could be the team I spend the next 25 years playing for.
I won't say I don't care. I do care, in a big way. Things are different. My mindset has changed a lot in the last 10 years. I care, but I don't want the job if its not the right thing at the right time. I've never had that outlook before.
I'd like to say that I've matured as a professional. That's not strictly true. I've done almost no professional work in the last 5 years and not a whole lot in the two before that. What's changed is my spiritual outlook. God has accomplished a great deal with my faith. It's not like I'm on some spiritual mountain top, or that I've grown to super heights as a Christian. I'm still a substantial sinner.
What has changed is that I'm willing to trust that God's best, is best.
UPDATE
I arrived 10 minutes early for the interview. The interview was supposed to go about an hour. It went almost two.
It was a great interview. I genuinely like the guy who would be my boss if they hired me. The organizations culture seems to be a good match for my personality and ethics. The over all mindset of my interviewer looks like a good match for our market too.
I want this job. I want it more than I did when I applied and now I want it more than I thought I wanted it this morning. Part of that is a burning desire to get off the rat wheel I've been on for the last 5 years. Another even bigger part is that this looks like a real good fit for me. I want this job badly, and now my hopes are up.
It looks like I'll be getting a second interview, maybe even before the end of the year.
I'm very happy with everything I can see about this job. Now I'm waiting on a call back and seeing if the fleece is wet.
I won't say I don't care. I do care, in a big way. Things are different. My mindset has changed a lot in the last 10 years. I care, but I don't want the job if its not the right thing at the right time. I've never had that outlook before.
I'd like to say that I've matured as a professional. That's not strictly true. I've done almost no professional work in the last 5 years and not a whole lot in the two before that. What's changed is my spiritual outlook. God has accomplished a great deal with my faith. It's not like I'm on some spiritual mountain top, or that I've grown to super heights as a Christian. I'm still a substantial sinner.
What has changed is that I'm willing to trust that God's best, is best.
UPDATE
I arrived 10 minutes early for the interview. The interview was supposed to go about an hour. It went almost two.
It was a great interview. I genuinely like the guy who would be my boss if they hired me. The organizations culture seems to be a good match for my personality and ethics. The over all mindset of my interviewer looks like a good match for our market too.
I want this job. I want it more than I did when I applied and now I want it more than I thought I wanted it this morning. Part of that is a burning desire to get off the rat wheel I've been on for the last 5 years. Another even bigger part is that this looks like a real good fit for me. I want this job badly, and now my hopes are up.
It looks like I'll be getting a second interview, maybe even before the end of the year.
I'm very happy with everything I can see about this job. Now I'm waiting on a call back and seeing if the fleece is wet.
BJW Jewish Edition
Get out your Adam Sandler CD's. It's that time of year again. Newest Version.
Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years.
While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides. By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the new holiday is being called.
Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit. As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.
Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the message on the dreydl will be the more generic "Miraculous stuff happens." In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.
One of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner. A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared happy about this.
A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well. He merely pointed out that, were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the holiday market. Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance. He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful."
Menachem, a Jewish businessman, warned his son, Moshe, against marrying a non-Jew.
Moshe replied, 'But she's converting to Judaism.'
'It doesn't matter,' the old man said. 'A shiksa will cause problems.'
Moshe persisted. After the wedding, Menachem called the son, who was in business with him, and asked him why he was not at work. 'It's Shabbos,' Moshe replied.
Menachem was surprised, 'But we always work on Saturday. It's our busiest day.'
'I won't work anymore on Saturday,' Moshe insisted, 'because my wife wants us to go to shul on Shabbos.'
'See,' Menachem retorted, 'I told you marrying a non-Jew would cause problems.'
12/07/2015
Blame Game
Blame the Christian no wait, blame the Jew, no wait again; blame the messianic Jewish, NRA supporter, right wing, probably potential Donald Trump voter. That's right blame him. Blame him because he might have posted something on Facebook AND he has a very foreign sounding name, Thalasinos. With a name like Thalasinos he should have been running a Coney Island not working in the hallowed halls of local government.
Lets blame that guy. According to Linda Stasi guys like him are the problem. Pro Life? That's a problem. Against the mass murder of unborn babies to procure body parts for profit? That's a problem. Not kissing enough Muslim backside? That's a problem. Think Muslims are violent killers who will murder to further their political agenda? That's true. BUT it's a problem that anyone would be such a hate filled bigot to say so. It's such a problem that according to the New York Post via Stasi, that Americans who speak out against the radical left wing agenda should lose their jobs.
Does that mean they should lose their life too Linda? The entire point of the Stasi article was to compare and put one of the victims in the same philosophical boat as the killer. As far as Linda Stasi is concerned Jews turned Christian who like guns and hate killing the unborn are exactly the same as Muslims who hate them and enjoy killing anyone who isn't Muslim. Because NRA.
As far as Stasi is concerned both men were losers. Her proof? They both used the internet to find and meet a women to marry. That's it. As far as she is concerned that proves that they had low social sexual value and were deserving of horrible things. No need to look any deeper, except blame the Jew/Christian/NRA/ProLifer. In the final analysis its his fault because everyone in the MSM KNOWS that Muslims are good people who only do bad things because somebody else caused them to feel bad.
Lets blame that guy. According to Linda Stasi guys like him are the problem. Pro Life? That's a problem. Against the mass murder of unborn babies to procure body parts for profit? That's a problem. Not kissing enough Muslim backside? That's a problem. Think Muslims are violent killers who will murder to further their political agenda? That's true. BUT it's a problem that anyone would be such a hate filled bigot to say so. It's such a problem that according to the New York Post via Stasi, that Americans who speak out against the radical left wing agenda should lose their jobs.
Does that mean they should lose their life too Linda? The entire point of the Stasi article was to compare and put one of the victims in the same philosophical boat as the killer. As far as Linda Stasi is concerned Jews turned Christian who like guns and hate killing the unborn are exactly the same as Muslims who hate them and enjoy killing anyone who isn't Muslim. Because NRA.
As far as Stasi is concerned both men were losers. Her proof? They both used the internet to find and meet a women to marry. That's it. As far as she is concerned that proves that they had low social sexual value and were deserving of horrible things. No need to look any deeper, except blame the Jew/Christian/NRA/ProLifer. In the final analysis its his fault because everyone in the MSM KNOWS that Muslims are good people who only do bad things because somebody else caused them to feel bad.
12/04/2015
GFF -- Be Awesome
"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about"
Ian McLaren
Do something awesome today. These folks did:
I've seen this kind of story about churches in different cities ordering a pizza and then giving the driver a big tip. I don't know if there is a pastors conference where they decide that this is a good object lesson or if it's some kind of trendy church thing. It doesn't really matter though. When you're living on tips a good one makes your day. A great one makes so much more.
Sometimes people do great stuff by complete and total accident. Heck who knows, maybe if the women in our next story had been having a bad day things might not have turned out so grand, but she wasn't and they did.
"Picked out a cake at Meijer. Asked bakery-looking-employee if she could write on it for me. She said she would, and after a long time, she came and presented me with this cake. I looked her In the eye and said thank you before I even looked at the cake. After looking, I nervously laughed and headed to check out- it didn't really matter to me that it looked so bad- I thought people would think it was funny. The cashiers at the self check out didn't think it was so funny though, and called a few more cashiers and a manager over to look, even taking pictures. To my surprise, after they discussed it, one cashier put her arm on my shoulder and said 'the girl who wrote that has Autism. Thank you for smiling and thanking her- even though she's not supposed to write on cakes, you probably made her day.' So I guess the moral of the story is that kindness is important!"
Not flying off the handle, not throwing a fit, not demanding things be done "right", not being the way most of us are most of the time; equals winning in a big way.
This next story demonstrates why cops should be recorded on tape every moment of their shift.
Robin Sutherland is having trouble coping with the sad reality that her 90 year-old mother is about to begin hospice care.
Shortly after receiving the news, the Somerville, Mass. resident was pulled over for speeding.
"It just sort of hit me in those few quiet moments what was really happening," Robin said.
The officer let her go with a warning. But later that day, the officer gave her much more - sending a bouquet of flowers with a heartfelt note.
The note read:
"I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. I hope you find comfort in knowing she lived a long life and will continue to live on in your heart and in your memories. - Officer who pulled you over this morning"
With the exception of the $700 tip none of the folks in these stories spent more than $50. What they did was worth a million. Go and do thou likewise.
12/03/2015
Up Early
I'm awake early today. For those of you that work a normal 9 to 5 day waking up before 8 am might not seem "early". It is for me. For the last few years I've been working a night shift. Most days I'm still manfully trying to get in a few more hours of sleep at 8am. My children don't seem to grasp the concept of being quiet so dad can sleep.
That's not a problem today. Today its too quiet. Even the dog has noticed a sense of peacefulness that has descended like a mist upon our home. The children are gone, as is she who scolds him.
Yesterday was a big day. The old women who cleans twice a year, came by in the afternoon. She tormented him by running the vacuum cleaner and threatening to ram one of its attachments down his throat. He refrained from barking his defiance. Well, he did until the old women vacuumed him into the corner by his master. With nowhere left to run or hide he made his stand and loudly bayed his displeasure at the contraption.
This morning all is still. Mrs Ipsa and her mother have taken the children back to Grandma's house for Christmas. They left early this morning. They will be back in 17 days, Yes I'm counting. In that time they will consume more sugar than they have all year. They will experience a Christmas at grandma's that will be the rough equivalent of 7.3 of the Christmases I had a as a kid. They will make special memories. They will have a fantastic time.
All's not gloom and doom at home. I still have a selection of Thanksgiving leftovers to nourish myself. And the dog. I still have the dog. He's even being extra attentive and wagging his tail more than usual. Maybe he misses the kids too. That or he's angling for some turkey and gravy.
That's not a problem today. Today its too quiet. Even the dog has noticed a sense of peacefulness that has descended like a mist upon our home. The children are gone, as is she who scolds him.
Yesterday was a big day. The old women who cleans twice a year, came by in the afternoon. She tormented him by running the vacuum cleaner and threatening to ram one of its attachments down his throat. He refrained from barking his defiance. Well, he did until the old women vacuumed him into the corner by his master. With nowhere left to run or hide he made his stand and loudly bayed his displeasure at the contraption.
This morning all is still. Mrs Ipsa and her mother have taken the children back to Grandma's house for Christmas. They left early this morning. They will be back in 17 days, Yes I'm counting. In that time they will consume more sugar than they have all year. They will experience a Christmas at grandma's that will be the rough equivalent of 7.3 of the Christmases I had a as a kid. They will make special memories. They will have a fantastic time.
All's not gloom and doom at home. I still have a selection of Thanksgiving leftovers to nourish myself. And the dog. I still have the dog. He's even being extra attentive and wagging his tail more than usual. Maybe he misses the kids too. That or he's angling for some turkey and gravy.
12/02/2015
Situational Ethics
When Sam returned to
the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman
they had hired had stolen two towels.
"Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do."
"You're darn right it wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had .... you know the ones we got from the Hilton Hotel while we were on vacation!"
"Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do."
"You're darn right it wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had .... you know the ones we got from the Hilton Hotel while we were on vacation!"
12/01/2015
Dodged a Bullet
Ah sex. We all love it. We like thinking about it, talking about it, and best of all doing it. I can remember back to those pre-sex days of my youth. I know I wanted it. I was looking forward to it, dreaming about it and just about creaming my jeans when I accidently brushed my hand against a girls boob when we were making out and she reached over, took my hand and placed it back firmly on her breast. Apparently girls want sex too. Life has been good ever since I made that discovery.
The truth is that turning down sex is much easier when you are a virgin than after. Afterwards you know what you are missing and doing without is much harder when you need something and can't get it. No doubt this is why the Bible prohibits all sex outside of marriage and promotes unlimited sex with your spouse.
I imagine the whole sexual fulfillment thing works about the same for the female of the species as it does that male. It's easier to go without when you haven't had it, than it is after your used to getting it. Since women claim that they need more emotional and relational connectedness to feel sexual desire and satisfaction, it may be slightly easier for them to go without than it is for men.
What was Olivia Culpo thinking when she announced that she was breaking up with Tim Tebow because he wouldn't have sex with her before marriage? How big of a slut is she that she can't make it a few months? According to reports, mostly from Ms. Culpo's friends, Tim is head over heals in love with Olivia and writes her mushy notes and calls her and is totally smitten. Olivia looks like this. How hard is it for a girl that looks that hot to close the deal with a young, physically fit male?
By close the deal, I mean marriage. "Tim honey, (purr) I feel so close to you, (purr) you're so strong, (purr) I want to get closer yet (purrrrrr) make me your wife so I can love you like I love you (purrrrr)" There isn't a guy alive who wouldn't break a 4 minute mile running down to the court house to get a marriage license, if he had a girl with that body making that offer. The poor fool probably wouldn't even bother to have her sign the pre-nup.
Which makes me wonder, did she really dump Tim, or is there more to this story than meets the eye? Like, I don't know, maybe a Christian minded guy, with a net worth well over a million bucks might not want to marry a women whose naked pictures I linked to on the internet. I think Tebow dodged a tackle or a bullet this time.
The truth is that turning down sex is much easier when you are a virgin than after. Afterwards you know what you are missing and doing without is much harder when you need something and can't get it. No doubt this is why the Bible prohibits all sex outside of marriage and promotes unlimited sex with your spouse.
I imagine the whole sexual fulfillment thing works about the same for the female of the species as it does that male. It's easier to go without when you haven't had it, than it is after your used to getting it. Since women claim that they need more emotional and relational connectedness to feel sexual desire and satisfaction, it may be slightly easier for them to go without than it is for men.
What was Olivia Culpo thinking when she announced that she was breaking up with Tim Tebow because he wouldn't have sex with her before marriage? How big of a slut is she that she can't make it a few months? According to reports, mostly from Ms. Culpo's friends, Tim is head over heals in love with Olivia and writes her mushy notes and calls her and is totally smitten. Olivia looks like this. How hard is it for a girl that looks that hot to close the deal with a young, physically fit male?
By close the deal, I mean marriage. "Tim honey, (purr) I feel so close to you, (purr) you're so strong, (purr) I want to get closer yet (purrrrrr) make me your wife so I can love you like I love you (purrrrr)" There isn't a guy alive who wouldn't break a 4 minute mile running down to the court house to get a marriage license, if he had a girl with that body making that offer. The poor fool probably wouldn't even bother to have her sign the pre-nup.
Which makes me wonder, did she really dump Tim, or is there more to this story than meets the eye? Like, I don't know, maybe a Christian minded guy, with a net worth well over a million bucks might not want to marry a women whose naked pictures I linked to on the internet. I think Tebow dodged a tackle or a bullet this time.
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